Happy Tree Camp!
by Phoenix Reece
Summary: A story, originally by xXMethereaperXx, that I have had the honor of re-doing. Chapter 25, the absolute finale is fianlly here! Completed thanks to YOUR constant support!
1. Special Delivery!

**Author's Note**

Phoenix here, with a startling reveal! That's right, the story you'd never expect out of me!

Happy Tree Camp!

Now Methereaper isn't updating as much as he used to, so I asked him to re-do the story, and that's exactly what I'll do!  
Now, of course, this means I need YOUR help! OCs are necessary for this story to continue, so please, don't be shy, submit! In fact, this story was how I first got involved in FF, and technically Chunky's debut! So without further ado  
**Happy Tree Camp!**

It was around five in the morning, a lone bicycle road down the empty street in what soft light the newly arriving dawn could bring the delivery boy on his runs that night. He'd been up and down the town running little, individual packages to nearly every mailbox in town. The poor thing seemed to have been through a lot in his letter run, given that he didn't have the luxury of a truck like most mailmen. In fact, the only bike he had to ride on had half flat tires, and was looking worse for the wear than it had started that night.

It was covered in swap water and muck, a few bullets had dented the handlebars on one particular drop spot, and tiny bite marks were laid into the bike and it's rider. Whoever saw him was less than receiving of the midnight runner, but who wouldn't be suspicious of a single person on a bike near midnight?

After all, it wasn't every day you saw a human in Happy Tree Town.

He peddled faster, trying to get his last delivery finished before the sun was fully up, and his cover was blown. Sweating from exertion, he kept pace while groping around in his little burlap messenger bag, until he found the last letter, and looked to the right side of the tiny suburb.

"Bingo, Flaky's house." He smiled, and went to turn into the small driveway, not noticing the small pothole in the road. He hit it hard, and tumbled forward off the bike, crashing into the trashcans on the side of the street, simultaneously creating a huge racket, and activating the automatic driveway light mounted on the garage.

The delivery boy sat dazed, trying to regain his bearings, when he heard someone stir in the house, before the front door swung open.

Flaky hesitantly stepped out, clutching a small garden gnome, and looking around the lawn, horrified, "He-he-hello? W-w-who's there? I don't, EEEEK!" She caught a glimpse of the horrific beast laying in her trash, and fell sideways into a small shrub. She slowly pulled apart the foliage, to watch the monster, and prayed that it couldn't hear her muted breath.

It stood, and she caught and even better, more terrifying view of it. It stood immensely tall, at least Lumpy's height, like some hairless gorilla. It scratched the stubble on its chin contemplatively, plucked an envelope from the ground, and slowly began towards her. At that moment, she released the bushes, and they bounced back in front of her face. She shook, but hoped for dear life that whatever that thing was didn't see her.

Unfortunately, it did, and it pulled the bushes apart above her, looking down on her pitiful form. She shrieked, and covered her eyes, praying her death would be swift.

"Um, ma'am? You're Flaky right?" It sounded like a raspy throated wolverine, if Flaky were to describe it, and it almost seemed like it was trying to make words.

"I needed to give you this letter," It outstretched its hand toward her and she screamed again, flailing her arms.

"No! Please, stop, you'll attract a crowd!" But the porcupine didn't listen, the delivery boy waited for a split second, before deciding he needed to get moving, "Sorry, but, I gotta go!" He slapped her on the head, and she screamed even louder.

Flaky sat there, belting her shrill cry into the early morning, until she heard a clatter, and then a squeaking of wheels, and endeavored to peek out of the bush. The monster was retreating, thank god, and now she could sprint up to her bed and call in sick today, the shock was too much.

She slowly climbed out of the bush, before realizing something was stuck in her quills. She plucked out a letter, partially impaled on her dandruff laden spines, and unfolded the string wrapped parcel.

_Dearest Ms. Flaky,_

_It is my pleasure to inform you that you have been invited to a special camp, where all the residents of Happy Tree Town are pitching in to create a wonderful summer experience. So please come join us, if you can. Send us back an R.S.V.P. to the following address to be polite, and take the ticked included with you. A bus will be arriving in a week, so pack your belongings and get ready for the summer of your life._

_The Happy Tree Camp Staff_

* * *

So then, shall we begin? A form for you OCs is as follows.

Name:  
Gender:  
Species:  
Appearance:  
Personality:  
Skills or Talents:  
Relationships:  
Misc(Anything else you can include):

Most all of you will be campers, unless I see a possibility for another role, which I will of course ask for permission before using. And I may also play around a bit with relationships, if your character has none. Also, Pippy, Chunky, and Mumbo(My own OCs) will be used in some parts of this story, so if you care, you can read up on them in some of my stories. Other than that, submit your OCs and get ready for a rollercoaster ride of mayhem, romance, music, and danger! Because, would you expect anything less than the best, from me?


	2. Welcome to Camp!

**Author's Note**

Hey all, sorry about the wait, I was just making sure that I got everyone who wanted to be in to post a reply. Now I just wanna go out and say that the campers in the story are going to be*ahem* "normal" as they can get. That means no PTSD, no magic, and they won't be heavily armed. So, fasten your seatbelts for this exciting installment of

**Happy Tree Camp!**

A week after that fated incident, Flaky was as close to traumatized as she could be. Unfortunately for her, that wasn't enough. Her usual timid demeanor allowed her friends to easily convince her to come to camp, despite her best efforts to convince them that there was a monster handing out tickets to this hellhole.

But, she tried to keep a stiff upper lip, and stood, trembling mind you, in front of her house. In one hand she held her backpack by its straps, her quills keeping it from resting comfortably on her shoulders. The other hand held her ticket, which was more like a pamphlet than anything, dressed up with pictures of the camp's facilities, and the schedule for each day. It was a little comforting to know she'd at least have a nice safe plan of action when she got there. It was her responsibility to hold ground, knowing her reckless friends.

A distant rumbling made her crane her head down the road, and it was indeed the bus to camp, rolling to a stop to allow her on. The doors slid open and Flaky was shocked, although certainly not surprised to find Lumpy was driving.

"Heya Flaky, allow me!" He hopped out of the driver's seat and grabbed the backpack from her hands before she could react. He tossed it up onto the bus, alongside the piles of other bags. Judging from that and the noise coming from the bus, she must have been last to be picked up. Lumpy then hopped back into his seat, and invited her in with a dopey grin and an outstretched hand. Flaky did her best to smile, and jumped onto the bus and found an empty seat by the front. Someone stretched over the seat and called out her name,

"Hey Flakes, heads up!" Before Flaky could react, something bounced off her head, and she screamed.

"Calm down, and look in your lap," The same voice, it was Cuddles, and Giggles was beside him. Flaky hushed herself, and took a quick look at her seat, it was a cookie.

"Giggles' mom packed her some, and she's expecting more by mail. Pretty awesome huh?" He elbowed Giggles' playfully, and they both beamed a warm smile in her direction, which Flaky returned. Maybe camp wasn't going to be so rough for the little porcupine.

Meanwhile, a familiar face, Chunky the Koala had just boarded, and found an empty seat beside what seemed like a badger and a bear crossbreed. He sat quickly, and quietly, he was nervous enough without being next to such an intimidating, at least by his standards, creature. It was a girl, he knew that much, but as for her species, it was still up in the air.

"Uh. Um," He was searching for something to say, rubbing his neck and grasping for a word, "Hi. I'm uh, Chunky, yeah.. Who are you?"

The Badger glanced in his direction, and gave a melancholy sigh, before returning to staring out the window, "Blade. My name's Blade." He could barely hear her.

"Well, um, why so glum? I mean, we are going to an amazing summer camp, right?"

"I guess. It's just," She turned back to him, she looked like she was blinking back tears, "I was hoping this summer I'd finally meet someone nice, but look, you're the first person to sit next to me!"

Chunky was beginning to feel guilty, despite not actually doing anything to harm her. He took a deep breath, and placed a hand on her shoulder, "Um, Blade is it? You shouldn't be too upset, I mean, I just got out of a relationship. C'mon, don't looks so upset…"

Blade lifted her head, and gave Chunky a bright smile, which also revealed the gleaming rows of sharp carnivore teeth behind her buck teeth. The large koala shrieked like a girl, and fell backwards into the opposite row, where he sat, shivering and quickly looking back at Blade. She sighed again and looked back out the window.

"Hey, Chunky, you okay big guy?"Chunky nearly jumped out of his skin before he realized who he had just jumped next to, Tyler the cat. A friend of his, who was looking just a little excited to be going to camp, and was rocking back and forth on his seat.

"Yeah… I'm fine, are you,"

"Yup, never better," Tyler interrupted him, " I'm just seriously pumped about this! I mean, a summer camp? Awesome! What if it's an awesome summer camp for psychics, and there's this one kid who runs away from home because his father hates psychics and comes to the camp? And then someone starts abducting the campers and performing experiments on us to make us sneeze our brains out! But then that one kid who snuck in,"

"Tyler," Chunky cut him off, "I think I've heard that story before."

Tyler gave a nervous smile, and thought for a moment, before responding, "Well, what if, in the middle of summer, it starts snowing, then a rift opens up and takes a group of us to the digital world where we'll be heralded as the Digidestined to save the world with the help of our…"

Chunky, realizing that trying to get him to stop wasn't going to work, planted a palm firmly on his face and let Tyler rattle out his story, which of course branched out into another story, and another….

Meanwhile a few other campers were occupying their ride a little bit differently, a purple Raccoon girl, Caramel, a grey wolf, Niki, and a green cat girl, Mint, were sitting in the front row, behind Lumpy, and singing an off-key melody together.

"Eighty-six bottles of beer on the wall, eighty-six bottles of beer! Take one down, pass it around, eighty-five bottles of beer on the wall!" The three girls, arms around each other, were standing and rocking back and forth in their seat, singing loud enough for the whole bus to hear, whether they wanted to or not.

"Caramel!" Mint stopped singing for a moment, "when do you think we're gonna get to camp?"

"I dunno!," Caramel said, "But it's gonna be capital A-mazing!"

"This is gonna be the greatest summer ever!" Niki shouted, they laughed and began singing again, even more spirited and louder than before.

"Eighty-five bottles of beer on the wall, eighty-five bottles of beer! Take on down, pass it around, Eighty-five bottles of beer on the wall! Eighty,"

"Excuse me!" Someone behind them shouted, and the two stopped dead in their song. It was Frost, another Cat, who was looking over a letter. "I can't read with all this noise…."

The two girls leaned over their seat and looked down on him,

"Ooooh, what kinda letter?" Caramel leaned in close, almost touching her forehead to his. Frost blushed, and held the letter to his chest,

"It's nothing, something from Flurry." He muttered, hoping they couldn't hear him. But, of course, they heard, and squealed with delight.

"Omigod! Flurry's writing you while you're away?" Mint yelled, far too loudly, and soon the entire bus was focused on him. Slick, a weasel, leaned over. Or more rather, he was pushed over, by Lammy, who was sitting beside him.

"Really? That's sweet, Slick never writes me when I'm away…" she sighed, and elbowed Slick, who didn't seem to be paying attention. He grumbled, and muttered something under his breath, before saying,

"You're never away to write to…"

Another girl leaned over from behind Frost, Zehuva, she was known. If she had a crush, it was obvious from looking at her beret and army fatigues who it was. But, she felt the need to say it anyway,

"Oh, I'd write to my Flippy any day of the week, he's such a great boyfriend."

The entire bus became silent, and several dozen eyes all honed in on Zehuva. Her demeanor suddenly faltered, and she held one arm, with a wounded look on her face.

"Wh-what? What are you looking at?"

A head poked out from the crowd, it was Lifander, some new polecat not a lot of Friends knew. He adjusted his glasses and shouted at her, "I'm looking at a Flippy Fangirl, the scum of the earth!" Zehuva cringed at his words, and a few others shouted something similar. Lifander was suddenly struck on the back of the neck, it was Ruffy, a bear,

"Lay off the poor girl, ya jerk!"

The polecat recoiled, but doubled himself up again and poked Ruffy in the chest, "Listen, you don't know what you're talking about."

"And you do?" Someone else, a voice no one immediately recognized shouted at Lifander, and before he could sort to the crowd to find them, the collective campers were shouting and hollering over each other, some fighting for no reason in particular other than to join in.

Admist all the chaos, Frost curled himself up in his seat, and held the letter from Flurry close, hoping they'd arrive at camp in a timely manner, and that everyone would quickly forget about his little secret. Someone sat beside him, he turned and it was Lumpy, a warm look on his face.

"Don't worry pal," His dopey drawl was actually kinda comforting, "People would fight to have a girl like you've got."

"Wow, thanks Lumpy, I didn't know you," Frost caught himself mid sentence, something was gnawing at the back of his head.

"Who's driving the bus?"

…

The sun was just going down on the campgrounds, and the staff was hurriedly preparing for the arrival of the campers. The mess hall was radiating with a warm, spicy aroma of tonight's welcoming dinner, and the cabins had been cleaned spotless to show the camp's pride in their campers. Even the sign that hung in front of the entrance, a large wooden arc with "Camp Happy Tree" carved across it. In the courtyard, a circle of cabins that was the dropping off point for the arriving Campers, Flippy was proudly raising a patriotic flag in the very center of the main campgrounds, having finished all his other official duties. The banner reached its peak, and began to flutter in the breeze, prompting a satisfied sigh, and a quick salute from the veteran bear. Just then, Pop approached with a clipboard, checking off to make sure the other Counselors were prepared.

"Flippy, excellent work, but" He seemed a little preoccupied, "do you happen to know where Meth is?"

"Yessir, he's down by the docks, helping Russell rig up the rowboats."

"Oh, good!" Pop smiled, and checked the clipboard a few times, "Do you happen to know if his cabin was cleaned, or do we need to get Phoenix?"

"No, no, I took care of it. Meth seemed kinda busy and asked me to help him out, so I figured I might as well. No trouble really," Flippy gave a salute and headed off, "We gotta get moving anyway, the bus is gonna be arriving soon, Pop."

Pop nodded, and checked off his clipboard a few times, before hurrying after Flippy, towards the camp gates. Meeting them there was Mime, Russell, Sniffles, and Disco Bear, the other staff of the camp, save for the chef, who was still at work.

"Alright Counselors," Pop addressed the others, "we've got a hefty responsibility this year. What with the rumors surrounding these woods, we're going to have to put our lives on the line to keep the campers safe, you know that these campgrounds come with a gift and a price. Am I understood?"

The counselors all nodded in agreement, they had been given this speech before.

"Now, Russell, where's Meth? He was with you, correct?"

"Yar! He was! But he'd stayed at the boating house when we was finished, said he had to do something."

Pop immediately became suspicious, and would have gone out to search for him, if not for what was about to happen. In an instant the bus that was supposed to be carrying the campers skidded down the road towards them, before its wheels gave out underneath it and the entire three tons of steel flipped over, the baggage tossed onto the dirt before the counselors. And, if the camp sign wasn't there, the bus would have landed directly on top of them. But as it was, the bus crashed sideways into the sturdy wooden sign and nearly broke it, before it finally ground to a halt.

The trap door on the top of the bus was kicked out, and a purple head poked out from inside, a wicked grin spread across her face.

"We're here!"

…

"Now that everyone's been accounted for, and thankfully alive," Pop began, the campers all grouped before him in the Mess Hall, "We can begin our welcoming ceremony. My name is Pop, and I'm your headmaster this summer, and this is our Camp assistant, Sniffles" They each received some modest applause from the crowd.

"Thank you very much. First I'd like to thank you for all attending, and I assure you that this will be the greatest camping experience that you've ever had, because, as you may or may not know, this campground has been death free for over sixteen years!"

Now this wouldn't be much of an achievement, in fact you'd hope most camps you attend were death free. But, in a world where cute, cuddly creatures die agonizing and random deaths daily, only to be revived the next day, this was too good to be true.

The campers began talking amongst themselves, most shocked, and even more excited, if the claim was true. That there was some place they could be safe, it would indeed be the greatest summer of their many lives.

"Yes, it is indeed true, but a word of caution, that we've never had a death in this campground is saying that we've been safe. It's believed that this pocket of land is outside of the curse we all know so well. That being said, you must realize that if this is case, we can also assume that while random deaths will not occur here, any death would be permanent."

They all hushed at his somber tone, but the grief was quickly alleviated by his next statement, "But, this isn't the first time camp has been conducted here, so as long as we stay safe, we can rest assured that there will be no deaths! Now, to introduce our counselors. Please give a warm welcome to, leading the Oak Cabin; Mime!"

The Purple deer sat up from the table where the other counselors were seated, adjusted his striped shirt, and took a bow, pantomiming a 'Hello'.

"And," Pop continued, "Leading Evergreen Cabin; Flippy!"

Flippy stood beside Mime and, much to the Deer's displeasure, the clapping became much more uproarious, including a certain bear who called out to Flippy wildly.

"At the head of Sugar Maple Cabin; please welcome Disco Bear!"

Disco jumped up, did a split and landed on the table, before pulling himself up and striking a pose for the campers. Who, as a whole, remained completely silent. In fact, there were only a few snickers to reward Disco's "performance". He sat back down, dejected.

"Not funky guys, just uncool." He muttered, sadly.

"Yes, very nice, Disco… Now for the next Cabin, Weeping Willow, I apologize. The counselor is not present at this time. So we'll,"

"'Scuse me? Talking about someone?" All eyes snapped towards the voice on the other end of the room. A bear dressed in all black was leaning against the door, somehow he slipped in without being noticed. He ran his fingers through his messy black hair and scratched his scalp nonchalantly, as he approached the Counselor's table. Pop huffed, and introduced the strange bear,

"Hmph, so here's the Weeping Willow counselor Meth, fashionably late as always." Pop cleared his throat once again, something he was often doing, some say it was because he was old, and others believed he did it simply because he believed it made him look astute.

"Now, as for the last cabin leader, I'm afraid that there is no one readily available. There is some construction going on around the outskirts of the campground, and Handy requested Lumpy aid him in working. As it stands, we're going to have the Redwood Cabin group together with the Evergreen cabin, but you'll still be bunking separately. Which, brings me to the next order of business, your cabin assignments."

He pulled a piece of paper off the clipboard, and stuck it to the bulletin board behind him. Unfortunately, the Campers waited no more than a second to trample him getting to the assignment list. The counselors each took spots near the entrance, to await their campers and to give the rabid children some space to avoid being trampled like Pop.

Within moments, the first group, Mime's was assembled. It consisted of Toothy, Cuddles, Lifander, who seemed less interested with his group, a panther, who we have learned is named Maria, and Ollie, a taller raccoon girl. And one, unaccounted for cat, Mint, who was clutching Mime's side.

"Please tell me you'll visit my cabin Sensei Mime! Please?" She begged. You'd hardly expect a girl who loved to talk as much as Mint was a mime trainee. The deer gave a reassuring nod, and pushed mint off towards her group, the Weeping Willow Cabin.

Her newfound friend Caramel was there, as was Tyler, Flaky, and Chunky, who, at the time, was struggling to get a certain raccoon to stop hugging him so tight.

"Caramel, please, I can't breathe…." He moaned, but she only held tighter.

"Aw, but I'm so excited! This is gonnabe thebest ,"

Chunky was trying to figure out who talked more, her or Tyler, as he gasped for breath.

Meanwhile, Sugar Maple Cabin had grouped up, and much to Disco's delight, it was mostly women. Blade, along with Lammy, Petunia, and Giggles. In fact, the only boy in the group was chatting with another camper from a different group, Spades, another fox.

"Don't leave me! C'mon bro! We'll switch real quick, nobody'll notice!"

"Spades, please, cut it out. I'm not in the mood," Frost shook his head, Spades fell to his knees.

"You can't do this to me! Just because your girlfriend isn't here doesn't mean you get to hog the best cabin! I mean, you're up to your neck in chicks!" But Frost just shook his head, and Disco slid up beside him.

"Sorry, Kool Kat, but that's the way the cookie crumbles, ya dig?" Disco growled, and pulled Frost back towards the group, "C'mon player, the ladies await."

Spades was just about to cry, when a booming voice jolted him into attention.

"PRIVATE! Up and Adam, cupcake!" It was Flippy, and it was hard to tell if he had flipped or not, "You just bought your group a stack of twenty!"

"Sweet, I could use the cash," Spades held out his hands, and Flippy smacked his wrist,

"Push-ups private, get going!"

The entire cabin groaned, and fell to the ground, Mae, Brooke, a fox girl who had a crush on a certain other camper(Whom we shall not reveal just yet),, Slick and Nutty, the other campers, shot him dirty looks as they did their push-ups. Spades only lowered his fedora over his eyes and kept going.

Which left only the Redwood cabin, or lack thereof. Ruffy, Niki, Zehura, Shifty, Lifty and DJ, a cat with a devious look in his eyes, all stood, looking back and forth at each other. They had no cabin leader, and from the looks of it they'd be spending the rest of camp at Flippy's Boot camp if something wasn't done. But there was no time for that, because as the last cabin assembled, the double doors at the far end of the mess hall were kicked open, on cue, and a lanky alligator walked out, holding a huge metal pot half the size of himself.

It was Mumbo Jumbo, a crocodile salesmen known for his voodoo and chivalry in equal measure, but today he was Chef Jumbo and he laughed a hearty laugh before slamming the steaming hot cauldron down on the nearest table, spilling a few drops of its contents onto the floor.

"I believe you forgot to mention someone on that staff list. Mr. Mumbo Jumbo Katsup n' Pepper Jeremiah Krowley, or as many know me, Mumbo. I'll be your chef for the duration of the camp, and tonight I've mixed up a down home favorite, my "Momma Mumbo Jumbo's Louisiana Gumbo!""

The campers all pulled in to get a whiff of the tantalizing stew, and nearly melted at the overwhelming odor of hot pepper and crawfish. Several had to draw back to keep from drooling into the pot. Mumbo laughed again, and rubbed his stomach.

"Looks good, don't it?" He held a claw to his mouth and called to the kitchen, "Hey Phoenix, boy, where those bowls at?"

A clatter from behind those same double doors, and out stepped something Flaky wished she didn't see. That same horrifying beast, this time dressed in a messy kitchen apron like Mumbo's, carrying a platter of bowls that tilted left and right with each approaching step. She hyperventilated for a moment, and no one seemed to take notice, every was too entranced by the scent of gumbo. Finally, she took a deep breath and shrieked with all her might. Everyone fell down, clutching their ears, and the monster began to stagger left and right, trying to keep a hold of his trays. Mumbo snapped into action, and clutched Flaky's mouth shut with his enormous hands.

"Flaky, what is wrong with you? You tryin' to kill us?" He slowly let go of her head, and she stammered, pointing.

"M-m-m-m….Monster!"

Pop chuckled and approached the frightened little girl, kneeling to meet her eyes,

"Oh Flaky, that's just our Errand boy, Phoenix."

"But…wh-what is it?"

"He's a very special breed, a human. We'd never seen one before, but he was here in the spring when we started setting up for the camp, and he seems to understand our language, though he's far too dumb to speak it. He's harmless, and dumber than a deaf Cossack. Now come on everyone, eat up!"

Phoenix, it was called, placed the bowls down in front of each of them, and then left back into the kitchen, not to be seen again for the entirety of the night. Flaky did catch a glimpse of its face a few times, but the thing just seemed very uninterested and dull.

The campers ate quite a few helpings of gumbo, and there was plenty of it to go around. Mumbo was an excellent chef, though many wouldn't believe it at first sight. Finally, the campers were escorted by their counselors, save for the Redwood cabin, whom Pop saw to getting back, and they all settled in for the night, awaiting the next day's adventures.

Well, most of them settled in.

* * *

Beeeeeyootiful. Now that that's finished, I can relax. For these first few chapters, it'll be mostly like a tv show. Just a few unconnected adventures of the cabins and the like. But rest assured, I've got a few big arcs in waiting.

Oh and jacobstar4444? I've got plans for Ryder, don't worry.

Y'all come back now, ya hear?


	3. No Rushin'

**Author's Note**

Okay, so I'm an idiot. I had trouble getting down exactly who was who, and I thank those who commented to tell me to get my head out of my butt. Hopefully I've fixed all the species confusion in the first chapter, if anyone wants to double check, it'd be appreciated. But now for a another chapter of…

**Happy Tree Camp!  
**_"No Rushin'"  
Starring  
?_

_And the Redwood Cabin!_

….

The Cabins of Happy Tree Camp were a very simple deal. Held a few feet off the ground by a few beams, wide enough to fit around three beds on either side of it, and two more bunks on the side opposite of its entrance. Screens around the perimeter of it allow your neighbors to easily see inside, if you didn't close the shades, and it allowed for a little room in the center of it to move about. That's where our day begins. Or more rather, our night. The campers of Redwood Cabin just couldn't fall asleep, after all, why would you want to go to bed if you were to wake up to a war scarred bear ready to put you through a hell of a boot camp in the morning.

Desmond Jazed, DJ, sat in his bunk, tossing cards across the room into Shifty's overturned fedora while the two raccoon brothers watched, sitting in a corner. Niki was rolling around in her bunk, more than a little worried, and Ruffy was suckling the meat off a few crawfish shells. Apparently Niki had no taste for fish, and ate around them in the gumbo, so Ruffy was happy to take the remainder of her bowl back to the cabin.

Finally, Niki fell right out of her bunk with a loud thump, and shouted, though not out of pain, "What are we gonna do?"

Ruffy spat a shell he was chewing on into the bowl and wiped his mouth with his sleeve, before responding, "What do you mean, about what?"

"About tomorrow, of course," She bounced onto Ruffy's bunk and grabbed his shoulders, "I am not getting put through Flippy's Marine Core!"

Zehuva, who had been dreaming blissfully about tomorrow, stirred from underneath her covers, "Oh cheer up! At least we're gonna spend tomorrow with Flippy!" She swooned, her voice quavering when she said his name, and she even fluttered her eyelashes. Shifty rolled his eyes, and placed his fedora back over his ears, while his brother snickered.

"Well, any bright ideas about tomorrow?" Shifty asked to no one in particular, but nevertheless a hand shot up. Of course, Shifty didn't even turn in Zehuva's direction, "That doesn't involve hanging out with Flippy?" A sad moan and she lowered her hand. DJ, who was rolling a screw he had found on the ground between his fingers, spoke up,

"Why don't we go find someone to take Lumpy's place? I mean, this is a big forest, lots of people come and camp here. We could find someone tonight and bring them here to apply for a job!"

The campers muttered amongst themselves. It was a crazy idea, but then again most of them were crazy. But Lifty spoke up, "Oh come on, are you high? What's the odds of finding someone who will just happily sign up to watch us? Not including whatever pedophile we meet in the woods."

Lifty ducked just in time to avoid the crawfish that was thrown at him, and hit the cabin screen with a wet thud. He glared over at Ruffy, who nervously pointed his gaze towards Niki, who was fuming.

"It doesn't matter! I'm stressed out, I don't wanna go to boot camp, you're ugly and this cabin stinks like fish!" She was yelling much louder than she realized, panting and clutching her fists. Ruffy calmly patted her on the back.

"S'all right cowgirl, we'll go for a walk," He said, trying to comfort her. He looked around the rest of the cabin, and the others seemed to be in agreement. After all, a little fresh air couldn't hurt, could it? The campers piled quietly out of the cabin, taking care not to wake up the other campers in the closely knit circle that everyone was bedded in. They bumped and tripped and cursed each other for every sound they made. If they woke anyone up, it'd be all over.

So, with DJ leading the pack with Niki close behind, the group headed out, towards the construction site. As far as they knew, they had slipped out without being noticed. Of course, what they didn't know was someone had been watching them. Standing across the way from the cabins, a certain hairless gorilla was pushing his mop and bucket back to the small shack in which he slept, and had noticed them slipping out. He smiled dully, and took a small notepad, jotting down something quick, before returning to his late night work.

…

"Okay, now up and at 'em!" Ruffy and DJ popped Zehuva over the chain link fence, leaving only them on the other side. Lifty and Shifty tossed over their sheets from the other side, they had quickly tied them up into an impromptu rope, which Ruffy and DJ climbed over. They initially wondered why a camp needed a fence, but after going beyond it for a few minutes, they starting to wish they hadn't asked. It looked normal from afar, sure, but what the heavy machinery was digging up was much more interesting.

"Guys, I'm really starting to regret coming here," Zehuva shuddered a little, passing by some of the digs. The rocks that had been pulled out of the earth looked odd, and seemed like they had something carved in it.

"Quiet fangirl, we'll make it out fine." DJ called back to her, though he was starting to become nervous. The bottoms of the holes seemed to be glowing in the moonlight. He prayed it was just his imagination. Every time he passed a hole, despite his best efforts he looked down it, and whatever was at the bottom was starting to look like drawings. Drawings of people. He looked back to Zehuva, and with almost an apology in his voice said,

"So, what do you think they're doing here anyway?"

A bit of silence washed over the group, none of them really knew what they were doing. And none of them certainly didn't want to talk about it. Someone shouted and broke the silence, much DJ's relief.

"Hey you guys!" Ruffy, who had moved ahead, was standing on top of a mound of dirt, "There's something out there, further out in the woods, someone's got a campfire going!"

"Great, let's go you guys, quit lagging behind!" DJ seemed aggravated, but he really just wanted to get out of the site. The brave little group moved onward, with Lifty finding himself in the lead now. The trees started getting thicker as they went along, and the raccoon brothers were starting to miss the dig site. Shifty began to say something as they went along, but he wasn't able to finish.

Something snapped around his foot and hoisted him into the air. His brother jumped back in shock and shrieked, which calmed everyone else down, to say the least. They practically forgot they were trying to be quiet, with all their laughing.

Lifty blushed, and started helping his brother down. That was the least of their troubles, though, within a few more feet they walked into another trap, a few arrows, neatly placed in a makeshift tripwire bow, lashed out and just barely punctured Zehuva's favorite beret. And before they could catch their breath, Niki nearly fell into a Burmese tiger trap. They were clearly walking into serious danger, but they silently agreed that trying to turn their back on whatever was setting these traps was a bad idea, and marched onward.

It wasn't long before they could smell the ashes in the air, and feel the heat of the fire. Ruffy saw it first, and ran forward further, to what he thought was a tent. The others weren't quite as quick, and he nearly left them behind, before Niki sprinted after him,

"Wait up Ruffles, where are you going?"

He stopped in his tracks, and turned towards them,"Don't call me that! And I found the camp site,"

Ruffy turned to feel a cold kiss from a Tokarev TT-30 pistol. His entire body was thrown into a cold sweat, and he started to tremble. The man on the other end of the gun was a Hyena, and a grizzled one at that. His fur was messed, and cuts crisscrossed his face. Ruffy looked behind him, the Hyena's "campsite" was a fire, some empty bottles, and what looked like a downed helicopter. His eyes were steely, looking down at him with cold conviction, and he spoke calmly, and softly.

"Who, the hell, are you?" His accent was heavily Russian. Ruffy shook, and stammered,

"I, I'm R-ruffy. Me and my f-friends are," The Hyena's hand shot up, towards the woods.

"Who else is out there?" He shouted, the others stepped out, their hands in the air. He constantly switched who he pointed the pistol at, almost deciding who to shoot, before he aimed back down at Ruffy, "Go on, tell me what you're doing here."

"We're just campers, from the camp a little ways off, and we were looking for a counselor for our cabin."

He scowled, "Do I look like a babysitter? Go, before fertilize the trees with your brains." DJ called out from a few feet away,

"Hey, c'mon, can't you use the money? I mean look at you!" The others were horrified, but DJ was grinning ear to ear, despite an angry Russian who was now pointing a fire arm at him.

"What about me?"

"You're living in the woods surrounded by empty vodka bottles, couldn't you use a little cash? I mean, ow!" Niki elbowed him in the ribs,

"Are you retarded, that's the last kinda guy we need at camp!" She whispered, he leaned in close and whispered back,

"Hey, he's better than Flippy." DJ turned back, "C'mon, it won't be that hard, if a degenerate like Meth could get a job there, you could!"

The Hyena's hand tensed up, and he walked past Ruffy, the gun held high. He pressed the gun against his temple, and spoke close to his face.

"Did you just say, Meth?"

"Yeah, bear, black hair, dull listless eyes, know him?" The Hyena looked about to click the trigger, before smiling, tossing the gun in his holster. A mockery of a smile spread across his face, as if he'd forgotten how a smile was supposed to look like and tried faking it. Then, he exploded with laughter, making everyone else a little more nervous.

"I like you, little boy. Okay, deal, I will go to camp with you. My name is Ryder," He raised his hands and called the others, "C'mere children, we're a family now." The campers hesitated, and the Ryder yelled,

"I SAID NOW!" They quickly huddled together, and he wrapped his arms around them. They struggled a bit, especially Zehuva.

"You…smell like Vodka and beef." She muttered, holding her breath. Ryder glanced around,

"So now we go back to camp."

"Kinda, we're not even supposed to be out." Shifty laughed, nervously.

Ryder drew back, and rubbed his chin, contemplating, "Then, you go ahead, I'll catch up with you. I don't think there are many traps left, but just to be safe, I'd go around the construction site for now."

Even though most of them doubted DJ's choice, it would be ridiculous to try and argue with this man, and just plain stupid to make him angry. So they turned the other way, and started walking around the perimeter of the site, no one was eager to step back inside there anyway. Though, something was still eating at Shifty, something strange.

"Hey, how did that guy know the camp was behind this construction site?"

….

Now that the children were gone Ryder could analyze his newfound opportunities. Four years living in these woods trying to trap it were finally paying off. Now he knew were both of the experiments were, both of them were somewhere in these woods. He took a bag from the busted frame of the helicopter he had traveled to these woods, the same that served as his temporary home. He'd use the children to get close to Meth, and convince him that his old friend was somewhere in the woods.

Then he'd finish off whoever was left.

"Two birds, one stone." He chuckled, packing another clip of ammunition, nestling it between the hand grenade and vodka.

* * *

Well, what do we have here?

Next time, we'll take a look at Weeping Willow Cabin!


	4. Silence Science, Or Love REALLY Stinks

**Author's Note**

Things are spicing up now, aren't they? We've got strange digging sites, and a very strange Russian who seems to know Meth?

Ah well, no time for that, let's just let some Campers have their fun.

**Happy Tree Camp!**

"_Silence Science" Or "Love REALLY Stinks"_

_Starring  
Meth  
And The Weeping Willow Cabin_

Pop glanced over the resume once again, just to make certain this hyena was serious about his offer. It was a crisis and all, keeping the kids in line and cleaning up around the Dig Site, but was honestly going to hire someone like this? For starters, half his resume was in Russian, and the other half was dirty jokes, not to mention the stench of alcohol and dried blood about him. But, if he was to keep the kids out of the site, Ryder had no problem with corporal punishment.

"Well, I'm not sure I'm saying this, but you've got the woodland experience, and you're the only one willing to work under these conditions," Pop slid the résumé across the table, before stamping it with a large red 'Approved'.

Ryder plucked the paper off the table, and exited without another word. His smile spoke it all, everything was falling into place. As he slammed the door shut behind him, leaving Pop alone in the small office, he slowly reached beneath his desk and pulled a walkie-talkie from somewhere hidden. A click, and he spoke softly, with an impatient twinge,

"Sniffles, is the poison ready?" A pause, he clenched the device tighter, "I don't care, bring what you have. Now that we've got someone willing to kill it, we're not wasting any more time!"

…

Now a few things were running through Ryder's mind as he left the Headmaster's cozy, two-story cabin. First and foremost he'd have to speak to Meth, he'd need to be on board before this could go anywhere. He was strong enough to kill the monster alone, but smart enough to want a 'friend' or two in between him and it. After, he'd have to deal with getting rid of the kids for a while, they didn't need to die, so he'd have to think of something to keep them busy. Then, all that remained was to trap the beast as he intended, corner it, and let Meth do his dirty work for him.

Judging by the rough map he had been given at the door, he'd reached the camper's cabins, and Meth's cabin was on the far end. He hesitated at the thought of pulling him away from children, and leaving them alone, but he knew better, getting them away from an experiment was a favor.

…

It was only about ten in the morning, but the Campers of Weeping Willow hadn't even left their cabin, thanks to their fearless counselor. They all stood, huddled around his bunk, nobody but Caramel daring to touch him. Every time she poked his side, he writhed under his covers, until his eyes barely blinked open. He retracted at the light, and pulled his sheets over his head, before groaning,

"Okay, so I've got a hangover, anyone know what that means?"

Caramel raised her hand, and he somehow pointed to her, "Doesn't that mean you're drunk?"

He sat up in his bed and managed a smile in her direction, "Close, it means I was drunk _yesterday. _So everyone back to bed."

They groaned, and finally Meth cracked, sliding out of his bunk. He must have slept in his clothes, jacket and all, and only mussed his hair a little to prepare himself for the day.

"Alright, we gotta get you guys a shower I suppose."

They looked around sheepishly, and Mint responded, "We've already had our showers. The bugle call this morning sounded at 7. We had breakfast too."

Meth chuckled a little, heading for the door, "I guess that's starting your day off strong, let's," He pulled the door open, and nearly walked headfirst into a Hyena, about to knock on the same door. It took a moment, before he scowled, this was no stranger. They immediately began talking, low, monotone, and business like.

The campers, still across the room from him, the campers couldn't hear a word they were saying, and could only exchange nervous glances. Caramel elbowed Chunky, as if to tell him that he was to do something about it. He suddenly became nervous, and quickly elbowed Tyler, and motioned him toward two. He smiled, and gave a thumbs-up, and what the cat did next had to be seen to be believed.

He slid in between the camper's awaiting eyes, and Meth's conversation with this new stranger. Tyler leaned near them, and then returned to his peers. He suddenly became straight-faced, and mussed his hair to act as a caricature of Meth.

"I already know that he's here, that's why I came!" he did a spot on impression of Meth, then changed his expression and hair to match the Hyena, before continuing, "So? You're willing to go it alone? I say a partnership is the only way we'll survive long enough to kill him."

He paused, to lean in and listen once again, before going on, "What do you have to gain, I mean, why would you use me to kill it, isn't that more satisfying?" Another costume change,

"Are you an idiot, the stakes are raised, we die here we die for good, and that's our best opportunity to kill him. Now decide quickly, I'm sick of watching that idiot cat screw around."

"Hey wait….."

Meth walked back, casually smiling, before addressing the campers, "Sorry guys, something's come up. I'm gonna have to go take this new counselor for a tour around camp, you guys have got the schedule, right?"

Flaky perked up and fished a piece of paper out of her pockets, "Right here Meth!"

"Grrreat, now you guys have fun, I'm sure you can handle your own!" He left, hurried, but not to be so quick as to draw any more suspicion than necessary. The minute he was gone, though, the campers showed they knew much more than he hoped. They started to talk amongst themselves,

"I'm a little worried, I mean, what are they trying to kill and why do both of them need to team up?" Chunky said, his imagination beginning to make his teeth chatter.

"Well, there's only one way we can find out, a stake out!" Caramel said, getting giddy with her own ideas. She jumped into her backpack, laid neatly under her bunk, and pulled out a maginifying glass and a pair of handcuffs.

"Well go track them down and interrogate 'em!"

Chunky went up alongside her, "Great idea Caramel, but why'd you pack that stuff anyway?"

She giggled, "Oh, the magnifying glass was for burning ants, and the handcuffs were.. Actually, I don't remember packing these." She shook the bright metal handcuffs in her hand loosely, until Tyler snatched them up, blushing.

"It's, erm, personal." He muttered, and the other campers quickly looked away. Flaky, of course, was having second thoughts about trailing Meth, and whatever dangers it could lead to. While the others packed, she looked nervously around, and right when they were about to leave, she raised a hand, apprehensively, waiting for someone to notice her. Tyler, who was almost out the door, turned and pointed to her, like a teacher calling on a student, and she finally spoke.

"Um, I really don't think this is a good idea, maybe we could stick to the itinerary? I mean, it wouldn't hurt…"

Tyler didn't even answer her, instead left with Chunky, shaking his head and chuckling under his breath. Caramel was just about to leave, too, but she was busy trying to get Mint to move. She was sitting, legs crossed, on the ground, and seemed to be meditating.

"C'mon Minty, we gotta get going if we're gonna catch up with Meth!" She tugged on Mint's ears, but she remained sitting, intensely focused.

"Caramel, I'm preparing my mime energies!" She finally snapped, "I need to take a vow of silence to keep my powers up."

"But, you've been talking all day. Doesn't a vow of silence need to be kinda, permanent?"

Mint stood and brushed some dirt from her pants, before smiling at how naive her friend was, "Silly girl, Miming is like exercise, you only have to do it for a little while each day. Maybe three hours and I'd be all set for today."

"Well when do you start?" Caramel asked, and Mint answered with a smile, and drew her fingers across her mouth. Caramel took the hint, and they headed out on their own to stake out. This left Flaky all alone, and despite the dangers, following them was much more appealing than sitting alone in a cabin. She glanced around a few seconds, and sighed, realizing it was her only option at this point, and shuffled her feet behind Caramel and Mint.

….

"So, do you really think Meth went down here, to the shore?" Tyler asked Chunky, who seemed much more preoccupied with something else, and took him a few minutes to respond.

"Meth? Of course he didn't, but I'm not following him." He turned back to watching the beach from a couple yards away. There was another group there, being instructed by Russell before they began rowing out across the lake and back.

"Well, if we're not following him, who are we following?" Tyler asked again, a little frustrated.

"What does it matter!" Chunky seemed annoyed, but Tyler could tell it was embarrassment, "I'm looking for someone, and I didn't invite you!"

Tyler was a bit shocked, but Chunky was still keeping his eyes focused on the shore, so he decided to line his sight up with the Koala's, and almost bust a rib laughing when he figured it out. But, he kept quiet, waiting for the right moment, as Chunky continued to watch.

Across the way, who else but Petunia was at the back of her group, and he was quite clearly checking her out. He waited, as the Sugar Maple cabin listened intently to Russell, as he stood on the steps of the boating house.

"Now, children, I be Russell, your boating instructarrr. And on movie nights, I'll be running the projectarrrr." There was an audible groan from the group, and Russell laughed a bit at this own joke before continuing, "And speaking of which, we take movie suggestions, but only PG. Nothing arrrrrr."

He ducked a shell tossed in his direction, and laughed a bit more, before doing a quick head count on the cabin, "Hmm, looks like we've got an odd number, so someone's gonna have to ride with Counselor Disco today."

Everyone cringed at the thought, and the girls quickly paired up, to avoid a boat ride filled with wandering hands and one-liners. Lammy and Frost, Brooke and Giggles, which left only Petunia. The groups began jumping in their canoes, and Disco pushed theirs into the water, with a saucy wink that made the poor skunk shiver. But, an answer to her prayers suddenly called from somewhere.

"Hey Petunia!" It was Tyler, but, thinking quickly, he leapt behind a bush, leaving the confused and startled Koala standing alone. He wandered up to Petunia, and scratched the back of his neck nervously. She suddenly became upset, and crossed her arms in a huff,

"What are you doing here Chunky, aren't you supposed to be with your cabin?"

"I, er.." Her gaze was starting to make his skin itch, "Well, my cabin leader needed to do something and he left us alone, so I figured,"

"What, you'd come and hit on me? Chunky Koala you know good and well we broke up a month ago, you had your chance."

"But..but.. why?"

"Because, Chunky, when you're in love, you feel it. And lately, I haven't felt anything from you." She stated, plainly.

Chunky's Glasses slumped low, and nearly fell off his face as he stood there, shaking, "I'm.. sorry. Can I still be your boat partner?"

She sighed, and allowed herself a smile, "Yes Chunky, you can be."

Petunia took a seat on one end of the small rowboat, and Chunky began pushing it out into the water, where they began to drift. No one else was going too quickly, so they were able to drift a while, and make some small talk, which Petunia had to initiate herself,

"So, I really hope you don't think I'm being mean, do you?" She asked, but all Chunk could manage was a head shake,

"It's only because I don't want to string you along, you understand? I mean, you're cute and al, but…"

"But what?" Chunky spoke up, and Petunia was a little surprised,

"But, I don't think either of us were really in love. That's all."

He suddenly became flustered, "Is it because I wasn't showing it enough? I am in love!" Something inside of him made him grab their paddles, and start rowing faster.

"Chunky, please, calm down!" The boat was shaking back and forth, and even stirring up some waves in the calm lake. But Chunky only peddled faster,

"Petunia! I love you and I'll take you all across this lake and back to prove it!" His flabby arms were generating tremendous power and the boat looked as though it had a motor in the back of it, instead of an overweight, love-lorn koala. Petunia screamed, and before Chunky realized what was going on, the boat hit a small patch of land and flipped straight over, knocking him momentarily senseless.

…

"This is agent Carameldansen calling agent Peppermint, do you copy agent Peppermint?" Caramel, who was huddled in a bush with her bright purple tail sticking out, was trying her best to imitate a commando, as they trailed Meth. Or, as they tried to trail Meth, in all honesty they hadn't seen him since they started. Mint, whom she'd been calling to through a tin can and some string, poked her head out a nearby bush, and nodded.

"Roger Dodger agent Peppermint. Agent Cornflakes, do you have visual on the target?" She pressed an ear to the can and waited for Flaky's response.

"I really hate that codename Caramel. But, no I didn't see him. Sniffles is here though."

"He is? what's he doing?"

"I'm not sure, he's in an awful hurry though, and he's carrying a flask of something, don't think he realizes he's spilling it all over the ground."

Caramel jumped out of her hiding spot and shouted, "Consarn it, woman! Follow that trail before it gets cold! We need to find out where he's getting these chemical weapons! We'll be right over, where's your co-ordinates?"

Flaky immediately surfaced from a shrub right behind her, "Um, agent Carameldansen, you don't have to yell, I'm right here. We could only find ten feet of string, remember?"

Caramel did a double take, and then Mint surfaced from another bush nearby, waving. Caramel sighed, and motioned for the two to follow her.

Whatever Sniffles was carrying, it was some odd liquid, that seemed brownish red, almost like blood, and had a swirling air about it, something intoxicating. The girls, Flaky most of all, were horrified at the thought of where this trail might lead, but they were far too involved to ever back down now. In fact, Caramel had made a blood truce before they all began, at which Flaky nearly passed out at the sight of.

Thankfully, the trail led only to a small sports shack, that, upon closer inspection, was being used as some sort of workshop. They should have known better, Sniffles must have just packed up some of his lab and brought it to camp! But, not wanting to waste the opportunity, they headed inside anyway, it was unlocked anyhow.

While Caramel toyed around with a few machines, and Flaky waited in the doorway(Far too nervous to enter of course) Mint, just for kicks, continued to follow the trail of whatever was spilled on the floor, to a large vat at the end of the shack. She sniffed the brew, a few heat lamps above it and a small open flame below it was keeping it warm, for one reason or another. It was almost intoxicating, the smell, and she simply had to figure out what it was, or die trying.

_Apple Cider!_

She had it! Sniffles was brewing the camp a big batch of apple cider, how wonderful! She noticed a few Styrofoam cups beside a coffee machine, and endeavored to taste a cup of it. She scooped up a nice helping of it and began gulping it down, it was even better than she thought; there must have been some secret ingredient. A clipboard was laying on the table, she surmised that the ingredients must be on there, and read it while helping herself to another cup. Her eyes widened in shock, and she dropped the cup, horrified. On the clipboard in bold print was

_**Test batch 27, Experimental Bat Poison**_

She recoiled in shock, and would have screamed, had she not remembered her training. Caramel rushed over, hearing the splash of 'Cider'

"What's wrong Mint? Wait a minute," She sniffed the air, "Cider! Oh man, that's what Sniffles was cooking up! Gimme some!" She grabbed a cup, and before Mint could stop her, downed the entire thing. Licking her chops, Caramel invited in Flaky to try a cup,

"C-cider? Are you sure it's not hard cider or something?" She shook as she took the Styrofoam cup.

"Oh liven up a little Flakes, it's fine! Me and Mint had a cup, right Mimey?"

Mint didn't respond, but it's not exactly for the reason you're thinking. In fact, it was because at the time, Mint began lifting off the ground, and her body was swelling up like a balloon. She inflated, rapidly, and soon was hitting the ceiling of the small shack, still unnoticed by her friends. Mint struggled, and wished she could break Mime oath, but couldn't find it in her.

Caramel soon gave up her search though, because she wasn't sure why, but she was incredibly hungry. She was just about to tell Flaky about it too, but she too had disappeared. So she shrugged her shoulders and headed out, she was far too hungry to worry about that now.

Of course, maybe if she looked down, she'd notice that Flaky had not disappeared, but instead had shrunk, to about the size of a playing card. Flaky took this sort of hard, perhaps even worse than you'd normally react, though, and slipped unconscious from fright.

Meanwhile, almost as soon as Caramel was out of earshot, headed towards the mess hall, Mint's over-inflated body burst out of the shack and began drifting skyward, a panicked little mint green dirigible, her body was so inflated her arms were mere nubs sticking out of a ripe blueberry-like body, and still she refused to open her mouth and scream for help.

….

Chunky, as he slowly regained consciousness, had only one thing on his mind; Petunia. Was she alright, was she hurt? He had no idea, but _he _certainly received a good knock on the skull. From what he had no idea, but it was heavy to say the least. He was wet, and he soon realized that there was no dry land to be found where they'd landed, it was a small island just barely under the water. He looked around, and much to his displeasure, Petunia was already up.

"Great job." She was mumbling, but he could easily hear her.

He stammered, before finding something to say "I'm, sorry I didn't mean,"

"Great freaking job Chunky." She stood up, "You somehow managed to paddle us about two miles into this lake, and now we have to wait for someone to come pick us up! The boat's wrecked, and I can't even see the other boats! What were you thinking?"

"I was just trying to impress you," She was about to scream again, but he cut her off, "Are you hurt? I mean, in the fall."

Petunia took a breath and calmed, at least a little, "No, no, I'm fine. Really. How about you?"

He rubbed his neck, it was aching like crazy, "I think I hit a rock or something, it's right here." He turned and tugged a little at the mud, before it dislodged itself from the muck. He normally wouldn't but considering he was already covered in dirt, he rubbed the stone a bit with his shirt.

"It's pretty smooth, and…"He caught a good look at it in the sunlight, and froze up, "Humina, humina, humina humina,…."

"Chunky?" He didn't stop stammering, "Chunky what's wrong?"

She came in close and got a good look at what he was holding, and two golden eyes shined back at her with a glimmering scowl. It was the Idol, the same god forsaken cursed Idol that caused the curse! Chunky, in a panic, threw the gold Idol across the small patch of earth, where it landed in the mud away from them, touching it, even being near it meant death. Petunia still didn't understand how it was possible, but did what she could, turned and screamed

"HELP! Someone help!" She waved her hands wildly, trying to signal someone, anyone. Chunky stood and did the same, and soon they were both screaming across the lake, but they could still see no one, no boats, nothing…

….

Mint still drifted, lazily, across the skyline, praying at the same time to come back to earth, and to not have to fall. It was really a tossup at this point, whether she'd fall to her death or drift to close to the sun and die, or even pop. She wasn't expecting what she heard though, a she drifted over the lake. People were crying out, screaming desperately for help!

She cursed how useless she was, with her stupid vow of silence she couldn't even open her mouth and let some of this air out to drift down. If only she could talk, if only she wasn't,

_A mime! _It hit her suddenly, she could save them! And herself!

The little girl concentrated, and hiked up her hands, or what she could with her enormous stature, and began to twirl her wrists like a lasso. She flung the imaginary snare out, and it caught tight on a stick caught in Chunky and Petunia's mud island. Mint mustered every ounce of her strength, and pulled herself inward, until she was just floating above the mud. The two were dumbstruck, but Chunk at least, wasn't going to argue logistics now, and grabbed onto Mint's stubby leg.

"What are you doing?" Petunia thought he was crazy.

"It's either we take a chance with balloon girl here or the Idol, take your pick!" Mint extended a leg towards Petunia, and she awkwardly grabbed hold. Mint, realizing now was their chance, let go, and began drifting upwards. Petunia suddenly became aware of how horrifying and risky this was all at once, and began sweating furiously. As they drifted higher and higher, she felt her grip weakening, and her fingers began to slide off of Mint's little leg. She wanted to scream, but it wasn't even a possibility, she couldn't afford to try.

In an instant, her hand slipped off, and all Petunia could do was scream. But, she wasn't falling, something was holding onto her. She risked a look upwards, it was Chunky, holding her wrist with both hands, and somehow managing to hold onto Mint with his feet.

"Chunky!" She was yelling, probably from the vertigo and inertia, "How are you doing that?"

He yelled back, "I'm a koala, remember?"

Just then, Mint began to lose altitude, as if whatever propelled her in the first place was wearing off. The slowly descended into a clearing by the shore, only a little ways off from the camp. Chunky set Petunia down, both of them quite honestly breathless with what had happened. Chunky, panting, turned to Mint with a bright smile,

"Where'd you learn to do that anyway?"

Mint's left eye twitched, before she finally let out a groan and fell unconscious, the entire ordeal was just a bit too much for her. Petunia was a little worried about her, but seemed more interested in Chunky.

"So, I suppose you'd better take her back to her cabin, huh?"

"Oh," He was still nervous around her, "Yeah, I suppose so."

"Hmm," She paused, and he hinged on her next words, "Suppose you should take me back too."

His face lit up like a light, "Really? I can?"

"Down boy, sit." She giggled, and started off towards her cabin, calling over her shoulder. "And F.Y.I, we're still broken up!"

Chunky shook his head, a playful smile drawn across his face. He carefully scooped up Mint and slung her over his shoulder, before following after.

…

Back in that same, lonely shed where Sniffles had been brewing his "Cider", Flaky was still unconscious, still the size of a playing card, and laying there, alone. That is, until someone scooped her up in one large hand, and carried her away, as if they had known she'd be there.

* * *

Now that was a helluva chapter! Now, I suppose the next campers up will be Oak! Stay tuned and stay fabulous! Now Tostrwafflz(Or however you spell that) I didn't respond to your earlier question because, honestly, I had no way TO respond, I couldn't send a PM to an anonymous review. PM me with your OC, we'll see if we can't make something happen.

Oh, and if you have any questions, feel free to toss them out there. This is gonna be a tangled web, conspiracy is half the fun!


	5. Earthward Bound

**Author's Note**

Sorry about the wait, I was in Salem, Massachusetts for the weekend. My cousin's got married and she's kind of a Goth, so yeah. The invite even came with a finger in a box….

I figure now that I have to kind of devote some set time for this story, since so many people are following it. How's every Monday and Wednesday sound? Maybe Friday too if I can manage.

Any hoo…

**Happy Tree Camp!**

"_Earthward Bound"_

_Starring  
Mime  
And  
The Oak Cabin!_

It was just around sunset of that same day, the other cabins had a relatively easy day. The rest of the Sugar Maple Cabin had a nice time boating, and got to giggle when Chunky brought Petunia back, with an unconscious Mint clinging to him. Aside from being driven into the ground by Flippy's extreme workouts, the Evergreen Cabin was also fine, for the most part. An Oak Cabin was having a routine day, a good game of baseball on the fields, and then a brief hike up part of Mt. Montijo, before returning to the cabin after a long day, washing up and having a dinner at the mess hall. Then they would go to bed, and enjoy a restful night's sleep.

But they never did, thanks to Cuddles' curiosity, and an announcement that went out over the PA system that night.

"Attention campers, attention campers! It's time for… I mean, this is Pop, your headmaster, with an important announcement. Just recently, someone has broken into Sniffles' workshop on the east end of camp. I have no problem reminding you that the workshop is a dangerous place to be, and such activities are frowned upon. I also regret to report two campers, Caramel and Flaky, have not been seen since this morning, and are presumed to have been the ones who broke into the workshop. If you have any information pertaining to them, please report immediately to me, or another counselor.

"This has been your headmaster, reminding you to stay indoors after curfew. 9 PM sharp."

Most of the other campers in the cabin barely noticed the message, save for Cuddles, who had his ear pressed to the screen of the cabin door the entire time. He then ran up to Mime, who was trying to get everyone ready for bed, and tugged his sleeve,

"Mime, did you hear that?" His only response was a head shake, "Well, Flaky and Caramel have gone missing!"

Mime suddenly looked very shocked, though it was hard to tell if he really was that surprised. He over did facial expressions a lot, probably to compensate for his lack of words.

Maria, a panther whom not a lot of the friends knew before, heard Cuddles and had to ask, "Wait, campers are going missing? Who?"

"Caramel and Flaky, two younger girls," Ollie, a raccoon Cuddles knew from the school's track team interjected, "I sure hope they're okay."

Cuddles gave Toothy a look, which the beaver immediately recognized, and became frightened at the thought. While Toothy stood there shaking, Cuddles reached under his bunk and pulled out a large duffle bag that held his entire supply for the weekend. From it, he pulled a red baseball cap and the official "Sandman" baseball bat he had got at the last "Badlands Brawlers" game. Lifander groaned,

"Please tell me you're not actually going to,"

"Go out and save them, duh!" Cuddles replied, gregarious as ever. The Ollie and Maria seemed thrilled, though Toothy considerably less so.

"Are you insane? Why do you think a group of children would ever stand a chance at finding a two lost girls in the woods, at night none the less!"

"What, and leave Flaky behind? She's a special girl Tooth, I'm sure you know that." Cuddles laughed a little, wagging a finger at his friend.

"But, but…" Toothy was losing his fight to stay in bed, and he knew it, "We're not even dressed to go out, we're still in our pajamas!"

Toothy was right, though. Cuddles was only dressed in some blue striped boxers, Lifander was wearing only a bathrobe, Maria still had her cuddly pug slippers on, and Ollie was wearing only an oversized basketball jersey.

Of course, Cuddles wasn't listening, in fact, he was headed out the door with the other two.. Toothy gave a hefty sigh, and followed his friend, just like he knew he always would. Lifander, however, would have no part in it. He found Mime, who had tried to hide under his covers at the mention of the outing.

"Well, are you just going to let them go?" Lifander shoved Mime's shoulder, but he wouldn't budge. The deer only laid in bed, making exaggerated sleeping breaths, which, given that he was a mime, was even less convincing without sound. The rest of the campers were gone too, so, without any option, Lifander adjusted his glasses and leapt out the door, skipping the steps, and shuffled his way towards the nearest signpost.

"Left wing… Supply cabinet, access for camp staff only." He was muttering to himself, reading the directions and grinding the gears in his head, before a smile cracked his icy demeanor, "Well then, if Caramel and Flaky could break into a camp facility I shouldn't expect much…"

He started whistling to himself, an-off key "Campton Ladies" and went off in the exact opposite, if he was thinking correctly, direction that the others went.

….

"So, what's with that bright red baseball cap?" Maria finally asked Cuddles, as they hiked through the darkened woods. He laughed,

"No way, this isn't a baseball cap," He took it off to examine it better, "A baseball cap's for hitting baseballs. Mine's a people hitting cap." Maria only shook her head, and followed a bit closer. They had gotten pretty deep, and the thick foliage obscured any light from their trail. It was true that they really didn't know where they were going, but everyone(Save for Toothy) thought it was exhilarating.

Ollie kept a brisk pace ahead of the others, with a small flashlight in hand, with a neat little cord that kept it wrapped around her wrist when she decided to bound up a tree to get a better view. She had just cleared the threshold of leaves that darkened most of the woods, when she caught a glimpse of something off in the horizon. If she wasn't insane, that is.

"Hey!" She snatched a hold of a branch and leapt off it, sliding down a younger tree behind her. The others were waiting, having heard her,

"What did you see? Flakes or Caramel out there?" Cuddles asked, he was leaning on the baseball bat from sheer fatigue, they had been out in the woods for at least an hour and a half.

"Even better!" She sounded very excited for someone who had been running for so long, "Follow me guys! You've got to see this!" She said, before darting off in a specific direction. Cuddles picked up his pace, and Maria jumped along after him, leaving Toothy momentarily alone. Until, of course, he realized this, and redoubled his efforts to keep up.

Within minutes, they passed into something incredible, honestly you'd have to see it to believe it. Even Ollie slowed down, gazing up at tree branches that hung above them. You must have guessed by now, though, that this was no ordinary grove of trees.

Above all, these trees glinted and shined blue, a brilliant blue hue that perfectly exemplified the phrase "Once in a Blue moon". And each one was spread wide, its branches stuck out like a mushroom cap, intertwined with the others surrounding it, creating a netting of foliage above them. Vines, as thick as rope hung down from the 'bove, and each one was lined with some fruit, apples they seemed to be, though no apple tree resembled these.

"Where are we?" Toothy whispered. But, the whole awe that washed over him prevented him from talking audibly.

They kept onward, more entranced every minute that they walked, until they almost fell into a crater that inexplicably cropped up. It was so strange, the crater, because the trees around it were still growing tall, as if chunk of rock that struck the ground was there before the forest. They all looked about each other, before silently agreeing that Cuddles should test the moon rock that lay in the center of the small indent that they had stumbled upon.

He slowly approached it, earnestly frightened, before probing it with the handle of his bat. A side of it collapsed, and he jumped back, as glint of yellow light erupted from inside it. He was so afraid he swore the light was burning his skin, but he felt nothing. And, slowly, something he could barely see drifted out from inside the rock, a faint buzzing in the air being its most pronounced feature. And then, it spoke to Cuddles, which was odd, because he couldn't imagine being able to hear something that small as well as he did. That was when he realized it was speaking into his mind.

"Hello, chosen one…" It had a drifting voice, and almost sounded like an alien from a bad sci-fi movie. But it was certainly speaking to him.

"What are you? Some gnat, or fly?" he looked a bit crazy to the rest, he was speaking to thin air.

"I'm no fly…" It was constantly drifting off in its sentences, " I am Buzz Buzz, an intergalactic being… sent here to find the chosen one… the one who will defeat the alien menace from space… The evil Giygas…."

"I'm the chosen one?"

"Certainly…" Buzz Buzz spoke to his mind again, "I have come from the future to guarantee your safety… On your journey you will encounter three friends, two boys and one girl…"

Buzz Buzz paused, and then swiftly flew around Cuddles' head, and then around the others. He circled Ollie, Toothy and Maria's heads, Maria almost squashing him, before he flew back to Cuddles.

"This is… odd…"

"What?"

"You've already found your friends… and they are the wrong sort…." The strange alien flew around, contemplating something, before responding, "It is of no matter, I suppose…. Come with me chosen one. You and your friends must face this first trial…."

Buzz Buzz flew off, darting ahead of them, and Cuddles followed, leaving the rest of his friends confused.

"Where are you going nut job?" Ollie shouted after him, before breaking into a sprint as well. Maria and Toothy exchanged glances too, before following suit.

The alien led Cuddles to a small cavern, barely noticeable, the entire thing must have been contained in the woods, because even Ollie hadn't seen it when she climbed up earlier to have a better view. Speaking of the raccoon, she was close behind Cuddles, and tapped him on the shoulder the moment she had the chance.

"Would you mind telling me what you think you're doing?" She was clearly aggravated with him, she almost reminded him of Giggles, "We're trying to find Caramel and Flaky, remember?"

"I know, but just level with me," He stepped aside so she could see Buzz Buzz, "this alien fly thing told me I'm some kind of chosen one, and you guys are supposed to help me face the trial in this cavern!"

At this point, Toothy and Maria had caught up, just in time to hear Cuddles' "Explanation". All three had just about the same opinion of Cuddles' at this point, and would have knocked him unconscious and dragged him back to camp, had it not been for Buzz Buzz's intervention.

"I'm afraid he's right… you're destined to save the world from a great evil…"

"EEK!" Ollie nearly fell over, "Did, did that fly just talk?"

"I told you, I am no fly…." Buzz Buzz was speaking to all of them now, a mass mind broadcast, "Be ready… the ant approaches…"

But Ollie had had enough, "Okay, cut it out now Cuddles! I'm supposed to believe that a fly is gonna make you the savior of the world? And he wants us to kill an ant? I'm tempted just to squash the darn ant so you'll stop screwing around!"

She shooed Buzz Buzz away from the cave entrance, and stood in front of it herself, "Nobody's going anywhere, this is gonna get us killed. Besides, this glowing forest, a talking fly, this is all too much! We're gonna turn around right now and…" She paused, because everyone suddenly looked very shocked. Before she could turn around, something dropped on her head, something like water… but warmer….

Ollie snapped her head around, and leapt back in horror at what was standing behind her. A giant ant, with a pale white carapace and soulless eyes stood, on its hind legs no less, a towering six foot tall monstrosity. Mucus-like drool poured out of its mouth, and every second it twitched its limbs made a cacophony of noises, comparable to shattering bones.

In an instant, it snatched up the stunned raccoon and gargled a twisted scream at her, leaving the poor girl a trembling mess, tears and the beast's saliva running down her face. No one else knew what to do, as it slowly raised her to its gaping maw, each second ticked down what little time Ollie had before it snapped those ridged, serrated jaws down on her skull like a bear trap.

Cuddles looked around, Maria was trying to pelt it with rocks, to no avail, Buzz Buzz was throwing itself against the thing, also seemingly futile. And Toothy, he'd fallen to his knees, praying and sobbing at once. Cuddles knew nothing else but fear, and in a frenzy ran up to the Ant and bashed its knees, over and over again with his bat. But even with the shattering that accompanied each blow, he wasn't stopping it, and the Ant finally lashed out, knocking him flat against a tree.

His vision was blurred, and he couldn't feel his legs, but with whatever strength he had left, Cuddles tried to pull himself towards the Ant, and towards Ollie.

But it was worthless, his arms fell down in front of him as his vision faded.

_**BANG!**_

Something, something big. Cuddles managed to hoist his body up again, but he couldn't believe his eyes. Streaks of red, white and blue smoke raced across the sky, bottle rockets, still whizzing, jammed into the creature at incredible speeds. It shrieked in pain, dropping Ollie, before stumbling backwards, into the cavern, but still very visible, as it caught fire. Even more rockets arced through the trees, impacting deep into the Ant, before one of them finally triggered, and blew the beast to a pulp in a shower of gore and sparks.

Cuddles found his strength again, and managed to lift himself up just in time to find Lifander, holding a small stick, the end of which was still blazing.

"Lifander, why in the world did you…"

He gave an almost out of character smile, Lifander, "Well, I wasn't sure what we'd run into, I'd heard stories. So what if the camp is down a few fireworks?"

"Hey guys!" It was Maria, she went to check on Ollie the moment the Ant dropped her, "Ollie's fine! I think she passed out though, we might need to carry her!"

Before Cuddles could speak, Buzz Buzz appeared before him again, "Before you leave.. use your Sound Stone to record the essence of these woods… Ness…"

"Wait, what did you call me?" Cuddles removed his baseball cap to scratch his head in confusion, " And I don't have a sound stone, whatever that is."

The alien stopped circling them as if in great shock, "Are those… rabbit ears?" Without his baseball cap, Cuddles' floppy ears were fully exposed.

"Yeah, I am a bunny after all." Cuddles thought the fact he could be anything else was a little silly.

"I.. have made a great mistake… You are not the savior…. I must have…. Dimension jumped…." Buzz Buzz's wings began to heat harder, nervously, "I regret to say.. all this was for…. Nothing…."

The group eyed Fly, then each other, for only a moment though. And a few minutes later, Cuddles was scraping the remains of a small bug off his bat, Lifander was carrying Ollie with Maria close behind, and Toothy was shamefully wiping the beaver urine off his legs, from the "Excitement" of the whole event.

Needless to say, they were all ready to go back to camp.

….

"I don't want guesses, I don't want estimates. Tell me exactly what this cider does Sniffles, and tell me soon," Pop had never sounded more intimidating in his life, taking puffs of his cherry wood pipe and rattling his fingers on the desk. Sniffles was more than a little nervous.

"Well sir," He sputtered as she spoke, "As you know, the apples have a strange effect, the ones from the blue tree? We thought it was poison, from the Bat's reaction when one of the other researchers tossed an apple at it."

"What happened to that particular researcher again?" Pop interrupted.

"He, erm, died sir, from blood loss. I was the only one who made it out." Pop nodded, and Sniffles continued, "But from what I've gathered, the apples have strange effects based on the species. Mint, the cat, she inflated like a balloon sir, and we still don't know what happened to the porcupine and raccoon that sampled the 'cider' I had brewed…"

"We should find out. And what effect it has on Hyenas, Koalas, Moose, Skunks, Bears, Polecats, Rabbits, and Anteaters." Pop said, grimly. Sniffles swallowed the lump in his throat and continued,

"But sir, we've already lost so many men to the bat, and you said the children were only a front, they wouldn't be hurt!"

Pop's took on a disgusted look, "Do I look like I care? We hold the key Sniffles, we could break the curse forever! No more freak deaths, only natural passing on. Permanent passing on. We could save everyone."

"But sir, how many people have to die permanently for your dream of normal life?"

"You seem to forget, Sniffles," Pop took a strong drag from his pipe before continuing, exhaling thick smoke as he spoke, "you're speaking to a man who lost his wife for this very same goal."

….

Over the guts, gristle and gore that lined the small rock chamber floor, a little rabbit skipped, hopped and jumped out. The moonlight was bright, brighter than she was used to. Freedom was going to be nice for her, she decided. She brushed off her gingham dress, and hopped out to the blue forest, singing a little as she went.

Won't it be great when Phoenix sees her again?

* * *

My, what a tangled knot we've got here. Lovely, isn't it?

I suppose next time we'll be looking in on the Sugar Maple Cabin! Though, I still feel like some loose threads are still hanging about…

And I wonder if anyone got the reference, zip, boing? Ah well, sproing!

This is Mr. Phoenix, Signing out! boing!


	6. Disco Blues, Or Flakin' Out!

**Author's Note**

Dang it, why did I pick such an ambitious release schedule?

Jeez… Back to work….

**Happy Tree Camp!**

"_Disco Blues" Or "Flakin' Out"_

_Starring  
Disco Bear_

_And the Sugar Maple Cabin!_

_Also Featuring_  
_Flaky_  
_And_  
_?  
_

Despite some odd happenings about the camp, some few were managing to enjoy themselves. Sugar Maple cabin had a nice day in the sun as well, and a restful night, for the most part. Not everything was going as smoothly as Disco Bear had hoped, but I'm sure you'd expect that, what with him leading a cabin full of women.

At this moment, in fact, he was climbing out of his bunk, on a bright morning, with the birds chirping in his ears and the rising sun lightly kissing his face. As he pulled the silk mask off his eyes gently, he realized the reason he felt so at one with nature, was that his bunk had been pushed out of the cabin.

Disco leapt out of bed, adjusted his leopard print pajamas to be as modest as he could, and pounded on the screen door of the Sugar Maple Cabin, furiously. He was waiting so long for someone to answer he'd even started to count the hits on the door, before Petunia opened, taking care to not let him inside.

"What is it, David Coppafeel?" She was smug, and it was her tone that tipped Disco off.

"What is it? I should be asking you the same thing!" He was almost ready to hit something, "What's the big idea, locking me out?"

Petunia smiled, before stating, very matter-of-factly, "Well, Mr. Counselor, we're staging a mutiny."

"What? Give me one good reason!"

"Over the course of the last day, you" Petunia had it memorized, it seemed, "made no less than three-thousand-eight hundred-and nine inappropriate jokes and comments, which can be mistaken for sexual harassment,"

"Now wait a minute," Disco tried in vain to stop her,

"In addition you looked at Lammy and Giggles' 'Bikini Areas' for ten seconds beyond the legal limit. And as I recall you slapped by butt before you went to bed."

"I didn't mean,"

"Save it, , for my attourney, Ms. Von Karma." She said, before slamming the door shut. Disco Bear stood, awestruck, before looking even more shocked. He banged on the door again, more urgently this time. But the door remained shut, and finally he just shouted,

"Wait, Von Karma? Is she the one with,"

The door abruptly opened, and Petunia peeked out, "The one with the whip? Yes she is." And the door slammed shut as quickly as it opened, leaving Disco alone. With a heavy sigh, he walked off, not entirely sure himself where he'd go.

…

You know, it's honestly amazing what a woman's touch can do. Take the Sugar Maple Cabin for instance. It was just as well equipped as the other cabins, just enough bunks, a few dressers and nothing else. After the first night the "Sugar Girls" had spent in it, the small room was fully carpeted, and the blinds had been reinforced to grant the girls peace of mind while they changed. It even had a space heater, a larger ceiling lamp, and a bureau with a large mirror where Disco's bunk had been.

"Do you think we were too hard on him?" Lammy asked, as she grabbed another tube of hair dye, lathering it into her friend's fur.

Giggles, who was browsing a fashion magazine, called back from across the room, "Nah, we just need to let him know that there's a line, and he won't go crossing it again after today."

Petunia, painting her nails, added in, "You should have seen the look on his face when I mentioned the lawyer, priceless! Anyway, Blade, you still have to answer the question!"

All eyes in the room shifted to Blade, who was sheepishly holding her pillow, blushed, "I don't have to answer, not all of you did!"

Giggles tossed her magazine aside and wagged her finger at her, "Uh-uh, we most certainly did. Everyone knows I've got a thing for Cuddles."

"And it's no secret me and Slick are an item!" Lammy chimed in, pulling the curler off her friend, who just happened to be the only boy present, Frost. Why he let Lammy pull some morning experiments on his hair was anyone's guess.

"I suppose everyone already knows about Flurry…" Frost said, as Lammy washed the blue dye and hair gel she had just put in, to get it ready for some new experiment.

"But.." Blade was cornered, almost, "But Petunia didn't answer! I don't have to tell you who I like until Petunia does." Everyone looked to Petunia, even Frost spun his chair around to see her response.

Petunia sat for a moment, her eyes darting back and forth, until she realized there was no way out, "I, um, don't like anyone. I just broke up with Chunky, remember?"

"Oh really?" Giggles was chiding her, "Then why was he walking you back to the cabin, hmm?"

The other girls broke into uproarious laughter, and Petunia blushed so hard her fur nearly turned a permanent shade of purple. The only thing that broke up the laughter was the ominous growling of Frost's stomach.

"Hey guys, can we get breakfast now? I mean, Mumbo said last night it would be crepes…"

"Oh!" Lammy nearly dropped her curling iron, "I remember that! I loooove crepes, let's go! Let's go!"

She was almost out the door, before Frost reminded her she needed to wash the hot pink dye out of his fur, and to turn off the curling iron before the cabin caught fire. The girls, with Frost in tow, headed out, without a glimpse of Disco Bear on their way over. Some of them were worried they were a bit hard on him, but the thought was mostly eclipsed by the thought of Mumbo making crepes for the morning's breakfast, they'd have to hurry or there would be none left.

….

"Mama's little baby loves shortin', shortin'. Mama's little baby loves shortin' bread.." Mumbo, at work cooking up a giant batch of crepes for the campers, couldn't help but sing a little, as he darted back and forth in the kitchen. He was almost finished, and ready to open his doors to the campers, when Sniffles entered through the back door, a clipboard in hand.

"Well what do I owe this visit from the local boy genius?" Mumbo laughed, tipping his chef's hat to Sniffles.

"I was just checking in to make sure breakfast went okay. And to see if you've seen Caramel or Flaky, they're still missing from yesterday." The anteater replied, hiding the worry in his voice well.

"Can't say that I have Sniffs, but breakfast is almost ready," He pointed to the platter of thin, crispy, and piping hot crepes he'd laid out on a large platter, each plate was topped with a couple, and even had some grape jelly on the side, "All I need now, is the vanilla ice cream."

The crocodile slid past Sniffles, and to a large freezer on one end of the kitchen. He gripped the icy latch on it, and swung the metal door open, and much to both of their surprise, it was blocked, by a purple blob. Before Mumbo or Sniffles could react, a bulbous balloon of purple fur rolled out and nearly rolled over them.

"Hey guys!"

They looked up in horror, a tiny, pudgy face was sticking out of the blob. It was Caramel, or at least looked like Caramel. She was taller than Mumbo, and wider than an elephant, with layers of flab hanging off, and her red Muumuu was covered in crumbs and various food stains.

"Caramel?" Sniffles cautiously approached, "Is that you?"

"Of course it is silly!" She laughed, her layers of flab jiggling like jelly.

"What did you eat?" Sniffles was flabbergasted, but Caramel didn't seem to surprised.

"Oh some roast beef, some chicken, a pizza.." She listed half the pantry and all the ice cream on camp before she was finished, "Say, do you think you can grab me some more of that cider you made Sniffles? It'd really hit the spot right now…"

"Cider? What, oh god!" Sniffles ran to the first aid kit across the kitchen and pulled a small stethoscope from it, before slapping it against Caramel's jiggly belly. He listened to her stomach churn and gurgle for a moment, before coming to a startling conclusion. He ran over to Mumbo,

"Mumbo! We need to get out of here!"

"What's the diagnosis doc?" Mumbo seemed very casual, considering the situation.

"The cider I was brewing from the apples in the forest has had some very odd effects on its drinkers. When Caramel drank it, it seemed to have sped her digestive system, leading her to triple, no, quadruple digest her food, leaving nothing in her stomach but gas!"

Mumbo was still unconvinced, "Dumb it down a bit for me."

Sniffles groaned, "She's not full of food, she's full of gas and she's gonna blow any minute!"

Mumbo only stared.

"She's a human gas bag! She's like a skunk with IBS! She's gotta blow some serious tailwind! Do you understand now?"

Mumbo chuckled, "I understood the first time, I was just wondering how far you'd go."

Sniffles grabbed Mumbo's hand and yanked him out of the kitchen, running through the mess hall, and shouting up a storm to let everyone else know what was going on. Soon, everyone was stampeding to get out of the mess hall, nearly trampling each other, horrified at what might happen if they were stuck in the same room as the erupting "Mt. Caramel".

Leaving only Caramel, the bloated thing, to herself in the kitchen.

"Guys? Anyone there? Why'd everyone run?" She glanced around for a moment, before feeling a clenching pain in her gut. She groaned, and her belly gurgled and….

It happened. Exactly what you're thinking. From the outside the mess hall it was as if three hundred Tuba players blasted one note simultaneously. It blew the windows off the place, and within moments the place was flooded with a fog as thick as pea soup(With a similar color). What was remarkable, was that the gas was still hanging in the air around the mess hall, even ten minutes later when Caramel, now her normal size, staggered out, dizzy on her own fumes.

The importance of this, however, is that the Sugar Maple Cabin arrived late to this event, and were the last to know that breakfast was canceled, and so they were headed back to their cabin, taking the long route just for kicks, and arrived at just the right place at just the right time to see something incredible.

…

So, since he was down on his luck, and thrown out of his own place of authority, Disco Bear sat, glumly, on the shore of the lake, skipping stones across the lake and taking quick shots from a little bottle of gin he'd brought with him, in case of emergencies.

"What happened to you D.B?" He was talking to himself, almost yelling at himself, "You were all about the girls! You were a chivalrous guy, not some creepy old pervert. Holding doors open, giving them a shoulder to cry on. Where'd you go wrong?"

He gulped back another mouthful of gin, and when he tossed the empty bottle aside, he thought he saw something out in the lake. Something splashing up a storm. Disco didn't know what to do, but there was a small dock nearby. It was rotted, having not been used since the boathouse was installed further down, but it was his only hope. He sprinted out to it, and stood out on the furthest planks to get a better look.

Someone was out there, struggling. He looked back and forth, no one was near the lake, nobody had even taken their cabins out swimming yet, and it was too early for anyone to be boating. He cursed under his breath, and started to undo his disco jumpsuit, but every time he looked out, whoever it was seemed to stay under a little bit longer.

Finally, he decided, "To hell with it" and leapt into the water, swimming like a madman nearly a mile fueled on adrenaline and desperation. But, when he arrived at the point, there was no one. He inhaled deeply to restore the breath he had lost on the way over, and dived. He could barely see her, a tiny rabbit, her feet caught in the weeds beneath the water. He tugged her free, and somehow managed to tuck her under his arm, and swim back.

The moment they touched the shore, he pushed her out in front of him on the sand, and he pressed his head on her chest.

She wasn't breathing. Disco cursed, loudly this time, and pounded the rabbit's stomach with his hands, forced her mouth open and tried exhaling into her lungs to get the water out of her. Finally, she coughed up a mouthful of gunky lake water into his mouth, and he accidentally swallowed. She was conscious though, barely, and he could hear her straining to talk.

"The 'ell did you do that for, numbnuts? I was almost at the idol…" She faded out, though, after that. The poor thing fell unconscious, the stress was too much. Disco let out a sigh of relief, before running his fingers through his hair. Sure, his prized afro was full of gunk and soaked through and through, but oddly enough, he didn't care all that much.

"That was amazing!" He turned, and much to his surprise, Lammy, and the entire Sugar Maple Cabin was standing up on a nearby hill. Disco gave a shy smile, and the girls ran down to him, and surprisingly enough, they wrapped their arms around the bear in a group hug.

"I can't believe you did that Disco," Petunia laughed, and Giggles added,

"We never would have guessed you were a hero!"

"Or that you knew CPR," Frost said. Disco cocked an eyebrow, almost surprised by what Frost said.

"The hell is CPR?" He asked, and the entire group let him go in disgust., "I was joking! Joking!"

The rabbit was admitted to the infirmary, in stable condition, though she didn't wake up until the next day. Disco, however, couldn't be happier, when he returned to his cabin to find his bunk was right back where it was before. The girls claimed that Frost did most of the heavy lifting, but it was a sweet gesture either way.

….

When Flaky finally awoke, she wasn't sure where she was. The first thing she noticed, was that she was still much smaller, which would have made her faint again, if she had the energy left in her to faint. The second thing she noticed almost gave her that energy, it was the gorilla, Phoenix, towering above her. She was placed on some kind of giant table, and he must have done it.

The thing opened its mouth, and she half-expected it to swallow her whole. But no, it did the last thing she guessed it would, it spoke.

"Hello Flaky." his voice was booming, like a god.

She screamed, before shouting back, "Who are you, and what do you want from me?"

Phoenix chuckled a bit, a lighthearted chuckle, not an evil or malicious one.

"Flaky, the first thing you need to do, is don't panic."

With a sharp _ding_, the words appeared behind him in a bright red neon sign.

_Don't panic!_

"How did you…" Flaky was more intrigued than scared.

"Do that?" A billow of smoke surrounded him, and suddenly he was her size, "Let's not beat around the bush Flaky. I'm an author. Not a normal book author, and author of worlds…"

He waved a hand, and a pristine scene of a bright, beautiful forest appeared before them. They were standing on a mountain, and Flaky suddenly realized that they were looking down on the same camp she was attending.

"Are you a god?" She asked, hoping he wouldn't answer. The scene slowly faded away, and Phoenix rubbed his chin, trying to decide on his answer.

"No, I am not. I can't change what's already there, but I can influence it. But it is true that I have PHENOMENAL COSMIC POWERS!" As he yelled that, Phoenix grew to the size of a mountain, and his voice echoed so deeply Flaky thought it was bouncing around in the chambers of her heart.

Of course, she, screamed, but when she opened her eyes, she was in a new environment. In fact, even she was changed. She was a baby now, diaper and all, in a small crib, surrounded by stuffed animals. One of which was merely Phoenix, in a bear suit.

"Now Flaky, I don't want you to interrupt me, so you can't." He was right, she was sucking on a pacifier and couldn't seem to spit it out, "Now I know you're wondering why I can do so much right now? Well that's because this is a dream. I told you can only influence things slightly. I can't control minds, only suggest, and I can't move things that weigh more than a few grams. But what I can do is put these things to work and create ideal situations for people like you. Why? Because it's fun."

The scene swirled around them again, and they were back in some kind of inky darkness, and even though she was fully grown, Flaky was still wearing a diaper and the pacifier stuck in her mouth. Phoenix turned around and began walking away, and Flaky tried to follow him, but her feet wouldn't move.

"Why am I speaking to you Flaky? Because you're too timid," Even as we walked away, his voice was clear, "There's going to be some trials ahead, difficult trials, and I want to assure you you'll be safe. You're not the chosen one, but you'll have to help a little. It's not in my plot for you to die, so relax. You're going to wake up in the infirmary, and we'll continue the adventure. Oh, and do me a favor, don't go telling people about what you know. Other Friends will just think you're crazy, but the other Author's will be very mad if they find out I broke code and waltzed into a story."

She tried to scream, and the pacifier fell out of her mouth at last, letting her shout. But it was to no avail, as thick purple smoke billowed out of the darkness, and she slowly drifted out of her dream world….

* * *

Is there a method to my madness? Perhaps everything that's gone on so far plays a role in a grander picture?

Also, cookies to those who find the references I've sprinkled through the chapters so far…


	7. Flippin' and Trippin'

**Author's Note**

Right on time, like the 10:15 express! Never thought I could do it, but I'm finally keeping a schedule!

So, I suppose THIS is the moment you've been waiting for, Pine Cabin, and everyone's favorite bear!

I can't help but wonder, have you people found every reference yet? Back in chapter one Pop made a literature reference, and Cuddles made another in chapter five. And you'd be hard pressed to miss the video game reference Petunia threw in the air last chapter. Keep your eyes peeled campers!

**Happy Tree Camp!**

_Flippin' and Trippin'_

_Starring Flippy  
& The Pine Cabin!_

_Also featuring Phoenix, Flaky, and ?_

…

When Flaky regained consciousness, it had been a whole day since Mint, Caramel and her had gone and tasted Sniffles' "Cider". She still had no idea what was in it, but when she saw Caramel, unconscious and reeking of sulfur, in the bed beside her she assumed it had some kind of effect on her as well. When she did wake up though, Sniffles had just arrived into the small medical house, with trays of food, dry cereal and some muffins, on a small cart.

"Good morning starry eyes," He laughed a little, placing a portion of food and some orange juice beside her, "If you're wondering you've only been out for a day. It's nearly noon, but lunch isn't happening today, Mess Hall's closed. So I brought you some food we had in dry storage, instead."

She blinked, her eyes a little sore, and took a muffin. "Why is the Mess Hall closed?"

"Ask your friend, little miss gasbag." Sniffles nodded towards Caramel, who, despite being unconscious, Flaky swore she saw her crack a smile at her mention, "So Flaky, Phoenix had found you out in the woods, said you were unconscious, and a bit smaller than you originally were."

"So that wasn't a dream?" She said, nibbling her muffin, "And you were brewing something weird in your little workshop!"

Sniffles almost dropped the tray of food. And he suddenly seemed nervous, "How is that any different than usual? I always do lab work." He laid some food by a bed, where someone else lay, Flaky couldn't see from her bed. He glanced around a bit, before deciding he should go, without even a backwards glance in Flaky's direction. He left the door open, though, almost as if he was planning to yell what he said next to her from outside.

"Dinner's not gonna be in the Mess Hall tonight, come by the boat house! And stay in bed!"

So Flaky sat, obediently eating her food, and staring around the room. She felt foolish of course, but she wasn't in the mood to anger anyone else, and end up an ant again, possibly under someone's shoe. She was there for a half an hour, occupying herself with reading a few magazines left beside her cot, when someone, the other patient stirred across the room, and then spoke to her.

"Hey, girly," The other patient sat up, throwing the covers from her face. It was a little white rabbit, certainly not someone that she'd seen before, "You gonna eat that banana-nut?"

Flaky was baffled at first, then noticed the muffin beside her cot. She almost tossed it over to the rabbit, before she realized something, "Who are you?"

The girl gave her a nasty glare, which was almost cute coming from someone so young, with such floppy rabbit ears, "Oh I get it, playing me are ya? Well I'll 'ave you know that kinda be'avior doesn't fly wit a girl like me. But, since it's a first time offense, I'll let it slide. Name's Pippy, a friend of your friend."

"Which friend? I don't suppose you'd know Cuddles, maybe. He's a popular guy,"

"Cor, yer an idiot." Pippy rolled her eyes, "The only guy who matters around here. Phoenix, the Aut'or."

Flaky was at once shocked, afraid, and a little angry. Apparently her 'dream' was closer to reality than she knew, and this Phoenix character had something to do with it.

"You know he's an Author?" She asked, and tossed the muffin over to the rabbit to keep her talking.

"Yeah, mystical properties and such," Pippy ate her muffin and talked, gobs of bananas and walnuts falling, half-chewed, from her mouth, "He's trying to keep me secret, and he told me never to touch the idol. But I want it. Why? I'm not sure, but if that jerk of a father kept me in a cave to keep me from it, it much be some choice stuff, eh girly?"

Flaky nodded, half confused from Pippy's dialect, and could barely understand the little girl with her mouth full. It took her a moment to realize, but this little rabbit would make Flaky very happy, as long as she kept her well fed. She normally wouldn't, but using the little one to find out more about this "Author" who had decided to use her, Flaky would need all the information that Pippy could offer.

….

The Pine cabin had assembled at Twelve-hundred hours, at Flippy's request, in a grassy field the bear had cut himself out of the forest, months in advance. You'd have to credit him, for the amount of effort that he put into it, with growing the grass, trimming it and the like. But, if you were a member of the Pine cabin, you would be much less eager to thank him, given that Flippy had also taken the time to build a Marine-quality obstacle course, which now loomed over the poor campers' heads.

They were lined up, all of them, for a lecture given by their "Drill Sergeant", Counselor Flippy. Actually, not all of them were lined up; in fact that's why they were there. A certain fox, Spades, was notably absent, which sent out Bi-polar veteran bear into a bit of a tirade.

"And, I assure you when our friend Spades returns there will be dire consequences, and this course will forever be etched into your mind. How, you may ask? Because you will be running it until you puke!"

Nutty's hand shot up, and he walked, marched would be a better word, over to her to answer her more personally.

"Yes, maggot?" He looked down on him, and he nervously responded.

"Uh, hehe, sir? What do you mean by, 'until we puke'?"

Flippy squinted, and glared so fiercely at the squirrel it was hard to tell if he'd flipped out or not.

"Until. You. Puke." He repeated, this time more forcefully. No one had any more questions, even Mae managed to swallow her pride and keep quiet.

It was at this, the most inopportune time, Spades sauntered up, a grin plastered across his face that was certain to infuriate Flippy, even more than his militant style of leadership required. And, to top things off, in one hand he held a steaming plate of the tastiest looking brownies you'd ever seen. And strangely enough, this unexpected treat seemed to distract Flippy, who broke character for the first time since they'd arrived at camp.

"Where'd you get brownies?" He asked, without a hit of military authority in his voice.

"Sir!" Spades held out the tray of brownies to the bear, playing this for all it was worth, "I baked them myself! I hope that accounts for my absence sir! I just wanted to thank you for the best training I've received in my life sir!"

Flippy beamed at the compliments, his hard shell was almost completely dissolved at the remarks, and he took a brownie gingerly,

"Why thank you Spades, I'd love one." He took a bite, and found they were twice as tasty as they looked, "My god, these are splendid! I mean, are those walnuts, and white chocolate chips? Spades you're quite the chef! Would anyone else like one?"

He held the tray out to Spades first, who politely declined, "I'd love to sir, but I don't want to get too full before the workout. Stay hungry, sir."

Flippy held the tray out to the others, but Spades walked behind their counselor, and shook his head, to say that these brownies were certainly nothing they'd want to eat. Despite this, Nutty reached for one, only to have Brook slap his wrist. Flippy only shrugged, and helped himself to another brownie, wiping the thick fudge off his mouth with his sleeve, hardly caring that the campers who previously saw him as an intimidating figure, were now looking down as he stuffed his face with brownies.

Brooke quickly pulled Spades aside, as Flippy hastily stuffed his face with more brownies,

"What the crap Spades, Are you poisoning Flippy?" She whispered.

"Nah, it's good. Trust me, I'm just relaxing him a bit," The other campers were starting to gather around him too, so he figured now would be a great time to elaborate his plan, "All right, let me start at the beginning, just so you understand what I'm doing."

…

Some time, shortly after Disco's heroic rescue of the drowning Rabbit, he was approached by Spades, who was looking a little ragged, to say the least. To say more, he was flat out run into the ground by his psychotic drill sergeant of a counselor.

"Dang, kool kat, what happened to you?"

"Disco, you've gotta help me," He was panting between every word, "Flippy's insane, we need something to get him off his drill sergeant kick."

"Sheesh, sorry pal. Nothing your buddy Disco can do for you, unless getting ol' flipster laid would calm him down. Because that's something Disco can do." He gave a double thumbs-up and a wink.

"Oh really?" Spades looked suddenly less tired, and more sly, "I think you've got just the recipe, for a certain instant relaxer. Something like, oh I don't know, 'Uncle Disco's Good Time Brownies?'"

Disco nearly had a heart attack, "How did you know about those? You gotta understand kool kat, Disco lived in a different time! A time when Mary Jane was a everybody's friend!"

"I don't care about it, I just want some to relax our buddy!" Spades smiled a sleazy smile that matched Disco's earlier grin, "Besides, you owe me for hiding your "Playsquirrel" collection when your mother came to visit."

"Those were collector's editions! And besides, even if I wanted to bake my brownies, the kitchen's been gassed out. No way, no how."

"Oh well," Spades shrugged and started the other way, "I suppose your mom will just have to find out about your collection the hard way…"

"No!" Disco fell to his knees, "Please don't tell Mamma! She'll never speak to me again."

Spades handed Disco a clothespin, and pointed him towards the Mess Hall,

"Then get cooking, kool kat."

….

"I have to admit, I'm impressed," Slick said, even managing to throw in a smile.

Brooke wasn't so amused though, "Where in god's name did you ever get such an idea?"

Spades chuckled, "Oh, my Uncle Sam used to be the same way, real crazed, until the doctor got him to mellow out with some 'medicinal herbs', worked like a charm!"

Mae, who had finally been able to light up a cigarette, now that Flippy had calmed out, cracked a smile, "You're shitting me, you had an Uncle Sam? Bull."

Meanwhile, Flippy, who had polished off the entire plate of brownies, was now enjoying a more, "beautiful" world. The grass beneath him, for starters, felt like denim pants, and the sky had a constant nagging odor of cotton candy that delighted and confused him. Everyone around him was talking in chimes, like little bells, and it made him giggle a little more, along with their glowing auras, which nearly made him lose his head laughing. But, something a little far off caught the bear's eyes, that the pinecones on a nearby tree looked absolutely perfect for an arts and crafts project, especially the way they were dancing in the wind. He was never so sure of anything in his life, he needed those pinecones.

"Guys!" He paused, making sure everyone knew he was talking, "Guys! I, I need you to get some pinecones, those pinecones!" He didn't realize he was pointing straight up,

"And, you get them, and once you've got them, and I'll get supplies!" The brownies must have hit Flippy hard, he was already glassy eyed, "We could get everything we need! We could get googly eyes, and pipe cleaners, and peanut butter, I'll go get them!"

He stumbled a bit down the field, staring at his own hands, before stopping, and turning back to the group. He pointed towards one of them, it was tough to tell, but Spades thought it was him,

"Hey Spades. Aces, Spades. Clubs." Flippy mumbled for a moment, before deciding what he needed to say, "Did you just say parakeet? I thought you said parakeet."

Spades nervously shook his head, and Flippy wandered off again, making some of the campers wonder if he'd be coming back.

"So," Mae said, exhaling a cloud of clove-scented smoke, "who wants to go get wasted?"

…

The sun was nearly down, and Phoenix had just finished collecting firewood for the night's bonfire. Since the kitchen was still being aired out from Caramel's "Tuba Recital", Pop had decided to have a large bonfire and cook dinner out by the lake. It was quite a job rounding up that much firewood, but that's what workhorses like the human were for. He could count on Phoenix to do just about any thankless job that he had laying about, and he never questioned the dangers of his work.

Of course, he didn't realize his little secret, and that would be a bit of a deal breaker for either party, so it was imperative Phoenix lay low. Unfortunately, Flaky, who had just arrived on the scene, was about to make his job a little harder.

"Hey! Gorilla!" She shouted, almost immediately feeling bad about her insult. No! Now was when she had to be brave. Phoenix, of course, feigned ignorance, only grunting, and pointing to himself curiously.

"Don't play dumb with me! I want answers, please?" Phoenix looked back and forth, before turning back to the lumber he was setting up. Flaky was getting frustrated.

"Hey! I want answers, and I want them now, or I'll scream! And you know how well I can scream!"

Phoenix looked over his shoulder, and then back to the wood. He heard Flaky inhale, deeply, and waited only a second before giving up the goat.

"Okay! Fine," He was speaking now, although constantly glancing over his shoulder, "Flaky, please, you're ruining my story."

"Your story? You're a monster! I just spent the whole afternoon listening to the story of a rabbit you locked in a cave with a carnivorous giant ant!"

"Leeroy wouldn't hurt anyone!" Phoenix rebutted, "And, wait, oh dear. Are you telling me Pippy got out?"

Flaky nodded.

"Oh no, oh no, no, no. This is bad! Flaky! You need to make sure that Pippy never gets to the idol at the center of the lake, or we'll be in trouble."

"Why should I help you hide your child from the world!" Phoenix suddenly looked very confused, and Flaky was suddenly less sure of herself, "You know, that rabbit, Pippy. She said you're her father."

"Not in the literal sense Flaky. I," He sighed, and sat down on the wall of the fire pit, "Flaky, I told you my powers are limited, but that was kind of a fib. An Author's powers are completely and totally uninhibited, and sometimes we make mistakes. Pippy is one of them, and we like to call those, Plot Bunnies.

"Let me explain. An Author is supposed to exercise control over their powers, and only write what should be, and only create good. But if we wanted too, we could use our powers to change things drastically. I told you we can only influence minds with suggestion, but imagine if someone bombarded your mind with the same thought over and over again, it's the same as mind control. And only moving a few grams, well a few grams of snow could cause an avalanche. And above all we only do things that we write down. If someone got a hold of our notebooks, they'd be able to tap into our powers, so we guard them with our lives.

"Pippy, was a mistake. I was daydreaming, one day, and she was born out of my head. We call them Plot Bunnies, because they contain an entire universe in their being, but they're elusive, like a rabbit. Pippy just happen to take the form of a literal plot bunny, a real little rabbit trapped in your world. I'm doing my best to watch over this world, and make sure Pippy doesn't get a hold of the cursed idol. If she did, she might crack, and open up her universe, and even I don't know what's in there."

Flaky didn't know what to say, in light of what he just said, everything was changed. So she nodded, and quickly hugged Phoenix's knees, as if to say she understood, before running off to her cabin. Phoenix nodded, and managed to give Flaky a smile before she ran off. Though it was more for her sake, because now that Pippy was loose, he had no doubt in his mind that things were going to go wrong.

…

"Now, boys and girls, I ask you, are we having a good time?" Pop shouted across the enormous fire, that was blazing at least ten feet into the night's sky. The campers, who had finished their grilled dinner, and were now roasting marshmallows, gave a hearty roar. Pop laughed, and sat down on a log beside the fire.

"So, I suppose that with such a fire, we're going to need a ghost story aren't we?" His idea was met with another cheer.

"Well, have you ever heard the tale, of Mad Marcus, the local butcher?" The campers all pulled close, as Pop began to speak lower, to add to the effect.

"Now Marcus was a stoat, a kind of white furred weasel, and he lived out in the woods, butchering up deer and such that the hunters shot, for a cut of the meat." Mime clutched his throat at the idea.

"Until one day, he snapped. No one knows exactly what, or why, but he hacked up the next hunter that came to his butcher's shop, and used the gun he found in the poor bastard's trunk to start hunting other hunters. They say he brought back the corpses, hacked them up and made meat pies out of them, which he sold to the marketplace, until the caught him.

"That's right, they caught Mad Marcus, and they locked him up for good, real tight. They took him out of his cell only to break rocks with the other inmates, which was their one mistake. They say what happened, was ol' Mad Marcus managed to slip a hefty sized rock into his pocket one day, and took it back to his cell. It was hardly a weapon though, so what Marcus did was, he used the rock to bash his own arm, smashed it over and over again until he snapped his own forearm off at the halfway mark. Then he peeled the flesh off it, and tied the bones together with a bit of his waistband to make a dagger out of his own bone fragments! Then he stabbed up the prison guards and escaped, they say he went back to his butcher shop, and some say he took up a bunk in forest rangers' house, after puncturing a few holes in him. But, this was a long time ago, so they don't call him Mad Marcus any more, they call him Marcus the Carcass, because he'd never survive this long out in the woods. Of course, that doesn't mean he won't come back now and again."

He ended the story with that little thought, and while the campers calmed the chills running up their spines, Tyler thought it would be funny to sneak up on his buddy Chunky and surprise him. Which led to Chunky needing to relieve himself, which he blamed on all the extra bug juice he'd been drinking. The two quickly slipped out into the woods, and Chunky insisted on going out far, to make sure no one saw them.

"So, how'd things go with Petunia?" Tyler asked, while Chunky relieved himself behind a shrub.

"I think it went pretty well, honestly. Better than I thought it would. I guess I owe you."

"Yeah, take a number," Tyler chuckled, but his laughing stopped, as a chill ran up his spine, something was moving, "Hey, Chunky, is someone else out here?"

Something, someone, moved close to his ear, "Nope, just me."

The horror that struck Tyler, upon realizing that that voice was not Chunky's, was instantly erased by a blow to the head, which rendered him unconscious. Chunky heard a thump, followed by a quick rustling, and called back to his friend.

"Tyler, are you okay?" He finished his business in the bush, and was just zipping up his shorts when a pair of thick, leathery wings wrapped around his body. He tried to scream, but a pair of hairy claws wrapped around his throat, stifling both his breath and the blood flow to his head. He was unconscious in seconds, and the figure swooped upward, leaving no trace of either of the campers.

* * *

Uh oh…  
I know what you're thinking, but I ask you, do Stoats have wings?

Oh, and I apologize if I haven't been responding to PMs and the like, I've been on sort of a drop in, drop a chapter and get out basis. Things have been heating up with school and such, I'm just glad I can keep a Monday/Wednesday schedule!


	8. Camp Creeps Part 1

**Author's Note**

Hello again, wonderful people of Fanfiction.

You know, this story has more reviews than my first story ever, Disco Rising. I'm not sure if I should be happy, or upset at that. On one hand, that was an old story, so it's good that I'm moving forward. On the other hand, I was really proud of it, so it kinda stings to be surpassing it like this.

But, regardless, I need to be keeping this story on track. Forward with all my might!

**Happy Tree Camp!**

"_Camp Creeps;_

_Part 1: Cabin Fever"_

_Starring _

_The Camp!_

...

Across the way, at that abnormal construction site, the two workers assigned to excavate and recover the strange materials buried just around the campsite were hard at work doing just that. Handy and Lumpy needed to work in the wee hours of the night, sleeping during the day, to protect the secrets they were unearthing. It was no easy task, even with fences around the camp, covering around four hundred acres, surrounding the campsite to the base of Mt. Montijo.

At the time, the two were only following their given orders, and were digging nearby the rocky base of the mountain, hoping to uncover more artifacts. While Handy supervised, Lumpy was hacking away at the base of the rock with a pickaxe. The two needed to minimize the usage of the machines, both to avoid blowing their cover in the dead of night, and even more importantly to avoid damaging anything they found.

These artifacts, if you could call them that, were the most peculiar things you'd ever seen, even if you did live in a cursed world where cuddly creatures were torn to shreds by household appliances daily, and then reanimated the next day.

The artifacts were varied, vases, plates and cups, as well as helmets, sculptures and even tablets scrawled with strange symbols. Every one of them, in fact, was covered in runes of some unknown source, undocumented by any history book. And to top it off, each one was made of some incredible material, blue and almost like dried clay in its texture. But it was harder than steel, and could withstand several dozen blows before shattering, Handy was mindful not to let Lumpy test this. And, it seemed a trick of the eyes, but the inside of each stone glowed and glinted in the moonlight like a star in the inky blue night sky, the runes carved in it exposed this, and the pictures that they formed glowed constantly, something that fascinated and terrified Handy.

He had just returned from the small shed, only about five yards away and visible from their digging spot, with a mouthful of documents, to record their findings for the night. Lumpy, who was still chipping away at the rock, noticed he'd returned.

"Hey Handy, I got a question," He said, still diligently striking the rocks. Handy spat out his papers, and tried to sound excited. It was difficult when the only one you could talk to was Lumpy,

"I'm gonna regret this," Handy sighed, "But shoot."

"So, we're mining these weird, almost alien-like artifacts, right?" He asked, not missing a beat with his pickaxe.

"Yes Lumpy, we are."

"Why?"

Handy groaned, and decided to sit down, as this would take a while, "Because Lumpy, as Pop explained it, these artifacts are similar to the cursed idol. You remember that one, right?"

Lumpy stopped digging for a moment, pondered that thought, then responded,

"Yeah, I remember that."

"But the key difference is that instead of killing us, these artifacts are somehow protecting us from dying random deaths. But, we can, however, die a normal death,l ike being shot or mauled by a wild animal, Sniffles and a few other researchers have proved that. But there's no risk of any of that, there's no animals to be found around here. Whatever the artifacts are made of is harmless, medically, so there's no risk in mining it."

Lumpy seemed satisfied with Handy's answer, and went back to mining the rock wall. Handy took this opportunity to begin cataloging the few items they'd found so far. They'd began the night digging in a few spots they'd already found, deciding on a whim to hit up the side of the mountain, half hoping to hit a buried treasure trove of artifacts.

"Let's see, two spearheads, a small vase, and three cups? Is this all?"

Lumpy stopped, as if he needed to think of the answer, which he probably did. But his answer was not was Handy was expecting. "Handy, where are the other researchers?"

Handy decided to humor him, "I don't know that Lumpy. Why?"

"Well I was wondering, if this material is harmless, and there are no animals around here, then how did we learn death is permanent?"

Handy opened his mouth to answer, but he didn't have a response this time. What Lumpy just said was at the same time very true, very interesting, and very horrifying. The biggest question was, what had killed the other researchers, because Handy was suddenly doubting they'd been "dismissed and returned home" as Pop had said. What was out there in the woods?

Unfortunately, the answer came very quickly. During that brief period of silence, there was a rushing of air above them, like a strong gust of wind. A gust carrying something huge, and Handy felt it fly so close the fur on his neck stood up. They both snapped their heads in the direction of the noise, and watched some enormous creature swoop down from the air, and land with crushing force on the small supply shed, crushing in its top and splintering wood across the wood floor. Its enormous wingspan snapped out, before coming to a rest at its side, and it cocked a head at them, surveying them.

Whatever killed the scientists was now looking at them. A giant, grotesque bat the size of a man, that was looking down on the two miners with a contemptuous intelligence.

Handy was paralyzed by his own fear, and couldn't seem to run, even when the thing threw itself into the air, and screeched, before flying towards him. He saw it open its enormous jaw, the bat's breath was on his face, when something darted between him and it. With an enormous grunt, Lumpy swung his pickaxe into the creature, hitting with ferocity no one had ever seen out of the dopey blue moose. Handy watched, dumbstruck and feeling helpless, while Lumpy fought for his life and Handy's, striking the beast with the pickaxe.

"Lumpy! What are you doing?" Handy wished he could help, but he could see that even Lumpy, despite his best effort, wasn't going to be enough. He struck the thing again and again, but it kept fighting.

Lumpy turned for a moment, to call out to Handy, "Run! You gotta run!"

But his moment of hesitation opened up a window for the Bat, and it struck out with one vicious wing, and threw Lumpy across the ground, the axe was tossed out of his hand with the force of the blow and he landed neatly at Handy's feet. The beaver panicked, glancing around the dig site, before he noticed the digging supplies, and the dynamite they'd been given to blast the rocks.

He ran, and grabbed a bundle of sticks with his mouth, before dropping them at Lumpy's side. The moose quickly regained his senses, and noticed the dynamite. He fished through his pockets for his lighter, they was running out of the time, but the wounds on the beast were slowing it. It didn't even try to fly towards them, which gave them a window of opportunity.

Finally, he struck the bit on his lighter and the fuse of the bundle caught. Lumpy threw the sticks, and it landed near the beast's feet. A deathly silence, and then, suddenly, the dark night was illuminated by an enormous ball of fire. The shockwave, even from the distance they had managed to place between the monster and themselves, Lumpy and Handy were bashed against the rocky mountain wall.

For a moment, Handy couldn't hear anything. Then a sharp ringing in his ear, and then he could feel the raw throbbing pain the shock had hit him with. But, despite that, he managed to stop wincing in pain long enough to smile. He looked to Lumpy, who seemed okay, and started laughing, and even he joined in. They had killed it, whatever killed the others, was dead, and they were safe.

But, the happiness was quickly replaced with dread, when Handy's hearing returned. The ringing was replaced with a hissing, and a low, guttural growling. He looked out to the forest, the little shed, it was impossible, but. The thing, the bat, crawled out of the wreckage, the blast had done nothing but toss it backwards into the shed, though it had torn it up a bit, and most of the bat's skin had been burned off. It growled at them, and then did something much more horrifying.

It spoke.

"You bastards, how dare you?" It's voice sounded like a gentlemen and a wolverine were fighting over control of the same entity. It slowly lurched toward them, clutching its wings to its body, with malice in its eyes.

Handy screamed, he swore he wouldn't. But he screamed. Lumpy looked much angrier, and almost ran at the thing barehanded, before Handy stopped him.

"We need to get away, quickly," Handy glanced around, their escaped was closer than he'd thought. The blast had collapsed a side of the mountain, opening up a small cavern. "Grab the box, get the box and run!"

Lumpy listened, and grabbed the box of mining supplies, and ran into the small chasm. Handy was close behind, he'd taken a moment to grab a stick of dynamite and Lumpy's lighter, and was now struggling to light the stick with the lighter held in his nubs. Finally, the fuse ignited, and Handy ran deeper into the cavern, tossing the stick behind him, into the entrance. It exploded, and the rocks collapsed inward, sealing them in, and away from it.

Handy fell to his knees, panting, and Lumpy lit a small lantern to give them some light. He kept it low though, because they both knew they might be in there for a while. And, as Handy looked up at the stone walls he realized something. This made the bat look insignificant. Lumpy's gaze followed his, and they were both staring at the rock wall. And they both had the same words on their lips.

"Oh my god"

…

The fire was dying down to cinders now, and it was nearly too dark to see by their little campsite, so many of the counselors were getting ready to take their campers back to the cabins. Russell was locking up the boathouse, and Pop was almost ready to turn in for the night, and almost no one noticed the missing campers. That's when Caramel came back.

She was horrified, panting wildly, and yelled instead of speaking,

"Everyone! Chunky, and Tyler! It's horrible!"

Pop was the first to approach her, he looked down on her, angry, "Little girl, what were you doing away from your counselor? You could have gotten lost out there!"

She looked upset, almost ready to cry, "You don't understand! I was following Chunky and Tyler, they left first! I wanted to see where they were running off to, but something got them! Some huge bat swooped out of the sky and grabbed them!"

Pop went pale at the mention, and turned to Flippy. Flippy would know what to do, he'd seen it, and he could fight it.

"What the hell do we do?" He suddenly didn't seem to care how the campers saw him, "It's here, and it's taking campers!"

Flippy's eyes were still glazed; he blinked heavily for a minute or two, to gather his thoughts, before answering, "Okay, what if, we get a megaphone, right? And when the bat shows up, we yell 'Your Mother is calling you!' And then the bat flies away to go look for her!"

Spades jumped in front of Flippy, and spoke on his behalf, nervously, "He's not feeling too good right now, so maybe we need a plan B?"

Ryder stood up, and pulled a Pistol holstered from seemingly nowhere on his body, and fired it into the air to get everyone's attention.

"Get indoors," He was calm again, which meant something terrible, "Stay indoors. He's photophobic, hates the light. We stay together, and we stay indoors, and we can stay safe until morning." He glanced around, to see if anyone would argue with him, and no one seemed to. He looked to Russell, who nodded, and unlocked the boathouse. Everyone piled in the small shack, barely larger than a cabin. People started huddling into small groups, while Ryder and Meth both stood beside the door, Meth was now armed too. The campers wondered why their counselors were now armed, but they were too afraid to ask anything right now, anything but "Is it safe?"

"I don't know," Pop shook his head. No one asked out loud, but he knew that was what everyone was thinking. "I just don't know what we do now."

Sniffles spoke up, "We need a radio, and we need to tell Handy and Lumpy to get out of there! That thing's still out there, and we need to keep them safe too."

"Who'd be stupid enough to do that?" Someone called in the darkness, Sniffles' recognized it as Lifander. It was hard to figure out where everyone was, the only light was what filtered into through the windows, and Ryder had the foresight to close the blinds on them, letting in even less.

Sniffles felt a hand on his shoulder, and in the darkness, could make out Phoenix's face, smiling down on him in some sort of understanding.

"Phoenix, you can't,"

"If he wants to go, we can make sure he's safe." Ryder smiled, and kicked the floorboards beneath them, it sounded hollow. Phoenix kneeled down and pulled them open, a rifle was nestled beneath the wood.

"I made myself at home here," Ryder smiled, "Now go quickly, the thing might be busy, so don't press your luck."

Phoenix nodded, took the rifle, and Meth carefully opened the door to let the human out. He trudged, slowly, cautiously out the door, and into the woods. And, in the whistling wind of the night, and the darkness that came when the clouds began to shroud out the moon, Phoenix, even with his phenomenal cosmic powers, couldn't tell he was being watched.

And, with his agreement, he was mortal, too.

* * *

Phew, chapter's a little shorter than I'd have liked, but that way I could get it out on time!

Phoenix Reece, signing out!


	9. Camp Creeps Part 2

**Author's Note**

Excuse me, can't you tell I'm a little busy?

…

Sorry, just caught up, talk to me later.

**Happy Tree Camp!**

"_Camp Creeps Part 2;  
Going Batty"_

_Starring_

_Phoenix_  
_And_  
_?_

If you wanted to give Phoenix some credit, it'd have to be in his spirit. He may be tampering with a world he shouldn't be, and honestly not everything's was going according to plan, and he was wandering through the darkened woods, with a cheap rifle that hadn't seen service since Russia occupied Afghanistan, given to him by a moderately inebriated hyena with a penchant for violence, and there may be a bat creature stalking him, which he knew was nigh-immortal, but he was keeping a stiff upper lip.

After all, this was his story, and he was in control.

Granted, he gave up a few rights in his back alley deal to enter his story, but it was worth it, to assure everything went off correctly. Omniscience, for instance, was denied him, when he entered the story, which would have helped him know that someone had been following him since he left the boathouse. But, a dry twig snapping underfoot behind him clued Phoenix in, he turned and fired, thankfully missing his target.

He didn't bring a flashlight, but in what little moonlight he had, Phoenix saw Flaky, who had dropped to the ground in shock, and was beginning to sob enormous tears out of panic. The bullet had hit a tree, just above her head.

"Flaky, what are you doing here?" He wasn't even bothering to disguise himself, and he carefully helped the scared little creature up. She stuttered for a moment, having trouble breathing, from the shock,

"I was just scared, and all. You even looked nervous when the, thing, showed up."

"Flaky, I'm not nervous. I'm just thinking. Writing within a story is dangerous work, and requires deep mental concentration. Now go back to the boathouse, you're going to blow my cover."

"But, wait!" Flaky called him back before he got too far away, "I needed to apologize."

Phoenix sighed, and dragged his palm over his face, before walking back to Flaky, clearly beat, "What is it you needed to apologize for Flaky?" he said, adding something under his breath to the likes of, "Oh this'll be good."

She made to say something, but a little purple raccoon poked her head out, "About me."

Phoenix nearly snapped the wood grip on his rifle while he choked in anger, barely able to form coherent sentences, something that horrified Flaky and amused Caramel. He managed to stop grunting in rage just long enough to try and figure out what was happening.

"Flaky, what did I tell you? Didn't I say that things would get bad if you started to talk! And look what you did!" He almost sounded like a father upset with his little girl.

"It's not my fault!" Flaky pointed to Caramel, "She was hell bent on cheering me up, and said she couldn't do it if she didn't know what was wrong."

Caramel nodded, and stated plainly, "It's true, sir, I'm very persistent."

"Well, who the hell else did you tell?"

"No one, I swear on my life!" Flaky placed her hands over her heart, and Caramel did the same. Something about their little innocent smiles made Phoenix almost convinced they were sincere(Or perhaps he just had a weakness for small furry critters, we couldn't be sure). But still, he ventured to ask,

"So you didn't tell anyone else?" The two girls nodded, and he could breathe easy for a moment. That is, literally a moment. Because a moment later, Zehuva followed up with her own chipper remark,

"Yeah, they're telling the truth! I followed without their permission!"

The other three would have been shocked, if they weren't already annoyed.

"Zehuva, what the hell?" Phoenix was shouting now, clearly at the end of his wits, "A bat monster goes on the loose, and the first thing you do is follow two other girls into the darkened woods to chase after a man with a rifle?"

"Well," Zehuva blushed, "I really just wanted to make sure your story ends with a sweet kiss for me and Flippy."

Reece immediately glared at Flaky, and he gritted his teeth to ask her, "What did you tell her?"

Flaky panicked, "I didn't tell her anything! Technically, I mean, I only told Caramel about your," She stood on her tippy-toes and reached up, "Phenomenal Cosmic Powers!"

Phoenix shook his head, and glanced upward in desperation, whispering to some unseen ear in the sky, "Forgive me." He turned back to the girls, "Flaky, why did you do this to me? I can't risk people knowing about what I can do! I mean, what if someone else heard about this, someone evil?"

"What are the odds of that happening?" said Caramel, and Phoenix cringed at the thought. The girls noticed this, and suddenly became a bit more worried themselves.

"Phoenix," Flaky asked, quivering a little in her voice, "Nothing bad's going to happen, right?"

"Heh heh. Um, about that," He was smiling, but it was paper thin, "let's just say that it would be better if no one else knew about me being here, because things aren't turning out right."

"Too late," A voice directly behind Phoenix made him nearly jump out of his skin. He looked down to find Mae, who had been completely disguised in the darkness, with her long black hair, all black clothing, and black makeup. In fact, the only thing that gave her away in the darkened woods was the faint smell of cheap tequila and cigarettes about her.

"And in case you're wondering, I didn't follow them. I needed a nicotine break and your shouting just happened to lead me here."

Phoenix threw his rifle to the ground, "God damnit! How did a bunch of little girls get past two armed men?"

Flaky answered, despite it being a rhetorical question, "I said I needed to pee, and was too scared to go alone."

Mae smirked as she added, "I just flipped Ryder off and he threw me out."

And Zehuva, cheerful as always, chimed in, "Well I just told Meth I wanted to wander in the woods at midnight with a mutant killer bat on the loose, and he let me go! Wait a minute…."

"Great, and now you're going back to the boathouse, capiche? Go!" His voice was seriously angry, in an attempt to get rid of them.

"Are you crazy?" Flaky clung to his pant leg, "We can't head back."

"Yeah," Phoenix looked down, and found Zehuva had latched onto his free leg, "You know how dangerous it is, we risked out skins to come after you!" The bear almost sounded like she was blaming him for the danger they were in now. But she was right, the man couldn't in all good conscience send a group of young ladies out into the woods with a bat on the loose. He picked his rifle up from the ground, if only to give him something to wrap his fists around, and motioned for the girls to follow him. They took his sudden silence as a cue, and quieted up themselves, much to the man's relief.

While they walked, Phoenix, Flaky noticed, seemed different. He wasn't joking, like he did in her dream. He was much more serious, as if he had been chained, without his powers. She still didn't fully understand what an Author was capable of doing, but she understood fully that his job was monumental. And now she was fearing that he'd crossed a line, and something was going wrong.

Mae decided to be a bit more adventurous than the other girls, and walked right up beside Phoenix, asking plainly,

"So, what are you anyway?"

"Funny you should ask. Didn't Flaky give you a run-down?"

"Came here on my own, remember?"

"Right, well," He rolled his head, to stretch his neck a bit, almost relaxing before he started, "I'm an Author, and it's my hobby to write things. You're in a story of mine, though things seem to be getting out of hand."

"With the Bat?" She asked, coolly nursing a cigarette.

"I wish," He smiled, it was almost comforting talking to her, simply because she didn't seem to care what he said, "More or less my daughter."

"You have a daughter?" Anyone besides Mae would have been shocked, but she was almost mocking him as she took another drag on her cigarette.

"A rabbit, something we Authors call a 'Plot Bunny'. She's actually a universe inside herself, and somehow got out of her cage. I don't understand how it's possible, but someone let her out. Now I'm horrified with what might happen should she figure out and, god forbid, open up whatever's inside of her. I went to the infirmary today, and she was missing. But I didn't have the chance "

"Never too late to back out," She said, flatly. She wasn't even looking at him, "You're in control here, right? Snap your fingers and make it all good."

"Wish I could, but I'm limited. I'm sort of a weak Author, meaning I can only manipulate things that already exist. And even in that I'm limited. So right now, I can only do just about as much as you can. Plus, I'm not immortal, I've got weaknesses."

Mae's ears perked up, "Weakness? Kinky, very kinky. Care to share?"

"Aren't you an interesting girl? Well, first of all, bullets, fire, drowning. Anything that can kill you can kill me. When I snuck into this world I gave up my immortality. And I have a weakness for music."

"You're joking."

"No really, when someone starts a musical number I have to join in. I keep a set of Blues Brothers suits handy for just such an occasion. Want to see them when we get to camp?"

"Oh dear God no." Mae said, suddenly desperate for a distraction, "Oh hey look, we're here!"

And she was right, they had just arrived at the outskirts of the camp. Phoenix led them around the fence to the far side, where he unlocked the back gate with one of the large ring of keys he had been carrying. It must have come with being the camp's janitor, among other things.

"Okay, so we need to stop by the Pop's cabin, the two-story one, and radio the crew. I suppose after that we could spend the night there, we're better off waiting until morning than trying to get back to the boathouse."

"Wait, Pop's cabin has a radio in it?" Caramel asked, walking closely behind him.

"Not just a radio," Phoenix explained, "He's got the central hookup in there. The signals from around camp and the dig site are transmitted there, even if you're not directly talking to him, Pop can figure out what you're saying."

"Why would he," Flaky started, but a shiver ran up her spine when she began thinking, and decided she wouldn't ask anything else, as they walked through the darkened camp. It was much different, at night. Especially knowing that the group was almost alone. Almost.

But they reached the headmaster's cabin in silence, and Reece fished through the ring of keys to find one that matched, and they slowly entered, flicking on the lights only made it slightly less creepy to stand in. Pop must have had a sick sense of humor, because his room was filled with stuffed animals, "ferals", the other tree friends called them. And a bear posed in a gristly roar that stood conveniently across the door managed to squeeze a yelp out of Flaky, and a few annoyed looks out of everyone else.

While Phoenix tried to turn on the radio, the others tried to make themselves comfortable, which became nearly impossible everytime they thought of their situation. But finally, he managed to switch on the machine, which resembled a WW2 comm station more than anything else, and even had a pair of circular tapes on the front that recorded whatever messages it received, and before he could even try to signal the two diggers, the radio began unwinding and played a message of its own.

"Hello, this is Handy recording at about 11:30 midnight,"

Reece checked his watch; it was about one in the morning.

"I repeat, this is Handy, and Lumpy is also present with me. We were attacked tonight, at around 10 o clock, and we trapped ourselves inside a cavern in Mt. Montijo by the dig site. The creature was some sort of bat, it took nearly everything we threw at it, even a small explosion, but we seemed to have escaped it. I'm trying to warn everyone I can, the thing is intelligent. It spoke to us, I could have sworn that it was a trick of my ears, but it's true.

"Anyway, we need to make this quick. The air is thick with debris, and we've only got three things, a flashlight, a radio, and an air purifier, and the things run on the same damn batteries. But if I say one last thing, it's that you need to see the cavern we're in. Even if you don't get the chance to rescue us, we've only got maybe two days here, you need to break open this cavern. The writing on the walls, seems to be predicting something, something incredible. It had that bat thing, and it has some strange rabbit.

"Look, I don't have time to go into detail. Lumpy, if you want to say something."

The recording shifted for a moment, the radio was being passed to another hand. Lumpy spoke, in a tear soaked voice, that almost depressed them, knowing how cheerful he normally was.

"Handy, I'm, I'm scared." He paused for a moment, and there was a voice in the background, Handy could be faintly heard reassuring him. Lumpy started up again, "Whoever gets this, I'm sorry. I tried to kill it, honest. But, I'm sorry."

The recording ended abruptly, and left even Phoenix shaking. Things were getting far too real, and the only thing the man could do was take the rifle off the table and try to reassure them,

"I'm sure you guys are gonna be fine, we just need to stay indoors. For now, the thing wouldn't come out in daylight, and it wouldn't chase us this far,"

But it was wishful thinking. He stopped mid sentence, because they could all hear the wind picking up abnormally fast. Then, suddenly, the same bat creature, still scarred from the fight with Lumpy and Handy, tore in through the nearest window, shrieking bloody murder. It slammed hard into Phoenix, and pinned him against a wall, one claw digging into his shoulder, and the other arm pressed against his throat.

"Run, everyone run!" He managed to choke out the words, with oxygen being denied his lungs. The girls were too scared to do anything else, and, still screaming, ran from the cabin, leaving Phoenix and the beast alone. Slowly, it fixated it's gaze on him, and spoke in a low rumbling roar that slowly evolved into what could best be described as the voice of none other than Dracula.

"You piece of filth," growled the bat, "You zhink you're protecting them?"

Phoenix allowed himself a smile, as his face began going blue, "I don't think, I know. And they don't need any protection. Not from you, Gouge."

The bat snarled, and took the claw off Phoenix's shoulder, and threw a punch into his ribs, knocking whatever wind he had left out of his lungs.

"Shut up! Who zee hell are you?"

"I'm an Author, and I know exactly what's going to happen," Phoenix was in control again, even staring into a near skinless monstrosity that held him, "You're going to chase the girls, and you're going to die. So go, little bat. Go and chase them."

Gouge's eyes lit up, and he began striking Phoenix, anywhere on his body, his stomach, his groin, his face, over and over again, until his body went limp in his hold. Gouge let the man slip from his grasp, to fall lifelessly to the ground.

"Bastard," Gouge whispered, before backing out, and taking flight from the window he had broken in from.

Phoenix was right, though. Gouge was going to die by the hands of four girls. Of course, it wasn't the first time the bat had died.

And it wouldn't be the last.

* * *

You know, I just got Dead Rising 2, and it took every ounce of my being to write this chapter instead of playing it.

Be thankful I love you guys.


	10. Daybreak

**Author's Note**

…

**Happy Tree Camp!**

"_Camp Creeps Part 3;  
Daybreak"_

_Starring_

_Flaky, Mae, Caramel, and Zehuva_

_And_

_The Camp!_

…

They were huddled together, the remaining campers, in tight little groups across the boathouse, which was barely larger than a cabin, and had barely enough moonlight to recognize the person beside you. In times of crisis, a counselor was trained to calm the panicked children, but right now, no one was panicked, hardly anyone was even talking. Some, mostly counselors, were asleep, they somehow found the peace of mind in all this. But even those who did talk, all they said were whispers, fear filled wisps that frightened some more than the terror of what was outside. In one corner, a little lamb was huddled close beside a weasel.

"This is so messed up, I mean, how can you not be scared?" Lammy whispered to Slick. She was wrapped around his arm; it was the first thing she clung to when they herded everyone into the boathouse.

"Look, we'll be fine. These guys wouldn't let something bad happen to us." He seemed nonchalant, but really Slick was frightened as well, if only because Lammy was. She had a big influence on his emotions, even the ones he didn't show.

"I mean, I'm not worried about myself, it's Mr. Pickles!" She looked suddenly like she was going to cry, "I left him in the cabin, what if that bat-freak gets him?"

"Are you kidding me?" Lammy didn't realize she was yelling, and Lifander overheard them, and moved in closer, "Don't you have something more serious to be worried about? I can't believe I'm surrounded by idiots like you!"

Slick lunged out to punch Lifander, but something tugging on his side made him stop just a few inches short. He was pulled back to the wall by Lammy, who laid over his body to try and pacify him. Slick just shook his head towards Lifander, before closing his eyes and trying to fall asleep. Lifander smirked, as if he'd won something, when he felt a hand on his shoulder, and nearly screamed.

It was Ruffy, who managed to sneak up on him in darkness.

"What the hell's your problem?" Lifander growled, while he tried to slow his hammering heartbeat.

"I was just about to ask the same thing, pal," Oddly enough, the bear didn't seem to angry, he even scooted a little closer to the polecat as they talked. But Lifander honestly didn't care,

"Did I ask for a consultation? If I wanted to explain my tragic flaws I'd do it with my psychiatrist."

"Never too late to talk to somebody," Ruffy said, leaning back against the nearby wall.

"Actually it is, he died of lung cancer when I was eight."

"That's a shame, did you know him well?"

"Yeah, for the first few years of my life. He was alright, for someone paid to spend time with me."

Something strange was happening with Lifander, he seemed almost normal for a moment. His shoulders lowered, and he stared upward, looking at the moonlight filtering into the boathouse through the cracks in the roof. Ruffy was actually a little surprised, he'd crack so easily. But he shrugged it off, Lifander was probably only being personable because no one else would see him.

"So," Ruffy finally asked, "What were you in the shrink for?"

The cat sighed, and his eyes rolled from the ceiling to the ground, where he could see the dark lake water churning underneath them, "I just had some problems. Bullying, a little."

"You were, or you did?"

"A bit of both, some bastard warthog with an overactive pituitary gland decided to knock me around. I suppose, I got a little rough around the edges."

"A little?" Ruffy stifled a laugh.

"Shut up." Lifander groaned. He decided now would be a great time to fall asleep, so he rolled in the opposite direction of Ruffy and curled up. Ruffy just looked at him, and then up to the ceiling to catch a few glinting moonbeams. He stretched out on the floor, with his head facing the sky, and called quietly.

"G'night Lifander."

There was a brief silence, and it sort of saddened Ruffy when Lifander didn't answer. But, after a few minutes, right before he fell asleep, Ruffy could have sworn he heard a faint,

"Gute Nacht Ruffy."

….

She was running, panting, through the camp, no she wasn't in the camp anymore. She wasn't sure where she was. All Zehuva knew was that the other girls were apparently faster than her, including the chain smoker. She also knew that she couldn't keep up her pace, and that there was something moving around her in the trees, making the wind blow harder than it should.

The little bear fell to her knees, unable to run anymore, and dug into the dirt with her nails. Her entire body was shaking violently, and she could hardly breathe. And the worst part of it all,

"I'm never gonna get to kiss Flippy…" She wheezed. Something whipped up the air around her, and then landed hard behind her. She felt a cold shock down her spine, and suddenly she couldn't breathe. It hadn't touched her, yet, but she felt it breathing, so close it touched the hair on the back of her neck.

It wasted no time, and struck her hard, on her shoulder, flipping her over. In the moonlight, she caught a full view of it, burned and nearly skinless, with pupil-less, bright yellow eyes. Its wings were so torn from god knows what, that it was a wonder the thing could fly. And then, it leaned in, close enough for her to notice an enormous hole in the side of its mouth revealing its jawbone, and it spoke,

"You little speck of vomit," Gouge's voice was almost gargling, and she saw blood pour from his mouth, "You stupid little bitch, you have no idea vhy I vhant to kill you, do you?"

But before the bat could continue, Zehuva, who was grabbing at the ground behind her, found something to attack him with. It wasn't a rock, as she'd hoped, but a pinecone, that she jammed with all her might into the hole in the side of his mouth, a recently opened wound that was then torn even further open by the prickle filled pinecone. Gouge recoiled in pain and Zehuva managed to scramble to her feet and run, putting more distance between him and her.

He rolled on the ground, writhing in agony, before he managed to tear the pinecone out of his mouth, sending pieces of his mouth flying, and letting a fresh stream of blood pour from his face. She'd pay for this, he'd use her corpse to begin with, he wouldn't even start in on the two boys he'd caught already. No, he'd save them, and he'd make them watch.

His mouth flung open, and he threw his arms into the air, screeching out a message to the frightened bear,

"You aren't immortal! Only I vill be immortal!"

Then, he tossed his arms to his side, whipping the air around him to leap back into the sky, gliding over the wood, to search for her. It only took a moment; she was trying to seek refuge in a small cabin, the idiot. He swung down, almost silently, landing on the midsection of a tree, to watch her. She was pounding on the door, and pulling, trying to get inside, it was as if she knew her friends were in there. Perfect, the idiot had led him to more. The other girls that Author had tried to protect. He'd go back and finish that freak off once he'd finished picking the meat from that little bear's skull.

She turned, and saw him amongst the trees, the perfect moment. Gouge leapt down and slammed her against the door of the cabin, gripping her shoulders to hold her in place. He dug so deeply with his claws that blood trickled down her chest, and tears began to stream down her face. She desperately tried to pull away, but the bat was several times stronger than her. He looked directly at her eyes, and she felt her body freeze up. All she could do was stare, her cheeks bulging, and her mouth pursed shut. He smiled, and whispered to her,

"Vhy don't you scream for me? Make this fun? Go ahead, scream." He punctuated with a piercing shriek, and his mouth pulled open wider than she could have imagined, revealing fangs like daggers, saturated with blood. But when Zehuva opened her mouth, she didn't scream. Instead, she spat into his throat, a mouthful of brown, swirling liquid.

Gouge recoiled, choking, and almost ready to strike the bear, and tear her face off. When, suddenly, his throat burned, and it burned deeply. His entire mouth became inflamed with an agonizing pain. He felt the roof of his mouth sag; it was melting like he'd swallowed a pint of acid. He choked, coughing up blood and half melted chunks of his own flesh. There was a triumphant shout, and then suddenly he felt his entire body be drenched.

The other girls, hiding in Sniffles' workshop, kicked in the door and tossed beakers and flasks filled with the "Cider" onto the bat, and it seeped into his wounds, only further adding to the agony. He thrashed about, screaming and spewing bile of his own liquefied organs, until he fell to the ground, unable to move. He could only twitch violently as the Cider reduced what was left of him to a reddish, slop and a thick purple mist.

Zehuva, Caramel, Flaky and Mae simply stared in horror at the pile of half liquefied bones and flesh that was bubbling in front of them. Flaky covered her mouth, but couldn't hold back, and ended up vomiting; only adding to the sickening, acidic smell. Then, Caramel shouted,

"That was awesome! We killed it! We killed it!"

Mae slapped Zehuva on the back, inhaling a bit of smoke before complimenting her, "Nice job holding that in Zevvy, you played your part well."

Zehuva blushed, "It was scary, I was so frightened I nearly swallowed."

"Same thing happened with me and my boyfriend once." She winked, and Zehuva blushed a little brighter, while Mae and Caramel laughed. Flaky, however, had other things on her mind,

"Um, guys. What about Phoenix?"

…

The girls arrived back at Pop's cabin just as the sun began to rise. They had found Phoenix, badly beaten, but still breathing. They managed to use the radio equipment to signal the other campers, and soon everyone had returned. Sniffles, Meth and Ryder handled the disposal of Gouge's body, not without taking a few samples, though. Pop had taken Disco and Flippy, recently recovered from his brownies(With a wicked headache, might I add), to the dig site, to rescue the trapped Handy and Lumpy. It took them most of the day, but they had been recovered in time, and brought into the infirmary. Pop also took special care in assigning Sniffles the duty of studying the extensive hieroglyphs that were carved into the cavern walls.

The other campers returned to their cabins, for the day, as the Counselors were dispatched onto Mt. Montijo to search for Chunky and Tyler, who were still missing. Many were worried, but some were just thankful to be alive.

The girls kept a promise to a friend, and Phoenix's secret was not yet revealed.

…

Somewhere, in a cavern, with no light save for a single burning torch. There, in some rusted iron cage, where perhaps tribesman held their captives, Chunky and Tyler were chained to each other by the ankle. Both had been sitting in the darkness for several hours, with no one to speak to except each other. And trust me, Tyler talked.

"And then, the giant Amazon women will violently mate us death, taking turns to assure maximum pleasure. But fear not my friend, we will live on, in their cross breed KoalaCat Amazon warrior children!"

Chunky, meanwhile, had been occupying his time by banging his eardrum on a nearby stalagmite, hoping to rupture it and go deaf. As they sat in the darkness, Chunky noticed something swirling above them. A thick purple mist condensed in the air of the cave, and slowly descended into the cracks of the rock wall opposite of them. They waited for a moment, in silence, before the rock began cracking, and the sheet of stone slid off it, revealing a small, primitive casket, out of which stepped a corpse, that had been rotted so deeply, that it was nearly impossible to tell who it once was.

"Now," Its rotting jaw managed to hold up enough to allow it to speak, in Gouge's thick accent, "It would appear I am running out of corpses. Vhat vill ve do about zat, boys?"

Chunky and Tyler went wide eyed, and the koala jumped into Tyler's arms, both of them shaking wildly. Tyler managed to squeak out one last one-liner,

"I sure hope that was a juice box in my pocket, Chunks."

"And I really hope I sat in guano," Chunky replied, his teeth still chattering.

From outside, all you could hear was a fading laugh.

* * *

I'll have you know, I don't do anything by accident. Think of something, anything you remember from the past few chapters. It's gonna be used.

Also, Gouge isn't my character, but he was originally going to be playing the villain in the last HTC, so I figured he'd fit the role again? And trust me, this was a warm up round.

But, I wouldn't count those two out, they haven't died yet!


	11. Mountain out of a Molehill

**Author's Note**

*Slowly peeks out from behind a wall*

Heheh, sorry, I kinda got sidetracked….

DON'T HURT ME!  
*Cowers*

I think I might need to spread this out a bit more, to keep from getting overwhelmed. Let's say every Monday and Friday, shall we?

**Happy Tree Camp**

"_Mountain out of a Molehill"_

_Starring  
Flippy_

_The Pine Cabin!_

_Also featuring_

_?_

…..

The two boys stood, their knees knocking together and their teeth chattering like a pair of castanets as the rotted corpse slowly lumbered towards their cell. They tried in vain to escape, but both of their ankles were still shackled to the stone wall by a pair of rusted chains. Without saying anything, they both grabbed some small rocks and tried to bash the chains apart, to no avail.

The ghoul first approached Chunky, so close to him that he could feel it's mouldy breath on his neck. The koala turned, took one look into its empty eyesockets, and dropped his stone, whimpering. His entire furry form shook, and slowly the thing brought its face so close that they nearly touched, and slowly hissed,

"Boo!"

Chunky let out a whine, his eyes rolled into the back of his head, and he slumped to the ground, passed out. Tyler saw this and panicked, striking the chain around his ankle more vigorously in a desperate bid for freedom. But, the corpse shambled up to the terrified cat, and blew slowly, into Tyler's gaping, terrified mouth. A thick purple mist rolled out of the zombie's jaw, and poured into Tyler's throat.

He fell back, sputtering and gagging on the gas, which tasted much like you'd expect a corpse's breath to taste. Finally he rolled over and wiped the spit from his lips, seeming no worse for the wear. The ghoul didn't move, it was locked in place, and slowly, deliberately, Tyler tapped the nose of the thing, and it collapsed into a pile of rotten flesh and brittle bones.

Tyler almost laughed, as he breathed a sigh of relief, and went to wake up his friend. But, the moment he reached out to Chunky, he began to feel weak, and his eyelids couldn't stay open. Finally, the cat collapsed right next to Chunky.

…

When Chunky finally woke up, he was shocked by the amount of light, and needed to cover his eyes to keep from going blind. Wherever he was, the sun was shining on him. He sat up, and saw Tyler sitting on a rock and watching him. They were outside, right beside the cave where they'd been brought the night before, on the side of Mt Montijo.

"Morning sleepy head!" said Tyler, jumping off his perch to help Chunky up.

"Where are we, what happened to that bat-thing?" Chunky was still getting his bearings.

"Not sure, but we did escape! When you passed out, I figured the best thing we could do was escape. I had to drag you all the way out of that cave!" Chunky looked down at this shirt, and it was streaked with dirt.

"But when did I pass out?" Chunky's head was a little muddled, what with the situation they had been in.

"Not sure, but we were in there for like, eight hours. The rest of the camp must be vorried sick about us!" And with that, Tyler decided he would lead the way down the mountain, and started off, before Chunky noticed something odd.

"Wait, what did you just say Tyler?"

The cat gave him a sideways glance, but smiled and replied, "I said the camp must be worried sick about us, now let's get going!"

Tyler hopped off, and Chunky rubbed his head. He must be hearing things.

…

Even with some two Campers missing, the counselors were instructed to continue their schedules as usual, while Handy and Lumpy were sent out as an impromptu search party. Such was the case with Flippy, who was now taking his campers up the side of the mountain. Not as punishment, oh no. In fact, Flippy was having a change of heart, thinking back about his campers. I mean, you'd be questioning your style of dealing with your campers too if they drugged you just to avoid having to listen to you. He suddenly began thinking that he'd been too hard on the kids, and now he was going to make it up to them by treating them to the greatest view they'd ever seen, the very peak of Mt. Montijo.

Few experienced hikers dared go that high, for fear of what lay on the road up. But it was without a doubt the greatest experience these campers were ever going to have. So he went through all the trouble of waking them up at six in the morning and missing breakfast in order to get up there by sundown.

It was around four in the afternoon, and the campers were already lagging behind Flippy, who was still keeping a vigorous pace, even with his enormous knapsack.

"C'mon maggots! I mean, campers!" He was trying his best to stifle his military ways, and thought he was doing a good job, despite what his campers would say. In Flippy's defense, though, they were less upset with him, and more upset with Spades. Which they were very happy to let him know as they hiked,

"I've realized the error of my ways! Maybe I was being too hard on you guys!" Mae growled, kicking Spades square in his rear every time she punctuated her sentences, "I've decided to take us all on a journey! A spiritual journey! A fucking magical journey! That! Will! Bring! Us! All! To-fucking-gether!"

"Okay, I get it!" Spades turned around, clutching his aching butt, "I was just trying to help us a little!"

"Yeah," Brook said, "Leave the poor guy alone. How was he supposed to know drugging our counselor would make him hell-bent on being nice? I mean, aside from the obvious implications of drugging an adult, let alone one with PTSD, and the negative effects it would have on his psyche, how was Spades supposed to know?"

He placed a hand over Brooke's mouth "Thank you Brooke, that will be all. Let's just keep walking, we've got to be getting close."

"Hey guys?" Someone from the back of the group called, "You might wanna have a word with Nutty, he's not exactly. Well, you'll see."

It was Slick, he'd been so quiet during the hike that they'd almost forgotten he was there, and he sort of began to blend in with the trees. Nutty, however, was less covert. The other campers found him a few paces back, with a jar of honey he'd inexplicably produced, and was dipping anything he could find in the sticky stuff, coating it and eating it! He had already eaten more than a few honey dipped twigs and leaves, and was about to start on a honey glazed pinecone, before Spades slapped the jar out of his hand.

"Hey! I was, hehe," Nutty stopped mid sentence, to lick some of the honey off his fingers.

"What were you doing dumbass?" Mae asked, slapping him upside the head to get his attention.

"Yeah, I mean really, what the hell?" Spades kicked the jar into a nearby bush to keep Flippy from finding, should he figure out that they weren't with him, "What would posses you to think you can start eating whatever you found?"

"I was, hehe, HA! Hungry! I hadn't had, heh, anything sweet in ages! HAH! It was, heheh, driving me crazy!"

"So?" Brooke grabbed him and tried to drag the squirrel back to the group, while he licked the dirt where the honey had spilled, "We, you need to get moving! All this honey around here is gonna attract ants and bees!"

Nutty paused for a moment and wiped the dirt of his mouth, smiling broadly, "Don't be silly Brooke, honey doesn't attract bees, honey attracts bears!"

Everyone froze in their tracks, wide eyed. A low growling from the woods off the trail sent shivers down their spines, and Mae was the first one to run. Followed by Brooke, who threw her hands in the air and screamed, followed by Spades who acted similarly. Slick shook his head, and grabbed Nutty, who was still licking the ground, and ran off behind them.

…

Flippy, who was still unaware that his campers had fallen much farther behind him than he thought, was taking a quick water and jerky break, and looking out on the forest. It was an illustrious green, and spread out as far as the eye could see, along with the enormous lake that glittered in the mid day sun. Flippy really did love nature, it helped him relax. He glanced to his left, where the trail continued, and the only thing separating them from the peak was a rope bridge and about fifty yards of slope. He hoisted his backpack onto his shoulder and looked out behind him to see if the campers were still following him.

They were, but, so was something else. Something big. Flippy gasped, and began searching through his bag to find something to help them. But before he could unzip the backpack, Brooke ran past him, and onto the rope bridge, shouting over her shoulder,

"RUN!"

Flippy looked at her, and then back to the other campers, and saw the enormous, feral grizzly that was chasing them, and decided it would be best to listen to her. He hoisted the backpack over his shoulder and sprinted across the rope bridge, with Slick and Nutty close behind. Spades was just about to cross over the bridge to safety, when he saw Mae, struggling to keep up. She fell to her knees, hacking and wheezing, and he couldn't decide what to do.

Finally, Spades leapt into action, and ran back to Mae, before lifting her up and running towards the bridge again. He paused for a moment, and heard the cracking underneath him, and slowly looked downwards. The bridge, he suddenly realized, was suspended over a deep crack in the side of the mountain, which seemed to run about fifty feet below them, not to mention the fact that they had already reached a very high altitude from climbing the mountain. And now it seemed the thin rope bridge that suspended him and this girl he was carrying was beginning to falter under their combined weight.

On the plus side, though, the bear was nowhere near stupid enough to try and chase them onto the tiny support, and instead gave up and headed back from wherever it had come from.

"You gonna get moving any time tiger?," Mae whispered, "Or are we just gonna cuddle?"

Spades groaned, "Seriously? You wanna walk yourself?"

"I smoke two packs a day, my lungs have enough tar to kill a triceratops, now if you wouldn't mind?"

Spades muttered something under his breath and began slowly walking across the bridge each step shook the entire thing much more than he would have liked, and honestly the other campers calling his name and trying to encourage him was just working on his nerves. That, and his head was spinning from vertigo, and his arms where aching with the added weight of Mae.

But somehow, by some miracle they made it across and Spades slowly let Mae down. The wolf smiled, earnestly and warmly, something no one had seen Mae do before, and honestly it scared Spades. But it was short lived, and Mae fell to her knees, and hacked up a black wad of tar, wiping her mouth with her black sleeves. Spades cautiously put a hand on her shoulder,

"Are you okay?"

"Fine," She stood, and pecked him on the cheek, leaving black lipstick and spittle on his face, "Just fine."

Flippy patted Spades on the shoulder, "Fine work private, I mean, Spades. When we get back to camp I've got a medal for you." He said, before starting up the last leg of the mountain, leaving only Mae and Spades.

They stood for an awkward moment, with Spades blushing and wiping the black gunk off his face, and Mae lighting another cigarette, which was the closest she would go to flirting. Then, something broke the silence, Slick and Nutty were watching them from a bit higher up,

"Hey lovebirds, we're still going to the top, remember?" Slick laughed, and Nutty nudged the weasel with his elbow,

"Maybe we should, eehehe, leave them alone, so Spades can get a little, hehe, sugar! HA!"

Spades blushed, and yelled back at them, "Are you guys kidding me? She hates me!"

Mae nodded, "I really do." She added to the point by putting out her cigarette on Spades' cheek. He yelped at the touch, and Mae couldn't help but smile. Slick shook his head and motioned for Nutty to follow, the show was over, and they had a mountain to climb.

"You really had to sell that point, didn't you Mae?" Spades whined, rubbing his cheek.

"What point?" Mae snickered and relit her cigarette, before heading up the mountain without him.

Spades adjusted his fedora and grabbed onto the rock wall behind her, starting up as well. They were getting close, and Flippy had already reached the summit. Slowly, they hoisted themselves up, this was the result of around seven hours of climbing, and one by one, the campers ascended to the top.

"This is gonna be so exciting!" Brooke shouted, "I've never been to the complete top of any mountain before!"

She was leading the group, with Slick right underneath her, "Yeah, I heard the view is spectacular, though I'm not exactly one for heights."

"I just hope, hehe! We get a lunch break when we, heheheh, get up there!"

"Guys, you're never gonna believe this!" Flippy shouted down, he looked like he was about to break down laughing, "But someone beat us up here!"

The campers climbed up, and heaved themselves up to the flat top of the mountain, and were surprised to find that not only was it unseasonably cold up on the top, but someone had indeed beat them to the top of the mountain. A wide under bite grinned at them, and everyone at once realized who was there.

"Cro-marmot?" Brooke walked up to the frozen Cave-friend, " I haven't seen you around town lately."

"I suppose we've found out why," Slick smiled, and patted the ice-block on the back, "I never would have pinned you as the hiking type Cro,"

Cro-marmot just sat there, unblinking, his smile spoke for itself.

"Hey everyone!" Mae shouted, "You guys have got to see this!"

She motioned them over to the mountain's edge, and they looked out to the woods below them. Through the orange light filtering over the horizon, they could see everything for miles. You'd never believe something simple like a forest would be so beautiful if you could only step back and see it for its whole. Flippy was particularly awestruck, and shed a single, manly war veteran tear. He somberly shook his head and called to his campers,

"We gotta start heading back, guys. It's getting late and we'll need to be back for dinner, and honestly if I stay here any longer I might cry,

"Hey big guy," He was talking to Cro-marmot now, "We're going back to the camp, would you like to come along?" He slapped Cro on the 'Shoulder', and accidentally sent the enormous block of ice sliding across the top, and then off the edge where he plummeted for several hundred feet before hitting the ground with an audible "THUD"

Flippy looked around nervously at the campers, who saw him knock another Tree Friend off a cliff, and leaned over the side to look for him. Several hundred feet down, he could see a block of ice, still entirely intact. Flippy hesitated, then called down to it,

"Sorry!"

…

Meanwhile, some hundred feet down, Chunky and Tyler were still lost in the woods. They had been wandering for hours, but the thing about being abducted by a giant bat monster in the middle of the night and taken to its lair in a mountain deep in the woods, was that it really messed up your sense of direction. Chunky was entirely out of breath, and even more hungry, when they decided that they might have to create a makeshift camp for themselves, so Tyler was the one who went out to try and find some dried twigs and branches to make a fire.

So, while Tyler was out gathering wood, Chunky was left to sit and pant on a fallen tree, when suddenly, the last thing he expected to see fell out of the sky, a giant block of ice containing a prehistoric marmot, landed in front of him.

Well, actually that's not entirely true. The last thing Chunky was expecting to see fall out of the sky was a sperm whale and a bowl of petunias, but that's a different story.

Needless to say, it shook the koala up. But he soon realize that if anyone knew the way out of the woods, it would be Cro-marmot. So he simply walked right up and asked him,

"Hey Cro, we're kind of lost here, do you know the quickest way to the Camp Happy Tree?"

The block of ice just sat there in its crater, a few droplets of icy water perspiring off it. But, this somehow translated into an answer to him,

"Thanks!" Chunky said, before running off to find Tyler.

* * *

Well, now that Gouge been taken care of, we can all relax a little!

I suppose I can take a little breather, don't expect to see me appearing in the story too soon. I mean, how lame would it be for you guys to enter your OCs, and the story to focus on me!

I can't help but wonder where Pippy is…

Remeber, Mondays and Fridays now!


	12. Prophecy

**Author's Note**

"Takin' care of business, everyday.

Takin' care of business, every way.

Takin' care of business and workin' overtime.

**Happy Tree Camp!  
**_"Prophecy"_

_Starring_

_Ryder and the Redwood Cabin_

_And_

_Meth and the Weeping Willow Cabin!_

…_._

With Gouge gone, peace had returned and for the most part everyone's minds were at ease and free to enjoy the camp. And most did. But, there was the question of what Ryder would be doing with his time, now that the entire reason he'd chosen to attend this itty bitty camp of children, was gone. It infuriated him a little bit, as he packed his bags, that a creature he'd hunted from his homeland of Russia, and tracked throughout these woods was killed by a group of little girls. Very infuriating, to be perfectly honest, that he'd never even gotten a clear sight of the beast for more than a fleeting minute, and never received the satisfaction of killing it himself.

But, such is life. His mother had taught Ryder better than to dwell in the past. He double checked the few clips of ammunition he'd bothered to take(He'd left most of it back where he hid the weapons, scattered around the campground. They'd benefit from it more than he; his homeland wouldn't need more service from him when he got back. They probably wouldn't even remember him, which suited him fine, to be forgotten and left alone is much more peaceful. That's why he'd elected to leave early in the morning, so even his campers wouldn't notice him.

He carefully walked across the old wooden floor, wincing at every creak that slipped out from under his feet, then reached out to open the cabin's screen door. It began to creek loudly, and he threw the door open quickly to try and minimize the sound, his most fatal error, as it squeaked loudly enough to wake a bear.

Ryder froze, his years of Spetsnaz training were suddenly blank from his mind. The rustling of some nearby sheets and a light thud of feet hitting the ground only confirmed his fears. He could hear Niki's voice, softly, and he cursed something in Russian beneath his breath.

"Ryder, what are you doing?" He slowly turned, and the moment he saw her he cringed. She was barely awake, fur mussed, and rubbing her eyes, and still dressed in a pair of pajamas.

He tried his best Grinch impersonation, and said sweetly, "I was just, going to the bathroom. Now go back to bed, it's still early."

"But then why did you bring your suitcase?"

He looked down at the bag, and tossed it to the side, "I don't know what you're talking about."

She pouted, "Hey, you weren't thinking of leaving us, were you?"

He muttered another curse under his breath, something in Russian, "When did little children get so curious? In my country little girls didn't ask so many questions, they woke up, milked goat, and harvested potatoes. I'm not leaving, now go back to bed."

Niki wrapped her arms around Ryder, "Good! I didn't want you to leave, you're a fun counselor."

Ryder smiled, for a moment, before stopping himself, and pushing her loose, "Great, now I need to go take a leak, go to bed."

"I can't, I'm already awake," She stared up at him with wide eyes, and rubbed her belly, "And now I'm hungry. Can we get breakfast?"

Ryder groaned, "Love to, but we can't the others aren't awake. Wait until then, okay? Good."

He turned to walk out of the cabin, but felt something tugging on his shirt. He didn't even need to turn to know exactly who it was.

"Niki, go back to bed."

"Please? Pretty please?"

"If I get you something to eat, will you go keep quiet until the other campers are awake?"

He didn't get an answer, per se, but he did get a little wolf jumping onto his back. He nearly tossed her off in a rage, but held himself back, and actually piggy backed Niki to the mess hall in what little light that the sun could provide them, because even it was barely over the horizon.

Surprisingly enough, when they arrived at the mess hall it was unlocked, but still empty. Apparently, in order to feed the campers, Mumbo had to wake up in the wee hours of the morning to start on breakfast, which today, as Ryder and Niki could smell, was flapjacks. They took a table by a window, Niki's choice (She wanted to watch the sun rise), and Ryder grabbed some fresh pancakes from Mumbo.

They sat and ate, in relative silence, save for Niki's messy chewing. Ryder ate like a starved lumberjack, and Niki seemed like she needed to eat her weight in syrup, and it was a little funny watching them both together. Fortunately for Ryder, no one was watching a hardened Russian soldier eat pancakes with a little girl.(Well, except Mumbo, but he wouldn't tell anyone but his batter, as he slaved over a hot griddle.) While Ryder polished off another plate, he asked his 'guest' something he'd been wondering for some time.

"Niki, you called me fun earlier. Did you mean that?"

Niki scooped another forkful into her mouth, and spoke, "Yeah, of course I did."

Ryder mused on this for a moment, "What is fun about me? When did I do something fun?"

"I dunno," Niki put her fork down, she was starting to get full, "I you're just fun."

"How?"

"You're funny. Like when you threatened to shoot us."

Ryder drew back, a little weirded-out, "That was funny?"

"Yeah, and you're always drinking and looking cool."

"What is cool about drinking? It is a bad habit, don't you ever drink."

"I wouldn't, but," Niki looked all around the room, before answering, "You're kind of like my dad. I suppose that's what I like about you."

Ryder was flabbergasted, he was at a loss for words even, "Your..dad?"

"Yeah, he drinks some. And he's a little foulmouthed, but he's a nice guy. He's got a lot of heart!"

Ryder smiled, a big warm bear of a smile. Niki didn't think what she said was that touching, but Ryder did. In fact, he remembered his own mother saying something to that effect, back when he enlisted. He was dressing in his fatigues for the first time, and still needed her help buttoning it.

"_You'll do well out there, son," _she said, "_You're a fighter, with a heart so big you can barely button your coat!"_

He reached over the table, knocking a few of the plates they'd accumulated to the floor, and grabbed Niki's shoulders.

"Niki, we need to get the other campers together, quickly!"

The little wolf was surprised, "Is everything okay? What are you doing?"

"It is not what I'm doing, little one, it is what we're doing!" He smiled even wider, and Niki had to ask,

"What's that?"

"We're going to have fun today!"

…

On what was just about the exact opposite spectrum, Meth couldn't have been happier with Gouge's death. The thing he was forced to dedicate his life to killing was out of his way, and now he could enjoy life like a normal Tree Friend. He could actually do his job as counselor, and damn it he'd have the time of his life doing it! The moment Tyler and Chunky were found(They had found their own way back to the cabin, thanks to Cro-marmot expert directions.), he decided that he would take the group to a spectacular spot in the woods that he had discovered a while ago. The group was reluctant, but honestly they were much more eager to go along with Meth into the woods than go along with the camp schedule for the day, which called for arts and crafts and a game of badminton.

"Over the river and through the woods to grandmother's house we go!" Caramel and Mint had broken out into song once again, as they marched through the forest. It was cute at first, but they didn't know much of the song, and ended up singing that same verse over and over again.

"Vould you both shut the hell up!" Tyler snapped, and everyone in the group stopped dead in their tracks to stare at the cat. He'd never acted like that, but he quickly covered, "Heh, sorry guys, I didn't get much sleep last night. You know, the whole bat thing shook me and Chunks up, didn't it big guy?"

"Whuh?" Chunky wasn't paying much attention, "I mean, I suppose so. I slept like a baby though…."

"You could sleep through a hurricane Chunkster!" Tyler laughed nervously, and gave him a friendly punch on the shoulder. The other campers didn't seem to notice though, and were already following Meth again. Tyler let out a little sigh, before following after.

"So," Mint, who was walking beside Meth, "Where are we headed anyway?"

"To a very special spot," Meth said, "I used to go there when I was young."

Mint gave a questioning glance.

"It'll be amazing, trust me."

"Oh boy! I can't wait!" Caramel sprinted ahead, until she found an intersection in the trail, and looked back and forth, "Which way? Left or right? Or backwards?"

Meth chuckled and called back, "Just wait, I'll show you in a second."

And with that, Meth ran after Caramel. And Mint, noticing Meth, ran too, and Tyler ran after. Leaving only Chunky and Flaky.

"Well, I guess if you can't beat 'em…" Chunky smiled, and ran off, his enormous frame looking like a stampeding elephant when he ran. Flaky looked around, and realized she was becoming quickly alone on a brightly lit trail in mid day near a summer camp, and of course panicked, screamed, and ran after the rest of the group.

They were all sprinting, like a group of marathon runners, in the bright sun. It was really the ideal summer camp situation, if I do say so myself. The whole lot of them hardly seemed to care where they were going, and were perfectly content to run through the forest, hopping from rocks to logs and shouting at each other, laughing. They hardly even noticed that they were headed to the mountain, and began skipping over the holes that had been dug by Handy and Lumpy. But slowly, they began to realize where they were. And Meth was the first person to stop running.

"What the hell?" He screeched to a halt in the dirt, staring wide eyed at the mountain side. Soon the other campers had stopped beside him, "Look!"

An entire side of the mountain had been blown out, revealing an enormous cavern.

"Meth," Flaky asked, "Is this what you wanted to show us? Your special hideaway?"

"No," His voice was slightly angry, slightly confused, "But it looks like someone tore part of my special hideaway out of the mountain! C'mon, let's see what's up."

Meth crawled inside of the cavern, which was barely larger than himself, and motioned for the others to follow him. They each squeezed in beside each other, (Even Chunky, who nearly blocked out the sunlight in the cave) and thankfully the inside was a bit wider than the outside. Meth pulled his car keys from his jacket pocket, and lit the tiny flashlight inside to guide the group deeper.

"Well, this is definitely the cavern," He shined the flashlight around the walls, "I mean, take a look around you."

The rocky walls of the cavern were at once grainy, like sandstone, glinting like the innards of a geode, and a turquoise blue like nothing of this world. All around them, even darkened, all they could see was this blue rock around them.

Flaky nearly fainted, and Caramel felt like she was going to wet herself from excitement, but Tyler summed up everyone's emotions the best.

"Whoah." He muttered, as Meth led them deeper into the cavern. While he guided the group, he began to talk, to no one in particular,

"I found this place back when I first came to Happy Tree Town. I was wandering on the outskirts, and it started to rain," He was whispering, maybe because the atmosphere made everyone want to keep quiet, just to preserve the setting, "So I went in here, and lit a match, and I was so freaked out I almost ran into the rain."

"W-what was s-s-o creepy about it," Flaky's teeth were chattering so loud they started to echo.

"Nothing, yet," Meth smiled, "But when we get to this one chamber, the drawings,"

He stopped, abruptly, in the middle of the cavern, and held his arm out to signal a full stop. Before anyone could say anything, he held a finger up, over his mouth. In the complete silence, they could hear footsteps, a lot of footsteps. Getting closer, Meth grabbed a small rock beside his feet, and held it over his head, waiting. Then, something crossed over in front of them, from around a corner somewhere, and Meth charged.

Some growling, and a brief struggle ensued, and the entire Weeping Willow cabin ran towards the fight, even Flaky, who was unfortunately still screaming. Someone, Mint, had the common sense to grab the flashlight Meth had dropped in the struggle, and shined it over their heads, across the cavern.

It illuminated the shocked faces of the other campers, and Mint suddenly realized that there was twice as many kids in this cave than they had thought, the entire Redwood cabin was present as well. She then shined the light down on Meth, who was shocked to find he was wrestling with Ryder. The two counselors stared awkwardly, and stood up.

"Uh, hey Ryder, what's up?" Meth asked, casually brushing the dust off his jacket.

"Nothing, nothing comrade. You?" Ryder replied, shaking some pebbles from his hair.

"Just taking the Weeping Willow cabin for a tour of my secret cavern."

"Ah, that's funny comrade, you imply that this is your cavern."

"Yeah," Meth was smiling, but in reality both counselors were getting a little angry, "Not like it would be anyone else's cavern."

"Perhaps," Ryder's voice had a little growl in it, "Perhaps I found this cavern when I come to this country to kill bat."

"Or maybe I found this cavern when I came to Happy Tree Town myself!"

"Or," A third voice between the two of them suggested, "this cavern was found by a certain bear years before either of your times."

Both counselors jumped in shock, before realizing that Sniffles had someone slipped between them, and was holding a few pieces of equipment, with even more slung over his shoulder in a satchel.

"What the hell, when did you get here Sniffles?" Meth asked, trying to slow down his racing heart.

"For your information," Sniffles adjusted his glasses, "I had been here before you even came to this town. The cavern was discovered by the same man who founded our town, Pop.

"And," He continued, "I was merely studying the hieroglyphs in the next chamber over. The one Lumpy and Handy found last night escaping from the bat."

"Or," Meth added, "The ones I found years ago."

"And didn't tell us about," Sniffles rebutted, just as fast, "I can assume you all want to see them? Come along then."

The little blue anteater lit up an electric lantern, and directed the two cabins towards a small chamber that they might have missed, had Sniffles not arrived to show them. They had to crawl on their hands and knees to fit into the small opening, but once again, the inner chambers were much larger than the entrance implied, and both groups could fit easily inside of the main chamber. In fact, most of the camp could fit inside the chamber, and most of them were already inside, so to speak. Lining the walls were some primitive carvings, things that reminded one of Aztec architecture, of each and every one of the campers.

Chunky, Lifty and Shifty, Nutty, Zehuva, and even some Friends some hadn't seen yet, Like Cro-marmot and the Mole, were depicted. And some, like Pop, and Lumpy, and even Disco Bear, were given great detail. And strangely enough, even the bat monster, Gouge, was pictured, looming over a small group of Friends. Some drawings didn't even make sense, like Mumbo, who was drawn twice, each one holding the other's shoulders, and what looked like a clown with one arm, and a soldier they had never seen before, locked in a cage. Pop was pictured too, sitting on a gravestone, and holding a heart.

But strangest of all was a little white rabbit, who was pictured sitting on the wing of gouge, and also drawn beside Disco Bear, with what looked like water over its head, and on top of Cro-marmot's ice block. And the same rabbit was drawn on the shoulder of Phoenix, depicted like a large gorilla, with writing on his chest. Weird runes that almost looked made up.

Sniffles snorted, "I'm sure you're also wondering about those symbols, right? Well I've taken my hand at deciphering them, but I couldn't get too far. It's some sort of native tongue, but different from any I've seen."

"Well, what do you have?" Meth asked, and Sniffles took a little notepad from his satchel.

"It seems to say something like this,

"_The man came first, wrote the landscape, drew our faces. He hid something golden, he hid something blue. Immortality at a price. Told us stories. He told us about a man who will come next. A trespasser. He will bring a world inside ours, bring us to the edge of life, and nearly collapse the world. But,_

He paused. The campers and even the counselors were watching him with bated breath.

"Sorry, I'm all out. Some of the writing's scratched out, and some is just plain nonsense. But I did find something near the bottom."

"Do I dare ask?" Chunky whined.

Sniffles cleared his throat, "Well, the last passage says something, very, um, plain.

_Resistance Is Futile_

"But!" He was quick to calm them, fearing panic, "but I'm sure it's just nonsense. Besides, I was going to go back to camp around now, I'm getting hungry. Anyone else?"

No one answered, they were all too on-edge. But Sniffles managed to herd them out of the cavern, and out of the cave, without any fuss. Which wasn't too surprising. Not many would want to remain in that cavern after what they had just heard.

…

She knew she was safe when there was silence, and darkness as well. She didn't care for trespassers, this was supposed to be her instructions. Of course, she'd served them right, and scratched out the most important bits. When she was certain that they were gone, she hopped out from her hideaway, and replaced the idol, right where the carvings said. She smiled at its grimace, and ran her little paw across its golden surface. Then, she slowly reached up and ran her paw across the carvings on the wall, tracing them. As if she knew them by heart.

"Almost time Guv, we're gonna make it."

* * *

Remember folks, I don't do anything just for the sake of doing it. Pay attention, and you might be able to figure out what will happen later on, when things get intense.

I wonder if I'm gonna do a Dead Rising 2 soon...

Nah, this is gonna be too big to shift attention to something else.

Phoenix Reece out!


	13. Cold Company Or Cave Story

**Author's Note**

Blast you Deadliving! Damn you straight to Helheim!

I'm the only one who's supposed to know what's going to happen in this story!  
Why if I had the nerve I'd… I'd….

…

Okay, I'm calm now.

**Happy Tree Camp**

"_Cold Company" OR "Cave Story"_

_Starring  
Cro-Marmot!_

_Mime and the Oak Cabin!_

_Also featuring_

_Meth and The Weeping Willow Cabin  
and  
Ryder and The Redwood Cabin!_…

As the two groups were walking through the blue walled caverns of the bizarre mountain, led by their resident archeologist Sniffles, something unexpected hit them. The campers fell to their knees as a tremor surged through the narrow passage, threatening to collapse it on top of them. It passed quickly, but the group decided they'd need to move a bit faster, and no one was very eager to get left behind. Unfortunately, even with Sniffles' navigating the way back to the cavern's entrance, they weren't prepared for what they'd find at the end. Or, more rather, what they wouldn't find.

"Um, guys? Wasn't there a hole here, a little while ago, like the one we used to get in?"

Caramel stood near the front of the group, poking a pile of rubble where their entranceway was. Everyone else saw it just as clearly as her, but she was the only one naive enough to ask. Ryder approached it too, and tried to shove the rocks out of the way, but the entire cavern shook when he did, so they abandoned that idea quickly. It seemed as though they had become trapped.

"But this is impossible!" Sniffles began shuffling through his various charts in a panic, "I'm certain this is the same way we came in."

"Calm down poindexter," Meth said, nonplused, "I played in these caves since I was a kiddie, and I only used the entrance you blasted in the side because it was convenient. I can get us out my way."

"He speaks the truth," Ryder added in, "I know of the entrance myself, it's a bit further off, but it did lead to the chamber with the carvings. So we should be able to navigate our way back."

The other campers seemed relieved, while Sniffles was less than amused, "Well, that's all fine and dandy, but there's still the question of how this happened!"

"What's the big deal?" Ruffy called from the back of the group, "You guys blasted a hole in a mountain, and it collapsed." Some other campers chimed in, agreeing with him.

Tyler shouted out, "What do you think, someone tried to trap us?"

Sniffles, clearly nervous, tried to get away from the subject, "Fine, just drop it! I'm a little nervous is all, but we'll go ahead with Meth's plan. You sure we can get out from there?"

"Well," Meth tilted his head, thinking, "It's sort of, on the other side. What I mean is it's gonna be a heck of a walk. If we hurry we'll be around an hour."

The group groaned, but there was really no other option, so Meth, taking the lead, set out and the rest of the campers followed. Of course, some were less than thrilled about wandering around a darkened cave for an hour, much less one filled with otherworldly carvings and who's stones even looked like something alien. Flaky, to be more precise, was shivering more than she was walking, and it actually looked like she was vibrating across the stone floor beneath her. She nearly had a heart attack when she realized that someone was walking close to her, Tyler was striding beside her, calmly. And surprisingly enough, he was barely talking.

"You okay, Flakes?" He said, finally breaking their little silence.

"F-fine," She was lying, of course, "J-just a little nervous, and all, with all this freaky stuff going on."

She nearly jumped right out of her skin when he grabbed a hold of her hand, and said calmly

"Relax, Flakes. We're getting out of here fine." He smiled down at her, and she was suddenly very calm. But, even though she was much less afraid now, with someone holding her hand, her racing heart hadn't slowed a beat. In fact, it was starting to pick up, and her face was flushed an even brighter red.

…

Out by the field, in the sunlight, the Oak cabin was enjoying a quick game of baseball before lunch, and Cuddles was up to bat. Despite being the most athletic on the team, he was already on his second strike, thanks to Mime's "Creative" way of playing. The deer leaned back, clutched his hands in a knuckleball position, and lunged forward, tossing a completely imaginary ball. Cuddles was smarter this time, though, and didn't swing. But, much to his surprise, he heard a heavy _THUD_ and looked behind him to see Toothy clutching a baseball.

The rabbit looked back at the deer, and then to Toothy, and finally tossed the bat to the ground and shouted, "How the heck does he do that?" before stomping off to the bench.

Maria stepped up to the plate next, and took her place in a proper batter's stance. Ollie had decided to take Mime's place on the pitcher's mound,(In all honesty Mime only wanted to pitch that once to annoy Cuddles,) and wound up a pitch. Maria took sight of it, clenched her bat and

"_SWING!"_

She missed completely, and glared over in the direction of the noise. Lifander was sitting on the bench, gazing innocently into the blue sky above. Maria fumed for a moment, and refocused herself into the game. She narrowed her eyes, and clenched the taped handle tight as the next ball came thundering towards her and

"_JYNX!"_

Maria was so thrown off she nearly tumbled over with the bat, and completely missed another pitch. She growled and looked back at Lifander, who was calmly picking dirt out from his fingernails. He noticed her, and waved casually, before looking back down.

The panther girl was at her breaking point, and Ollie, even from the pitcher's mound, could tell. Her eye had a wicked twitch to it, and she was gritting her teeth. The raccoon was almost too afraid to pitch, and hesitated, fearing Maria's anger might spill over towards her.

Lifander took advantage of the situation, and began chanting, "Hey badda badda, hey badda badda, hey badda badda badda…"

Finally, Ollie leaned back, and let the pitch fly, with Lifander still egging Maria on. The ball glided towards her, and before anyone could react, she struck it. It was like a crack of thunder, and she nearly broke the bat, not to mention the ball went flying several hundred feet into the air, almost disappearing from sight before it came back to earth somewhere in the woods nearby.

"There! Happy? I SWUNG!" Maria screamed, and tossed the bat at Lifander, who just barely ducked in time. Ollie decided she'd want to be as far away from this as possible, and sprinted off the field and into the woods after the ball. Besides, she always did enjoy a good run, it cleared her head. She didn't go very far though, when she found it, embedded in a large chunk of ice.

Ollie, of course, spent much of her time running from place to place, and tended to miss the small details in things. A perfect example would be how she completely missed that there was a prehistoric marmot embedded in this ice, and when she yanked the baseball out of it, she didn't expect the ice to shatter. And she certainly didn't expect that prehistoric marmot to rise up out of the pieces of ice, and greet her.

Needless to say, she was a little shocked.

…

"Okay, this is ridiculous, where could she be? I mean, do we need to send a rescue party to get a moron who couldn't find a baseball?" Lifander was complaining, loudly at that, to no one in particular, as they waited for Ollie to return so they could resume the game. Finally, Maria, who was laying on the bench next to him, growled,

"Lifander, just shut up."

The cat squeaked, and looked down shamefully without another word.

Just then, Ollie emerged from the brush nearby, with a gregarious grin plastered across her face.

"Guys, you're never gonna guess who I met in the woods?"

"A bear?" Lifander quipped, but a quick glare from Maria quieted him up. Ollie stepped to the side and held her arms out to welcome her guest, Cro-marmot. Now it wasn't an odd thing to see Cro around the place. Even if he wasn't a guest at the camp he certainly had a knack for turning up where he wasn't expected.

What was surprising, was he was out of his ice block, and walking around on two feet, of course he still dragged his club behind him, and still had a mat of hair that blocked most of his face. He waved, and said(In a coherent, refined accent),

"Well hello campers! I hope I'm not intruding on your fun around here," He held up the baseball, "But this rogue projectile seems to have dislodged me from my crystalline prison, and I can't help wonder what it is."

Everyone stood there, dumbfounded by the sudden realization that the sentient block of ice was now speaking to them, in a very dignified manner at that. Finally, Cuddles managed to get out a coherent sentence, "Uh, Cro, that's a baseball, you know. From the game, baseball?"

"Based-ball?" He looked at the white sphere in his hand quizzically, "This is a based-ball? Tell me, is this based-ball anything like Unga-da?"

"Well," Cuddles was really at a loss for words, "It depends on what Unga-whatever is."

Cro smiled, and held the baseball out, "Oh it's very simple. Allow me to elucidate. You take a rock, or perhaps this ball will work," He tossed the ball in his hand a few times, checking its weight, "Yes, this will do splendidly."

He began to demonstrate, leaning backwards and pulling his arm back, "You just aim straight up, and with one swift toss you,

"**UNGA DA!"**

Cro let the ball fly, with such force that none of the campers could even get a quick glance at it before it flew out of orbit. And so, they stood, wide-eyed and horrified at what just happened, barely even noticing the loss of their ball. Cro, sensing the awkwardness of this all, glanced around, and checked the sun-dial watch strapped to his wrist, before clearing his throat and asking,

"Well, I don't suppose anyone would care for a bite to eat?"

…

So the Oak cabin treated their guest to lunch at the mess hall, it was grilled cheese today, though Cro-Marmot preferred a simple cup of tea and dark toast, and they chatted for a while, about the camp experience so far. Cro was shocked to hear about the bat monster that had attacked the camp recently, and nearly lost his tea when they told him it was defeated by a group of young girls. He couldn't contain himself though, and suddenly had to tell a story of his own.

"I can't help but think," He mused, sipping his tea, "About how your story has reminded me of a few legends, passed down from my time."

"Wait a minute, how could you have legends, about this place?" Lifander interrupted, "Aren't you from some other island, or the northlands, or some other place? I mean how would you have ever gotten frozen here?"

"Well," Cro Smiled, "I don't like to brag, but I'm a bit older than you'd think. In fact, I was around when this place was frozen over, and Mt. Montijo was a temple."

The campers hushed, some were amazed, and others skeptical, but everyone wanted to hear what he had to say now.

"Oh yes, I speak the truth. My people were the nomads who walked this earth first. Of course, I was not the very first generation, but I knew a thing or two. My people had this legend, if you can believe it, about the one who came first. An all-powerful being that, well this is where it get's crazy, that drew the landscape with an ink pen, and colored the world with paint. He then blessed the land with our curse, the immortality curse. They called him an Animator, and named what was then the temple of Montijo after him."

He paused to sip his tea again, everyone was holding their breath on his next word, "I have to be honest, these next parts I can barely believe myself, and I'm a prehistoric marmot that's telling a history lesson to some immortal campers. You see, the people made a deal with some aliens, things they called Authors, who were capable of jumping through dimensions. The Authors made a material, that cured them of their immortality, and they fashioned the temple out of it. In fact, they made artifacts of it and put them in their homes to protect from this curse. But this only made the great Animator angry, and he made it so that anyone without this material would not only be immortal, but die without end."

The room fell silent, everyone knew exactly to what he was referring, and even though it was their daily life, it was still hell. Cro seemed to know exactly what he was saying though, and continued undeterred,

"And they tell of a day, my ancestors, and even my peers, that another Author will come to this world. He will endanger everyone's lives, but his presence would create the greatest chance of our lives. A chance to be free."

He stopped, and sipped his tea again, as if to say he wasn't sure what he'd say next. Thankfully, Mumbo had arrived to clean their plates and broke the silence,

"Hoo-ee, that is one hell of a story," he chuckled, " My momma had some old wives tales that she told me too. Said that there was a devil in all of us, and all it took was a bit of bad juju to wake 'em up. 'Course, you can't go believing everything ya here, eh?"

The croc nudged Cro with his elbow, and the marmot couldn't help but laugh, "I suppose it is a bit silly then, isn't it?"

"There's a smile!" Mumbo gave a toothy grin, "Now let's see if I can't rustle up some snacks for you kids to take on the road."

He slinked back into the kitchen, and before he returned, Russell came to the table, holding a bowl of clam chowder.

"Excuse me, laddies, but did he say something about me?"

Everyone looked at each other, and back to Russel, before breaking down laughing.

The otter blushed, "What? I don't trust that old witch doctor! I know some sailors that got turned into pigs!"

…

It was just around sundown, when the Redwood Cabins and the Weeping Willow cabin safely exited the cave, on the other side of the mountain. Meth was first out, and gloated,

"Hah! I told you Ryder, it was left at the moist looking chamber, and another right at the rounded one! You guys would've been running in circles all day if it weren't for me!"

"Yeah yeah," Ryder, right behind him was less than thrilled, "I heard growling down that way, I just didn't want these children to end up Wumpus food."

Sniffles was right behind them, still clutching his maps, "I still don't get what was going on there, I checked that entrance earlier, everything was intact!"

The rest of the campers poured out, each eager to see the setting sun and get a breath of fresh air. In fact, the only ones who didn't rush out were Flaky and Tyler, who were still holding hands when the exited the cave. They purposely let the rest of the cabin get ahead of them, so they could have a moment alone.

"Now, are you finally gonna tell me what's bothering you?" Tyler asked, and Flaky blushed,

"Well, I suppose, you only mean well." She said, "I kinda, well. You know Phoenix? He's a lot smarter than he looks, and he's got some kind of special powers, he calls himself an Author. And, well I'm still not certain of what he can do, but he calls it 'Phenomenal Cosmic Powers!'. How crazy is that?"

"Wow, Um.." Tyler scratched his neck, nervously.

"Oh my god," Flaky turned bright red, " You must think I'm crazy!"

"No, that's not it at all. I just feel, sorry for you. You don't really deserve this."

Flaky paused a moment, her heart was fluttering, "Well, what do you think I deserve?"

Tyler smiled, and leaned in, slowly pressed his lips against hers. Flaky fought him a moment, but she weakened, and they pressed harder. Flaky suddenly felt Tyler's mouth open, and something that felt like smoke poured into her mouth. She nearly cried, nearly screamed, but she didn't get the chance. Her eyes flickered purple, and then it was too late.

Tyler, meanwhile, slowly let go of her, his memory slowly returning. First he was staring down a corpse in a cave, next thing he knew he was pressed against Flaky in the woods.

"What the heck? Where am I?"

Flaky pushed him away, "You were about to rape me you freak! I'm gonna call the cops!"

She stomped off, leaving Tyler alone, but only for a moment. He was horrified, and ran after her to try and figure out just what was going on. And, unbeknownst to them, someone saw them. Two people in fact, and Lifty and Shifty were feeling pretty lucky with the few pictures they were able to snap of the 'loving couple'.

With their trademark snicker, the two raccoon brothers ran off into the woods, keeping well out of sight of the counselors.

* * *

Welll well well, what do we have here.

I love doing this story, I really do. Because I get to have so much fun with OCs!

And I know it must look weird doing some cabins twice in a row(Especially one that my OC is in) but I needed to finish up their little story, and I didn't want the last chapter to go too long.

See y'all on Friday. Till then,

Phoenix Reece AWAY!  
*grappling hook*


	14. Bass Master and The Cold Fish

**Author's Note**

Ah, here we are again.

Sorry if it's a bit late, some stuff came up. You know, the real world's always hasslin' me.

Don't forget to check my profile page after you read, I've got a new poll up, and your responses make me giggle. Anyhow, kick back and enjoy..

**Happy Tree Camp!**

"_The Bass Master and The Cold Fish"_

_Starring_

_Disco and The Sugar Maple Cabin!_

_Also Featuring Russell,_

_Pippy!_

...

With the scent of fish and water in the air, Russell was at home. He'd never thought he'd be mentoring young children in the arts of watercraft, angling, and knot tying, but here he was. He was the boating instructor, man if his mother could see him now she'd be amazed. Actually, if his mother could see him now she'd demand her gold teeth back, and ask him why he never called anymore, but that was beside the point. Right now he was on top of the world, though he'd prefer a little more salt in the air, and sat on his personal dock beside the boat house, threading the lines for a few campers coming today to fish. The fishing poles were very basic, metal rods with line attached to them and no reeling mechanism. If you wanted to catch a fish, you'd have to pull it out of the water yourself. And the bait was pretty subpar too, some of the other counselors didn't approve of jamming hooks through live worms, so instead they were using balls of dough sweetened with sugar.

It was hardly a sailor's way of doing things, but Russell could compromise. He'd gotten up early this morning to prepare, he was so excited, and now in about ten minutes he was certain the next bunch of campers would arrive. Although, technically, they would be the first, the other groups hadn't arrived yet.

_I have a dream, a song to sing  
That helps me cope, with anything_

Russell put down his fishing line, and held an ear out. Either someone was singing, or his hearing was starting to go. No, someone was definitely singing, and they were close, he could hear some sweet little Irish voice and it sounded like it was coming from above him. He looked up at the boathouse, but couldn't see onto the roof. He pushed a wooden barrel he had filled with chum over to the wall of the wooden shack, and pulled himself up, carefully, onto the aging roof. It creaked so much as he did, that the otter was almost certain he'd break through it trying to get up. But he could see her now, a little white rabbit sitting cross legged on top of the boathouse. He almost wanted to say something to her, but she kept singing, and it was almost enchanting.

_If you see the wonder, of a fairy tale  
You can take the future, even if you fail_

_I believe in angels, something good in everything I see  
I believe in angels, when I know the time is right for me._

_I'll cross the stream.  
I have a dream._

Russell wiped a single, salty tear from his good eye, and almost clapped, before he remembered his hooks. So he settled for a single,

"Bravo!"

The rabbit's fur stood on end, and she turned to see some strange pirate watching her, and squeaked in terror. Without hesitation, she jumped from the roof onto the dock and ran into the boathouse, slamming the door behind her. Russell wanted to chase after her, but at that moment he heard a group, chatting and laughing on their way to the boathouse. It was the next group of campers, he realized, and jumped off the barrel of chum before they got close, and tried to look busy. He wasn't sure why he was trying to cover up seeing that rabbit, but he had a bad feeling about this.

"Sailor's got to trust his intuition," Russell mumbled, as he went back to threading hooks. The moment the campers arrived though, he jumped up and put on a swashbuckling act, "Ahoy lassies, and, er, lad, and welcome to the greatest pastime around, fishing!"

Of course, the campers were less than thrilled. No matter how you disguise it, these girls were about to sit on a bug infested dock and wait around for something to bite their lines while they got bitten by mosquitoes. The only nice thing about it was that they'd be in the warm summer sun, and Lammy was happy about that.

"I mean, maybe we can work on our tans, huh girls?" She said with an unusual chipper tone.

"Lammy, first off, you wear a sweater," Petunia said, flatly, "Second, we have fur."

Lammy looked down, embarrassed, "Oh, yeah."

The girls, and Frost grabbed their fishing poles, and reached into the bucket of sticky, sweetened dough to bait their hooks. After a few pricked fingers and a gaggle of sticky paws, they took their places on the dock. Frost was far off on the left, alone by choice. Beside him, was Disco, alone by popular vote. The two boys were like an island at sea, and so Disco decided he'd do the friendly thing and start up a conversation,

"So, kid, you always this cold?"

"I am named Frost," The cat said back, without looking from his line.

"Right, forgot," Disco sighed, "Well, how about that girl of yours, what was her name?"

"Flurry," His tone suddenly shifted, almost like he was melting, "She's a heck of a girl, I'll tell you."

"Why couldn't she come to camp?"

"She never got an invite. Only certain people got invited, and my parents didn't want me to miss the experience. Worst part is I never got to tell her why I went without her."

"That's no big deal."

"Are you kidding me? She might think I was just abandoning her or something like that."

"She wrote you that letter, didn't she?" Disco said, tugging his line a little, felt like something, but it was just seaweed. Frost nearly fell off the dock in surprise,

"How did you know about that letter?"

"Rummaged through your stuff last night, but that's not the point," Disco said, and for a moment Frost forgot about the invasion of his privacy.

"Well, what is the point?"

Disco paused for a moment, and all Frost could hear was the lapping of water up on the dock, and the chatting of the girls nearby. Disco sighed, and finally asked, "You ever read poetry?"

"Sometimes, why?"

"I read some, it was a Spanish guy, Pablo something. Any way he wrote a poem called, 'Your Feet'"

"Was that some kind of fetish poem? Because Disco, I'm not exactly in the mood for that kind of joke,"

"Hey, c'mon now, be serious," Disco told him, " It was a serious love poem. The last line from it, gimme a sec, it was a while since I heard the poem,

_But I love your feet, only because  
They walked upon earth and wind and waters,  
until they found me._

There was another silence between the two, while Frost tried in vain to figure out exactly what had just been said to him. But, he finally gave in and asked Disco what that verse was supposed to mean.

"Not getting it, huh? Neither do I. But if I had to take a wild stab at it, I'd say it meant something like this. Your girlfriend, Flurry, right? Well Flurry sure as hell ain't going to walk away now, over something as little as this, is she? She walked enough, and she barely needs her feet anymore, cause she found someplace to stand."

"I suppose not."

"Now cheer up chief, strike a pose, it's what Disco does!" He gave a double thumbs up,and winked at Frost, nearly dropping his fishing poll in the process. But he managed to grab it before it fell into the water, and the sight of it managed to get Frost to laugh.

"So, do we have a post office around here?"

"We certainly do, Lumpy delivers it every weekened. I suppose you're going to be sending a letter back to her?"

"She sent me this letter because she wasn't sure where I was going. She actually handed it to my parents the night before I left, and they gave it to me when I got on the bus. It was a bit of a trip, you know? I had to leave a day in advance because I live in a town over. Took a bus to Happy Tree Town, waited for the bus at the town square."

"Fun trip."

"Hey Disco, how are you all sensitive and wise when you're talking to me, but you act like an idiot around the girls?"

"I dunno, just suppose it's easier to talk to you than a chick. You understand the way I lay things down."

Frost smiled and went back to casting his line. Neither of them had caught anything yet, and they'd been there for a good hour. Judging from all the splashing and cheering coming from the other side of the docks, the girls were having much better luck then them, and Disco decided to sneak a glance.

"Look at that!" Disco shouted, and Frost looked over too, "They got a bucket! Russell gave them a bucket to keep the fish they're catching in!"

As they watched from across the docks, they saw Blade start tugging on her fishing line, hard. She even stood up, and was struggling to hold onto the poll. The other girls grabbed on too, and even they couldn't pull whatever she had hooked. Disco and Frost nodded to each other, before running over and grabbing onto the poll themselves. Whatever it was, it weighed a ton, and was fighting them every step of the way, before, finally with one last tug from the group the fish was thrown out of the water and into the air. It was a Marlin, a huge, sixteen foot, crested, sharp nosed beast of the sea, and what it was doing in this lake was beyond any of them. In fact, the only thing on their minds was getting out of the way, because they had hoisted it a couple feet into the air when they pulled it out, and now it was falling back down to earth.

And of course, the only one not to jump out of the way in time was Disco, and the fish landed on top of the frightened bear, pinning him to the ground as it flopped madly on top of him. Everyone, Frost included, couldn't help but break down laughing at his plight.

…

She couldn't tell anymore, she been in this stupid little shack, playing around with the hooks and fish carcasses for what must have been hours. Hopefully he'd be gone by now, it was sun down after all, and that freaky pirate must have somewhere better to go than this boathouse at night. She slowly approached the door, pushing away the barrel, the piles of wood and the oar she'd barricaded herself in with. But, the moment she did she heard creaking on the wood planks outside, and saw his shadow under the door. She cursed quietly in some weird tongue when she heard the knocking.

"Hey, lassie, you still in there? The little rabbit, girl, thing?" There was no response from inside. Russell sighed, and placed a plate of food on the ground, "I know you've been in there for a while, I brought you something to eat. It's fish, I hope you don't mind. Mumbo cooked it over some rice, and it's pretty tasty.

"Slide it under the door!" She shouted, almost frightening Russell.

"I can't, it'll squish it."

"Fine, then just come in." She pouted, and Russell slowly opened the door. She was sitting on a small cot in the corner, underneath a canoe he'd been repairing. He walked over and placed the plate on her lap, and she immediately began digging in with her messy little paws.

"So, I be Cap'm Russell, boating instructor. Who be you?"

"Pippy. A rabbit." She said, wiping her mouth with her own furry little arm.

"Sheesh, haven't you ever heard of a utensil?"

She answered with a mouthful of food, "Never 'ad one. Just my 'ands. What you get when ya live in a cave."

"A cave? What in the world were ye in a cave for?"

"My dad thought it was best. Blimey bastard."

"Yikes, how long have ye been livin' there?"

"'ard ta tell. When ya split yer time wanderin' through a cave in pitch black, eatin' bat guano and eatin' bats ya don't usually keep track a things like that."

"Well, gosh, what are you doing here?"

"Lookin' fer some things. Nothin' that'd concern ya though." She had already polished off the fish and was licking her plate now. Russell almost mistook her for something cute.

"Well, I suppose it be none of my business. But, where would you be planning on sleeping?"

"Woods, probably, in fact I'm leaving now." She stood up, placed the saliva soaked plate in Russell's lap, and brushed off her dusty, torn little skirt and went to leave the boathouse before Russell called her back,

"Now wait a doggone minute, lassie! You can't just go sleeping in the woods, I mean, there's wild creatures out there."

"Don't suppose there's anywhere else I can stay. My dad's sulking around here, and he'd be ticked if 'e saw me."

"Well, why not stay here, in this here boathouse! I got this extra mattress right here and,"

"Who the 'ell in their right mind would sleep on a grubby old mattress in a drafty boathouse?"

"Well," Russell mused, "I usually sleep here."

Pippy froze in her tracks. She certainly wasn't a nice little girl, but she'd never insult someone who had been so kind to her a few moments ago. She frowned, and walked back inside the boathouse,

"Well, I mean, when ya put it that way, it does seem kinda comfy." She sat down on the mattress, and felt it with her paw, "A' course that'd mean you'd 'ave nowhere to sleep, ya know?"

"Oh, I'd make do with one of these old canoes, just needs a blanket or two to keep me warm. I'd be happy to give a lassie like you a place to sleep. Can you make do with that grubby old mattress?"

He didn't get any response at first. Then a low grumble. He looked over and saw Pippy, fast asleep and snoring up a storm. He chuckled a little, and went to the cupboard to find a spare blanket, before laying down in one of the old, cracked canoes.

* * *

Once again, sorry for the lateness.

And sorry for the strange plot settings.

And sorry that I drank the last cold soda in your fridge. Yeah, that was me.

Well, I suppose I don't have much else to say. I mean-  
Wait, did Russell just befriend a lady singing by the sea?

Eh, probably nothing.

Phoenix out!


	15. Soul Shuffle

**Author's Note**

Ah, I almost forgot, last chapter!  
That little verse Pippy sings isn't my original work; it's actually "I Have a Dream" By ABBA.

Anyway, I assure you that nothing else crazy will happen. Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

*ahem*

**Happy Tree Camp!**

"_Soul Shuffle"_

_Starring  
Meth & the Weeping Willow Cabin_

The draw slid open on the mahogany desk, and out of it he fished a small blue necklace. It was carved in the shape of a leaf, imprinted with the veins and ridges of one for authenticity. Pop fiddled it between his fingers for a moment, and then struck a match on the coarse desk to light his pipe. When he spoke to Sniffles, standing across the desk, he kept his gaze fixated on the little amulet.

"We can't afford to panic them, sir. Perhaps we should wait," Sniffles said, he was walking on eggshells, and his voice showed.

"This was the same amulet, Sniffles," Pop was ignoring him, "Same one that she came here wearing. Said it was a gift from her father, a family heirloom."

"Sir, we need to talk," Sniffles knew he wasn't going to get far with Pop, he never had.

"That's how she died, Sniffles, trying to rescue our son. Death and destruction all around us, and she was the only one who wasn't touched. Perished, trying to rescue our boy from drowning."

"Sir, what are you trying,"

"At the bonfire tonight, we give out the ones you made." Pop said, coldly, "I'm sure that's sufficient enough instructions, you may leave now."

Sniffles cringed, stifling his own anger and regret, and turned to leave. But, at the last moment, before exiting the office, his anger allowed itself to rear,

"I can't do this!" He shouted, he was almost crying, "The thought that we almost tested poison on these children is horrible enough, but now? Now we're going to put some hokey amulet that you're not even sure of the value? What if they die sir? What then?"

The pipe fell from Pop's mouth, and landed on the desk, dashing glowing embers across it, and he slammed his hand down on the flames in anger, "I will only tell you this once Sniffles, and only once. I came here as a leader of a colony. And when that disaster killed us, we returned, and I gave that amulet to a young hunter. It was passed along from person to person, and when those people died, natural or not, they stayed dead. And that was two hundred and sixty-five years ago Sniffles. Is that value enough for you?"

The anteater couldn't respond, and for a moment could only stifle his whimpering, and turned to leave. Pop waited a moment, for the door to close and for Sniffles' steps to get quieter, to pull his hands off the table. The embers were cooled now, but had burned marks into his left hand. Normally, he wouldn't be concerned about a minor injury, one that he could easily heal, but the amulet was still clutched in his right.

…

He had let the campers out, for the time being, and now Meth had some quality time to himself, to smoke a bit and enjoy the atmosphere. He wasn't sure exactly where they went, but with the bat dead, the scariest thing in the woods was, well him. Ryder came to visit him, with his group in tow, almost as if to compliment him,

"Well, I suppose we're two out of work soldiers, aren't we comrade?"

Meth smiled, with his lips still wrapped around the cigarette, "You are. I'm, well I'm not sure what I am now."

"A freak?" Ryder said, though it was obvious he was only joking around.

"I suppose so," Meth took it in good humor, "But unlike you I've got an advantage in life."

"And what would that be?"

"You had a life before hand, I didn't." It was a grim fact, true, but Meth almost seemed proud of it, "You spent your life in the military, and you've got a family and history to drag you down. Me, I spent most of my life in a test tube. That's what being a genetic experiment gets you."

The two men began laughing uncontrollably, which was a little odd for Ryder's group of campers. He had sort of forgotten they were there, and got a little loose with his past. Niki in particular had to ask,

"Wait, you were born in a test tube?" She was at once amazed and terrified.

"Don't be stupid, stupid," DJ said, "Nobody can genetically create a bear. Not yet…"

Meth smiled, "Yeah, that was nothing but a joke. You kids need to lighten up."

He and Ryder exchanged smiles that the campers weren't exactly happy with. But, nevertheless, Ryder dismissed the children, he told them it was time for lunch anyway, and he needed to talk to Meth alone. The group dispersed, and once he was sure they were out of earshot, Ryder asked,

"So, what was up with the lie?"

…

"Are you sure they went this way?" Chunky asked. He was still carrying a handful of acorns, that Caramel had asked Tyler and him to round up. It had something to do with making necklaces, he wasn't too sure.

"Well, I sure hope they are. I need to speak with Flaky," Tyler was clearly frazzled, "I tell you, it was the weirdest thing. I get knocked out in the cave with you and the next thing I know I'm swapping spit with Flaky, and she blames me!"

"Tyler, it didn't happen like that," Chunky finally decided to drop his acorn, "you led me out of the cave, and then you were holding hands with Flaky that day."

"Then why don't I remember it?" Tyler was so upset he fell face first into the grass, "I suppose the only good thing about this was that nobody was around."

Before Chunky could say anything, he heard some familiar snickering. Lifty and Shifty were standing nearby, waving a Polaroid picture. At first, the two didn't know what to make of it, but Shifty took the photo from his brother, and walked over with a giant grin over his face.

"Now, I wouldn't say, nobody was around," He laughed, waving the photo in front of Tyler's nose, "In fact there were two guys who happened to have observed what went on that night. And I wouldn't exactly say their names were nobody. Would you, Lifty?"

His brother laughed, and grabbed the photo out of his hands, "No Shifty, neither of those guys were named nobody. In fact I know both their names."

Tyler was terrified, he jumped up to grab the photo, but the brothers kept it safely out of his reach,

"Hah! Care to get it back?" Shifty laughed, "Ten acorns!"

Tyler hesitated, ten acorns was all the money his mother had given him in case of an emergency, but this was an emergency if ever there was one. So he frantically searched his pockets, and passed them the coins. The two laughed, and tossed the glossy to Tyler who fell to his knees at the sight of it. It certainly was a picture of him kissing Flaky; in fact he almost looked like he was forcing it on the poor girl, pressing her up against a rock.

His ears perked up at a whistle, Chunky was looking down on the picture. The koala seemed very, interested in it, and Tyler quickly pulled it away.

"We gotta find Flaky, I need to apologize."

Chunky snickered, "Apologize? She should be thanking you, Casanova."

Tyler glared at him, and Chunky nervously backed off the subject. They decided to head after the girls, but they had no idea where they could have gone, so of course they did the logical thing, and wandered into the woods. Thankfully, before they could do the logical thing, they ran across Cro-Marmot, who(After some initial shock about his defrosted state), explained that he saw the girls heading out into the forest together. So, in actuality, they wandered into the woods.

…

It was the oddest thing, a timid little porcupine who was known for her paranoia and fear of expedition, had woken up this morning and told the girls in her cabin of a grand scheme. She had seen, sometime over the course of night when they were being harassed by Gouge, a strange artifact that they simply had to see. And they simply had to get rid of the boys, she said, and had devised a plan for such an occasion. She told them that Caramel had to ask Chunky to go get a bunch of acorns, and that Tyler needed to accompany them, so that when the time came they could ditch the boys and head into the woods alone.

Needless to say, it was a little out of character. But the girls were up for anything, since Meth had pretty much told them he wasn't going to take them out for any sort of activities. And everything Caramel and Mint came up with paled in comparison to ditching the boys and heading out on their own treasure hunt.

Caramel couldn't stop giggling, in fact, and her face was beginning to hurt from laughter, "I can't believe it! I mean, you, Flaky, this is just so cool! Did you really find an ancient artifact?"

"I most certainly did Carrie," Flaky was leading the group, another first, but a welcome one, "It'll really knock you guys out. I mean it, you'll never be the same."

And boy, they didn't know how seriously Flaky meant it. They found a little clearing, and Flaky told the other girls to turn around, while she removed the "Precious artifact" from where she had hidden it, just beneath the surface of the dirt. She dug amongst the twigs and dried leaves on the forest floor, worrying that she may just have forgotten where it was. After all, it had been at least forty years since he found it, and another fifteen on top of that since he'd heard of what they were from that old native living in his woods. She hit something hard just beneath the dirt, and smiled broadly at the sight of it again. She gave the signal to the others.

"Alright girls, take a gander at this!" Flaky held outstretched, a large blue urn, carved with dozens of strange symbols, that almost looked like tree friends. Just like the ones they had seen in the cave.

"I wasn't too sure of what it was, but once we saw the carvings in the mountain I was certain of it," She said, turning it over in her hands, " It's a Montijan spirit urn!"

"Whoah!" Caramel snatched it out of Flaky's hands, and held it up to the sky. Then, she suddenly paused, and gave Flaky a concerned look, "I don't know what that is."

Mint nodded her head, as if to say neither did she, her mime training had started late that morning and she was still going silent.

"Well, it's part of an old legend," Flaky explained, "That the Montijans, the first people to live in this land, kept their spirits in jars when they passed on. They roamed the spirit world by night, and slept in these jars in the daylight. This one looks like it was owned by some dancer, or something. They were carved with things that the person loved in their life, to symbolize them."

Caramel, still holding the jar tight, looked around its sides. It was engraved with musical notes, and a lanky lizard bowing and dancing all over it. Then, peered into its wide opening, and asked,

"How'd you suppose a soul gets in here?"

But before she could get an answer, she felt something club her in the side of the head, and blacked out almost instantly. Flaky stood over her, grimly eyeing the raccoon, who slumped over with the jar still in her arms and her head bleeding onto the jar's surface. In one paw the porcupine was clutching a pointed rock, damp with Caramel's blood. Mint stood nearby, horrified, but unable to scream and still not fully comprehending what was going on, she just stood.

Flaky saw her soon enough, though, and before the little mime could run, Flaky, or whatever it was, pressed her up against a tree, with the rock still in hand, nearly puncturing her throat. Something sinister flared up in the porcupine's eyes, and Mint came just close to screaming. Whatever was holding her hostage wasn't Flaky, it was something wearing her skin.

"You're going to be a nice, quiet little girl, aren't you?" The thing said to her, "You're going to watch the show. And when I'm finished, and I've got a nice, empty body to wear, I'm going to put you and this porcupine to sleep."

Mint's body went cold, save for her steaming hot tears running down her face, as Caramel lay, bleeding out in front of her still clutching that pot. And her blood was pouring out at an unnatural rate, and filing in every crevice in the urn, tracing through the drawings engraved in it like a river of crimson. And then, when the last line of blood crossed the strange pot, it began to glow a brilliant blue, against the red veins of blood and poured out a thick plume of purple smoke. Caramel, who was immobile all through this, suddenly threw her head back and snapped her eyes open, revealing white, pupil-less and soulless eyes. And her mouth slowly opened, to let out a similar purple fog, that coalesced with the thick, swirling cloud that was forming above them.

Without warning, Flaky threw Mint to the ground, and approached Caramel's body, opening her mouth and letting out a ghastly screech, like a bat, and threw her hands up to the clouding sky like she was speaking to a dark, evil god.

…

"Okay, so tell me again how you knew?" Asked a very irritated Phoenix to a very innocent looking Blade. She had very boldly approached Phoenix, who assumed he was perfectly covert with his actual identity, and flat out knew of his status as Author. So he had to stop his work, completely, to figure out exactly who squealed.

"Well, you see," She was nervously twisting her foot in the dirt, "When Zehuva told me you were an Author, and you were gonna make it so she married Flippy, but I didn't believe her at first. But just now, when I yelled out 'Hey Author dude!" and you answered, it was sort of obvious."

"I see," Phoenix adjusted his glasses, "Well, what do you want from me again?"

"Well, Mr. Phoenix Author Sir, what I really want is a happy ending. You know, in your story? I just never had any luck finding love and I was hoping you could help."

Phoenix, who seemed to be at his wit's end, smiled and said, "No. Not in my book, not Zehuva either. Maybe you could get another Author or even an Animator to make something like that happen."

"Well, where in the world would I find one of them?"

Phoenix's smile got wider, like a perverse Cheshire cat, "Well, I happen to know a fellow who could help you out. Are you familiar with a Mr. Doug Winger?"

Blade cocked her head to the side, "I can't say I am. He can get me a boyfriend?"

"Oh certainly," He had to hold back from laughing, "Of course he can! In fact I'm sure I have his number here somewhere…"

He searched a moment in his pockets, before giving up and deciding he'd need to return to his shack for a moment. He glanced to the sky for just a moment, who knows why, but then he saw the dark purple clouds, swirling over the woods. The first thought to cross his mind was,

"I'm late," He spoke low, and Blade asked him what was the matter, "Nothing, I just, need to get going. Go to the mess hall, you're late too."

He left her with only that, and Phoenix pushed his cleaning supplies to the edge of the forest, before leaving the cart there and running out towards it. He didn't even need to glance over his shoulder, though, to know Blade was following behind him.

…

Flaky, no, the Thing began to breathe, deeper and deeper into the cloud of wispy, glowing smoke that was forming around It. It laughed, something inhuman, and the smoke even poured out of Its gaping maw, joining the cloud that had come from the jar, and from Caramel. It was some sort of ungodly ritual, there was no doubt. Perhaps they were all being sacrificed, or maybe, as that Thing said, their bodies were being handed over to It.

And Mint couldn't do anything about it. She was a little mime, silent, helpless, and above all frightened. She had never been so afraid in her life, and she couldn't even scream. She just wanted something to hear her thoughts, someone to come and save her, because she was too scared to move. She couldn't even see the setting sun anymore, through the smoke.

But, the only thing that knew, the only other one who understood her fear, was watching. Phoenix, he was unsure of what to do, as he stood by, near the clearing, hidden so obviously beside a nearby tree. He hadn't even gone through the trouble of concealing himself, he knew that Gouge, in his state, would be too absorbed with the ritual to notice him. But, he was almost feeling guilty, he wanted to stop it now. But, then who knows how the story would end. He had written it, and if it was to go as planned, he'd have to sit by and watch.

"Blade, don't think poorly of me." He spoke just loud enough for the badger to hear him, "I'm not doing this because I hate you."

She walked up beside him, carefully, "What's going on?"

"Something terrible, something I'm going to have to endure," When he spoke like this, Phoenix tried his best to repress his emotions, but some slipped out, a quiver on a word, or even a slight pause, "Being an Author is hard like that sometimes, you gotta play with people's lives to do your best and make them better. But, you're lucky. You can just sleep through it."

She wasn't sure, just exactly what he had meant right there, but before she could react, it became clear. Phoenix grabbed her throat with his enormous hands, wrapping around her so much that he needed only three fingers to constrict her windpipe, and the other two obscured her eyes. She struggled for a moment, but it was hopeless, and the pressure in her head eventually made her slip into darkness. Phoenix let out a sigh, the moment she stopped moving, and dropped her to the ground.

And then he left. Left before the ritual was over, left before he could see another plume of smoke slip from Blade's mouth. And before he could see the smoke flow into each unconscious girl's mouth, and before one last plume escaped into the air, with no body to find, and one entered the jar. And he wasn't there to see Chunky and Tyler find Mint huddled against a tree, with Flaky unconscious and Caramel trying her best to console her. He didn't see Tyler fall to Flaky's side, while Chunky ran to the camp to try and find help.

He didn't need to. He'd written it.

But, as he walked, with that burden resting heavy on his shoulders, something came to him, someone. Someone he didn't account for. A little, nearly unnoticeable figure slipped from behind a tree into his path, and he froze with fear. And he had no choice, but to stand and listen to her speak those awful words.

"Hello Dad."

* * *

I'm sure some of you noticed, I completely skipped Monday's chapter. Well, I'm sorry, but things are getting tight over on my end.

Nothing to worry about, but if you're curious I'm going to be in a play! We're doing "It's a Wonderful Life" and yours truly will be playing Mr. Potter.

Tonight's opening night, wish me luck!  
(Oh, and DL, I can't seem to reply to your PM, but the answer's yes!)


	16. Chapter ID: 000016

**Author's Note**

'Scuse me, we're having a moment.

Pippy: Yeah, you guys really gotta stop inerruptin' where ya not wanted.

Phoenix: Seriously.

**Happy Tree Camp**

Pippy woke up early that morning, trying to get away from her new friend, before Russell got caught up in her life story. But, such was not the case, and the old salt found her sneaking out the shack door, and offered her breakfast. Now, one might say that the rough little rabbit was beginning to soften up to the old sea captain, but really it was her stomach that held her tight by his side. While they walked to the mess hall, Pippy drooling over the thought of another hot meal, Russell decided to try a hand at getting her to talk.

He tried to ask her about herself. Not much luck, she didn't play any games, have any friends, or seen any movies. But, he did finally stumble upon something that piqued her interest.

"So, about that little song ye be singing," He finally asked, and Pippy's ears perked up, " last night, what was that?"

"Me dad taught it to me, 'e sang a lot when 'e visited me."

"In the caves?"

"Well, e's not the best father, but e'd come by and visit once and a while. 'e was just busy, is all. Like, a while back, me dad knew 'ow lonely I was, so 'e made me a friend. Noticed I was always playin' wit the ants nearby the cave, so 'e made me one to play wit, and to watch me."

"Made you, an ant?"

"A big 'un."

Russell shook his head at the naive little girl, and opened the door to let her in the mess hall. The breakfast was scrambled eggs and sausage, which was heaven sent to a rabbit who had been picking the meat off of whatever she found in her cave. She ate like she'd never seen a decent meal in her life, and judging by her smell, Russell would wager she wasn't lying about having to eat bat guano.

"So, what kind of guy is your father any way, leaving a sweet, little lass like yourself to a cave?"

"Me dad's alright, don't be so 'ard on 'im. 'E's just busy, is all. Says 'e's got a whole lotta work that needs to be done. And I've seen it meself, read some a 'is work."

"I didn't mean any disrespect, it's just not right, ye hear?" Russell's voice became very intense, unlike his usually cool, sea salt tone, "A papa can't be leaving a kid like yeself alone in a dank cave. Ye oughta be out with other kiddies, playing tiddly winks or what have ye."

Russell realized he was shouting, and suddenly fell silent. Pippy mashed the eggs in front of her for a moment, before responding,"I love me dad, 'e's a good guy, 'e is. I just worry about all 'e's been doing. People are gonna get 'urt."

Russell hesitated for a moment, thinking he'd hurt the little girl's feelings, but ventured to ask, "Pippy, who is yer dad? I mean, what could he possibly be up to that might hurt someone?"

"'E wouldn't like me mentioning 'is name, but 'e's the tall fella, wit not a bit of fur on 'im but for his head. And I was reading one a 'is stories, and usually the stories 'e writes are pretty and fun. And usually they got music in 'em, but this one, it's got a lotta rough edges. And people die."

Russell was frightened, something about something so abysmal coming from the mouth of babes was just awful. And a superstitious sailor he was, he didn't want to know more, but he feared he'd need to know more before this story happened.

"Like," She went on without him asking, "This one time 'e wrote about a koala that fell in love with a skunk, a little mushy, but it was kinda funny too. And another time 'e wrote a 'ella ova story 'bout this crocodile that tricked a town into drinking some potion that made all of 'em go crazy. I always loved that 'un."

The otter couldn't believe what he was hearing, that this rabbit was recalling their town's history, practically. Sure, it was a few obscure events, but she knew about them very well. Either this man was a reporter, and wrote his stories about Happy Tree Town, or something much more sinister was at hand with this father.

No, not a father. If he knew this man correctly, this man couldn't be the father of a rabbit. And judging by Pippy's description, Russell knew exactly who he was. But, he decided he couldn't break this little rabbit's heart just yet. She couldn't know, so when Pippy asked if she knew his father, he told her he'd seen him working around, and pointed her where she'd most likely find him.

…

But she didn't find him at his cleaning shack, or scrubbing the latrines, or by the docks. In fact, Pippy had to trail him, out to the woods. She'd prayed that he'd not reached that part of the story yet, but it was too late. And she saw him walking away from the sight of the grim deed.

And then she said it.

It rung in Phoenix's head a moment, a cold call to what he always pretended he wouldn't have to face. A mix of guilt and anger lingered in his mouth, making bitter the reunion with the little rabbit in front of him. He stood, in silence, and cringed when she repeated the word. He always told her not to call him that.

"Dad?" She was too frightened to say anything else.

"Pippy, I told you not to call me that," Phoenix was speaking with a sense that he owned the conversation, "Why are you outside?"

"I got out of the cave," Pippy was trying her best not to look at him, his gaze singed her face.

"What about your friend, where is he?"

"He's dead… I mean some campers killed him."

"Who? How? Nobody should have been able to get to you," He was raising his voice, and to balance, Pippy became more meek.

"I don't know how! Something, something from another dimension, a bug led them there!"

Reece scowled, he almost wanted to strike out against something, anything really, even the rabbit standing in front of her. He held back, but Pippy saw him clench his fist and drew back. He'd never hit her before, but his story had never gone this wrong.

"Dad," She almost seemed to be begging him, "Please, don't do this story. It's wrong, and people are gonna get 'urt. Why do people 'ave to die for this one?"

"You don't understand," He turned his back on her, his shadow completely eclipsing the moon in her eyes. "You're too young. Now leave, you're a liability and if you stay here more people will die."

He hesitated, almost not wanting to walk away. But he heard her whimpering, and if he stayed any longer he would start to lose heart. He moved, quickly away from her, and he cringed every time he heard that little rabbit sniffle back her tears.

Pippy shook, and her breaths were short and choking. It was a side of herself she hated, but her father brought out this scared little twerp, and she tried her best to stifle it. But, that made her cry a little harder. The only thing that managed to snap her out of it, was a visitor.

"Wow, you sure are pathetic." Pippy's head snapped upward in the direction of the noise, and she saw Mae, leaning up against a tree, a cloud of clove smoke hanging around her. Pippy, despite being short, even for a Tree Friend, ran up and snagged the wolf by her skirt, and tugged her ferociously, at some attempt at fighting. She still had tears welling up in her dinner-plate sized eyes, though, and the effect was less than tough.

"Shut up! I'm a tough girl, I just respect me elders, is all!" Pippy started pounding on Mae's hips, but succeeded in only hurting her paws on the wolf's sharp hipbones.

"I'm sure you are, little hellion." Mae smiled, "But your dad has an unfair advantage. Maybe if you knew his weakness…"

Pippy stopped pounding, and started stamping her feet on the ground, "Shut up! Shut up! Daddy's super powerful, 'e 'as no weaknesses! And, and I 'ate 'em!"

"Calm down, daughter of anarchy, I like you, and I want to help you talk to your dad." Mae leaned down, and picked up Pippy's enormous ear, whispering, "Did you know he…."

Pippy's eyes widened, and a malicious smile spread across her face.

"You've gotta be kidding me…"

…

Phoenix had resumed his disguise, and was now raking some pine needles out from under the cabins, almost taking comfort in yard work. He'd gotten Pippy out of the way, she'd never say no to him, and now he could relax and let the story unravel.

"Dad."

Damn it. Phoenix turned and found Pippy, staring at him with hopeful eyes. He tensed up, and readied to yell at her, but before he could get a word in, the sound of music paralyzed him. Someone was playing a boombox nearby, and he could only tap his foot to the music. Pippy was in on it, he could tell. She began singing to him, in a voice that make him reek of guilt.

_PIPPY  
__I've seen you twice, in a short time  
seems like it's years since we parted  
It seems to me, for every time  
I'm getting more open-hearted_

_I was an impossible case_  
_No-one ever could reach me_  
_But I think I can see in your face_  
_There's a lot you can teach me_  
_So I wanna know_

_What's the name of the game_  
_Does it mean anything to you_  
_What's the name of the game_  
_Can you feel it the way I do_  
_Tell me please, 'cause I have to know_  
_I'm a bashful child, beginning to grow_

From somewhere, Mae arrived with a boombox and began singing backup for Pippy,  
_  
And you make me talk  
(Doo Doo, doo doo)  
And you make me feel  
(Doo Doo, doo doo)  
And you make me show  
(Doo Doo, doo doo)  
What I'm trying to conceal  
If I trust in you, would you let me down  
Would you laugh at me  
If I said I care for you  
Could you feel the same way too  
I wanna know  
_

Wot's the name of the game?" Pippy stopped singing for a moment, and wrapped her arms around Phoenix's knees. He was trembling, with guilt and fear that someone could see them. But she looked up with eyes that begged the question, "Why?"

Phoenix swallowed hard, and Mae restarted the boombox, prompting them both.

_PIPPY  
(PHOENIX)_

_What's the name of the game  
(I'll tell you everything today!)  
Does it mean anything to you  
(Just give me an hour okay?)  
What's the name of the game _

_(and it means a lot…)  
Can you feel it the way I do_

_I wanna know!_

_Oh yes I wanna know!_

_The name of the game!_

"I give," Phoenix fell to his knees, so low that he was on level with his daughter, "Listen, please Pippy, I gotta finish this story. You only read a little, didn't you?"

She nodded.

You can't judge a book by its cover Pips. I'm not finished yet, trust me, when this story's over, everyone will be happy. And everyone will be safe."

"Even me?" She was almost crying again, but this time it was joy.

"Yes, I promise."

"I don't," She hesitated, but Phoenix's eyes reassured her, "I don't wanna live in the cave anymore! Put me in the story, I don't wanna 'ave to 'ide anymore."

"Yes, I promise." He wrapped his arms around her, like a bear hugging a stuffed animal. But it was only for a moment. He still had to hide from the rest of the camp, and Mae offered to bring her back to the boathouse to rest a while.

But, despite himself, Phoenix was lying to her. Again.

* * *

I didn't really name this chapter, because it didn't feel like a full "Episode". Just a bitsized chunk that finished off the last chapter.

The song is "The Name of The Game" By ABBA. And I promise it'll be the last one for a bit, for people who want actual content in their stories.

Oh, and nobody's died yet, just so everyone knows.


	17. Bad Juju

**Author's Note**

As I sit before you, an average author, with above average good looks, stuffed to the brim with candied yams and stuffing, I ask you,

Why?

And then I answer my own question with another question.

Why not?  
Regardless of the answer, I will write! Saturated in gravy and cranberry sauce I write for you, and struggle not to puke up my mom's herbal stuffing!  
**Happy Tree Camp!**

"_Bad Juju"_

_Starring  
Mumbo Jumbo  
Cro Marmot_

_Caramel, Blade, and Mint!_

At first, she was almost certain she'd died again. But, if she had, then she wouldn't be hearing voices in that inky darkness she knew so well. She wasn't exactly a religious girl, but if she died she was certain she'd find some nirvana, or some weird heaven analog. But no, it was that same darkness that all the Tree Friends knew of, which meant that they had died. Of course, here death was permanent, or so Pop said. She wasn't too certain of it, though, in fact she'd be the first to die in the camp.

It was so sudden, and horrifying, that her entire body was covered in a cold sweat. What if she did die? The only thing that calmed her crashing mind and racing hear was that voice. Someone was talking to her.

"C'mon, please. I'm sorry." It was faint, almost as if she was underwater and someone was calling her to the surface , "I'm sorry Flaky. Please wake up."

He was sitting beside her, Tyler, too scared to touch her body. He could see her shaking, sweating in her sleep. She had been brought to the infirmary in stable condition, they all seemed to be uninjured, save for Blade, who had several large welts on her neck, leading Sniffles to believe someone had tried to strangle her.

The only one Tyler and Chunky had found awake was Mint, who seemed too frightened to talk. She was admitted to the infirmary as well, bed ridden and still shivering. They had stayed with her for a while, Chunky and Tyler, but eventually Chunky left, and only the cat stayed with the girls. And now, he was pleading with Flaky to finally wake up, he'd sat beside her for hours, and his stomach churned to remind him that dinner had started well over an hour ago at the mess hall.

She stopped rolling in her bed, for just a moment, and his heart rose up. She let out a soft moan, and slowly, her hand lifted out of Tyler's comforting palm, and rubbed the sleep from her eyes.

"Flaky, are you there?"

She heard him speak, but didn't answer immediately.

"Flaky, please, it's Tyler. Please wake up." He was almost begging her, even though she was so close to waking up, she didn't respond. But not because she couldn't hear her, it was because she wasn't Flaky.

She woke up, dazed and still adjusting to the light and trying to remember what happened in the woods. All that came to her was Phoenix, wrapping his hands around her, and calmly pressing down on her neck, and how powerless she was in his grip, how should could only trash around in his grip until she lost consciousness. And then things got worse. She dreamt she was spiraling into the air, like she was caught up in a whirlwind, and then thrown violently back to earth after grazing the clouds for but a second.

And then, she was here. Laying in bed, with Tyler sitting across from her, calling her Flaky. He watched her for a few moments, staring in anticipation, mouthing that same name a few more times before she finally said,

"My name is Blade."

Tyler cocked an eyebrow at her, like she was the one confused, and not her. She was a badger, not a porcupine, it was obvious. She even lifted her hands up, just to make sure. Of course, it wasn't quite what she'd expected, and when she saw those two, red paws, twitching as she held them up to her face. Those weren't her paws.

"I'm not, I'm Blade?" She muttered to herself, just to make certain of what she was saying. She glanced out the window, and in the darkness she clearly saw Flaky's reflection staring back at her. She was Flaky.

"Are you alright?" Tyler asked again, "You seem delirious. Did you get hurt out there?"

"I'm fine!" He reached out to touch her, and she pulled away, "Don't! Just, please."

He took the hint, and slid back a little, "I'm sorry, I was only worried. You and the other girls, we didn't know what to think. Are you sure you're alright?"

"Yes, fine." She lied, trying her best not to draw any attention before she herself could figure out what had happened.

"Okay, but," He hesitated, tensing up a moment, before deciding he'd say something else, "But did you want something to eat? I mean dinner's probably cold by now, but if you want."

"I'd love some," She needed to get him out of the room, and that seemed to work. With his eyes still fixed on her, Tyler stood(Nearly tripping over his own feet) and walked out the infirmary door. But something in his mind caught him by his collar and he froze, tensed up again before quickly shouting to "Flaky",

"I just wanted to say, I'm sorry about what happened by the cave!" He was yelling so quickly that the entire phrase seemed like one word. Then, he ran out, his head held low so no one could see how badly he was blushing. He wanted to add something along the lines of "I always thought you were a wonderful girl," Or "I wish I knew you better." But he hadn't the boldness.

While she sat there, Blade tried to piece together exactly what was going on. All she knew was that by some twist of fate she was now in Flaky's body and trying to explain that to just about anyone would make them lock her up in an asylum. She looked around the little, one roomed infirmary to figure out what she could do from here, because Tyler was going to return soon with dinner. She thought quickly about telling him, but she decided that it wouldn't help her. Tyler was a bit sweet, but he was prone to overreacting, and he'd let the cat out of the bag far too soon.

"Excuse me," Someone, a girl, called to her, and she looked to her left. The white curtain that separated the beds of the infirmary was pulled, and she saw herself lying in the bed next to her.

"Lemme guess, you're actually Blade?" The girl beside her said, "Because I'm actually Caramel."

Blade swung her legs off the side of the bed and sat up, "Wait, how did you get in my body? And how did I get over here?"

"Got me," Caramel said, nonchalantly, "I woke up this way. After Flaky knocked me upside the head with a rock I passed out."

"Nuh-uh." Both girls looked towards the other side of the room. Mint had somehow risen from her bed, and was seated near the window, looking out at the darkened woods.

"She didn't do it." Mint was clearly frightened, her tone was emotionless, and at the same time terrified. "Something else was inside her. Like you, Blade." She seemed to be accusing the badger.

"I didn't do this! Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Because, I don't know you're really Blade." Mint said.

Caramel tried to intervene, "Guys, can't we just go with what we have, please? The last thing we need to do is fight with each other."

"How do we know you're really Mint?" Blade yelled, pointing the porcupine's finger at her.

"Because, I was awake. And I saw what happened. You all passed out, and something awful happened. I heard screaming, but nobody was awake. I saw something form above you all. And then, it poured into your mouths, a thick purple fog. And that bat, it was still alive. I couldn't tell at the time, but Flaky's voice. It was wrong."

There was a moment of silence as the painful realization that they had stumbled into something awful. And that they had been victims of some kind of evil magic. It was like a story book gone wrong.

"Well, what do we do now?" Caramel broke the silence, "I mean, I remember that jar, but what could it possibly mean?"

"Well, it's got to have something to do with this, which I'm sure of. But it's not here, but I've got a hunch as to where it has to be." Blade added.

"What's the skinny?" Caramel asked.

"Well, look around. I'm in Flaky's body, you're in my body, Mint's still in hers. So who are we missing?"

"Me!"

"Exactly, we find whoever's got your face, and we find the jar!"

Mint spoke soberly, "Do you honestly think that whoever was playing musical chairs with our bodies will willingly hand over what they used to do it?"

"Well, maybe we could find somebody to help us out, maybe someone who's seen something like this before!" Caramel suggested.

The other girls looked at her like she was an idiot, before something dawned on them. There was someone who knew about stuff like this, someone just crazy enough to help them out. In fact, that someone would have more black magic than any jar found in the woods.

Mint and Blade looked at each other, and grinned, before saying in unison,

"Mumbo"

…

Tyler arrived a few minutes later, bringing a few bowls of macaroni and cheese that he managed to scrounge up for the girls. They seemed to be in much better spirits, which relaxed Tyler a bit, though some of them were still a little slow to respond when he called their names. It struck him as odd, of course, but not so strange that he would trouble himself with it, especially considering all the guilt he was currently racked with over what he supposedly did to Flaky.

But, in the end Blade merely had to put on her best Flaky act, and tell Tyler she and the other girls were very tired, and they wouldn't have to worry about him again. Sniffles had also come in later in the night to check the girl's temperatures, see if they had suffered any lasting head trauma and check if their breathing and pulse was regular. But other than that he seemed uninterested, preoccupied probably, and left in a hurry. Which gave the girls plenty of time to sneak out to the mess hall.

…

"So, lemme get this straight," Mumbo said, as he scrubbed the burnt food off his casserole dish, he was none too happy about the girls barging into his mess hall and interrupting his duties. Well, they had become his and Cro-marmot's duties, as the Cave-Friend had generously offered to help clean up, given he had nothing else to do, and enjoyed sharing conversations with the old crocodile.

"You, Flaky, are actually Blade, and you, Blade, are actually Caramel. And you, Mint, are actually,"

"Mint." She finished his sentence for him, "I was the only one who saw what happened, and for some reason I wasn't affected."

"Did you keep your mouth closed?" Mumbo said, without batting an eyelash. She nodded, and he followed up, "That sells it. You didn't have your mouth open, and if I comprehend this full, you got body swapped. The other girls were knocked out, and so they let their souls out."

"I don't get it!" Caramel asked, who, despite the danger around them, had her nose buried in a container of Rocky Road she smuggled out of the pantry.

Mumbo let a smirk cross his face, and leaned over in Caramel's direction, stating very matter of factly, "Ever wonder why you say 'God bless you' when you sneeze? Because your heart's stopped, and your mouth is open. That's an awful, and I mean terrible situation to be in, because any old devil can go crawling up there. Mouth is the gateway to the soul."

"Then what do you know about the jar?" Blade asked, she was a bit on edge, "How did this thing work?"

"I'm not really sure," Mumbo set his dish aside and began scrubbing a few wire racks, "I never seen a pot that steals souls. I deal in voodoo, mostly, so this crazy Montijan jazz isn't my bag."

Cro-Marmot, who was busy mopping the floors, couldn't help overhear the mention of the Montijans. He leaned over the counter that opened up the kitchen to the mess hall, and interrupted,

"Pardon me, please, but, I heard you mentions a Montijan Artifact. A jar, you said?"

"Yeah," Caramel dropped her ice cream, and hopped over to Cro, "It was a jar or something. Flaky called it a Soul Jar."

"Goodness," Cro was taken back a moment, "Did you happen to spill any blood into it?"

"Only half a pint from my head. If you didn't hear, I got my head smashed by a rock."

"Well, that would explain it," Cro leaned his mop against the wall, and started, "I don't know how to explain this, but what happened then was a soul transfer. We natives, the Montijans especially, used these jars to hold souls, and before someone passed on, we cut their body and let the blood drip into the jar. A tradition was that all present at the ritual keep their mouth closed, or it was said that your own soul would leak out and could end up in the body of another. And judging by what you've said here, you girls have befallen such a fate. Tell me, did the jar have any carvings on it?"

"Yeah, of a dancing lizard," Caramel said. All this mysticism was driving her wild.

"Goodness no, that's not going to do well. This means that a spirit already inhabited that jar! Which means that the spirit in Caramel's body is either Flaky, or"

"Or a 1000 year old Montijan spirit." Mumbo said, grimly.

"But wait!" Mint said, " Flaky already had a spirit in her body, that must be the one trapped in the jar."

"It's also very possible." Mumbo said, "That Flaky had someone possessing her, with that soul overlapping hers. Meaning that there was two souls in that body. So it could either be Flaky, the Montijan, or"

"The Bat." Cro-Marmot said, reading the thoughts on everyone's mind, "I may have been trapped in ice, but darn it I know enough of the bat beast to know that he's got something to do with this! It's not uncommon for someone to activate a jar in order to not only release its spirit, but to steal someone else's body."

Mumbo reached into his jacket, and pulled out a few small purplish stones, and a length of thick plant fibers. Quickly, he tied them together into a few makeshift necklaces, passing them out to everyone in the room.

"Listen here, I don't know much about spirit swapping jars, but getting your souls mixed up like that means that you're still not fully settled into your body. Which could lead to you all getting knocked out of your bodies again. In fact, all it would take is something very minor, a moment of weakness. A sneeze even."

The girls donned their necklaces, even Mint decided it would be safest to take one.

"Now, get back to your cabins for the night, you hear me?" Mumbo dismissed them, "I'll finish up here and see if I can get something whipped up that might put you back into your bodies. But for tonight the safest thing you can do is rest. Cro, could you kindly escort these girls to bed?"

As they were leaving the mess hall, they heard Mumbo call one last thing to them,

"And find that jar for me! We'll need it!"

…

Phoenix led the little rabbit to his shack, were he kept most of his cleaning supplies, a mattress, an old radio that he had tuned just enough to hear, and above all his notepad. He went in first, clicking on the lights. Pippy followed close behind, forgetting to shut the door behind her.

He smiled, and picked her up like a dad hoisting his baby up for the first time, before plopping her down on a little wooden table in one corner.

He tried his best to sound sweet, "Pippy, you know I don't hate you, right?"

"I never thought that Dad."

"But you gotta understand that what I do is dangerous. All these stories, if they don't go correctly, people could get killed."

"But Dad, why do people gotta die in your stories anyhow? Why not just write a 'appy and be through with it?"

"Life can't always be happy, sugar. But it is when I'm with you." He pinched her nose, and she swatted away his hand playfully. "I make my stories end happy. You've seen that."

"But what about the people who die?"

"Those people have bad lives Pippy, they've lived painfully for too long, and I want to make them happy."

"Can't I be in the story, just this once?"

"I'll write you in. But just don't run around like this. If you do, things I didn't plan for will happen. Bad things."

She nodded, slowly, with her eyes shut softly, as if to say she understood. Phoenix smiled, and went to grab her nose again when he heard the door creak. Pippy jumped off the table when he turned to see what was going on. It was a little purple Raccoon, Caramel, holding a large blue jar and standing in their doorway.

"Mr. Phoenix? I need to talk to you about something."

* * *

Ah, feels good to finish a chapter on time.

….

What? 11 o' clock at night is still on time!

I had relatives visiting. So sue me.


	18. Setting the Stage

**Author's Note**

Man, I love thanksgiving. It's the one holiday when we all sit down and enjoy a meal together. Hell, if I could I'd invite all of you folks over to my house and we'd break bread! Candied yams, stuffinged turkey, asparagus casserole and only the finest canned berry sauce.

And Deadliving, yes _the_ Deadliving, would carve the roast beast.

**Happy Tree Camp!**

"_Setting the Stage"_

_Starring the Camp!  
_

While the girls, their heads spinning with the madness that unfolded before them, were running to Mumbo at the mess hall to sort out their identity crisis, Tyler had returned to the campfire with a heavy head. The other campers were happily roasting marshmallows and making s'mores, he just didn't have the spirit in him. So he sat on one of the large pine logs and started kicking dirt into the bon fire to entertain himself. Chunky, who was sucking his sticky paws to get the chocolate and marshmallows off them, sat beside him,

"Tyler, you roast a marshmallow yet? They got the best chocolate here!" Chunky started, before remembering something, "Oh, how's Flaky and the girls?"

And the strangest thing happened, Tyler barely said three words.

"Hey Chunky, fine."

The koala sat there, waiting for him to start some kind of inane story, like he knew he would. But Tyler just didn't. At first, Chunky found it comforting, but then he began to feel odd. This wasn't the cat he knew, not his friend. He almost felt sorry for the poor wretch.

"Tyler, what's going on with you?" He paused, not wanting to offend, "I'm sure the girls are okay."

"Yeah I bet," Tyler sighed, "It's just Flaky, is all. You know?"

"She didn't seem your type."

Tyler pounded his hands on the log, "Dude! Not cool, I'm not interested in her! That's why I'm so upset about what happened at the caves."

"You didn't seem yourself," Chunky nodded in agreement.

"I don't even remember doing it! And Flaky's such a sweet, innocent little girl. I'm like some kind of rapist!" He fell into his hands, sobbing a little.

Chunky looked around for a moment, just to make sure nobody was watching, and then reluctantly placed a hand on Tyler's shoulder ,

"It's fine pal," He was trying his best to be supportive, "I'm sure she doesn't think that."

"She has to!" Tyler didn't even look up from her hands, "I really screwed myself up this time!"

Chunky recoiled a bit when Tyler shouted, and sat there for a few, very awkward, minutes watching his friend sob. Then, like the smart little koala he was, he thought of something and hopped off the log to search in his pockets. There, in the back pocket of his shorts, was a squashed, soggy ham and lettuce sandwich.

Perfect, he thought.

So he crept up, right beside Tyler, and whispered, in a lame Russian accent,

"Uh oh, do I smell soiled baby diapers?"

Tyler's head popped up when he heard that, like it was something… familiar?

Chunky took an enormous bite out of his sandwich and shouted, mouth full and spraying bits of bread everywhere, "Run! Run! Sandvich and I are coming for you!"

An enormous smile spread over Tyler's face, and the cat leapt up, grabbing a short stick from beside the fire and twirling it like a dagger, responding in a mangled French accent, "Oh please fatman, this is getting awkward!"

Suddenly, the heavyset koala grabbed a large log and slung it under his arm, making machine gun noises and running after the agile cat, who in turn 'shot' at him like he held a revolver, each firing quips back and forth at each other like they were a pair of showboating soldiers,

"Don't run, it's just ham!" Chunky shouted, waving his sandwich in the air, to which Tyler responded,

"Your precious sandwich won't save you now, fatty!"

And they ran around the campfire, laughing and shouting and playing. Like children. It was almost easy to forget, what with everything going on, all the fear and death, even at home. But they had come there for fun, all of them came to play, relax and enjoy their summer. They were still children at heart, every Tree Friend. It was easy to forget sometimes.

The sight was almost too much for some of the other campers gathered around the fire, particularly Spades. He was laughing and tossing marshmallows at them, cheering like it was a prize fight,

"Teach 'em a lesson Chunky, go for the left Tyler! The uppercut!" He laughed so hard that he nearly fell of the log, and needed to grab onto Mae, sitting beside him, to hold on. An obvious mistake, because she shoved him off and got up to re-light her cigarette in the bonfire.

"Whoah, what's a matter with you, diva?"

"Nothing, I just don't like being touched." She said, sitting down and flicking some ashes into the fox's lap, "Besides, you guys need to relax."

"Relax? Why it's summer! It's the time to be wild and blow some energy."

"If you have some to blow," Mae muttered, "I enjoy It."

"Enjoy what?"

"Quiet, calm relaxation. Time to think, to rest, to sing." She let that last little bit slip, and quickly covered her mouth. But it was too late, and a wide grin spread across spades' mouth.

"Oh really? Why don't you sing us a little diddy? Eh? How about an aria for your buddy Spa,"

Before he could finish, Mae had her hands wrapped around his throat, throttling him and hissing profanities and threats at him. But, that didn't stop him from laughing with whatever air he had left, and turning bright red from joy.

Across the fire, Nutty was busy shoveling marshmallows down his mouth, and Flippy was kicking the back of his head every once and a while to keep him from choking, while chatting with Disco Bear and Frost, who had cheered up much more, now that he was spending some time with Disco. Something about him was almost like a father figure, though he might not exactly be the best one around. And near them, Slick was necking with Lammy, who blushed and giggled and melted all over him. DJ was sitting next to them, and almost gagged listening to them sweet talk, until he looked across the fire and could have sworn he saw Brooke wink at him, and he quickly lowered his head to avoid looking at her.

The whole camp was buzzing around the bonfire like a bunch of moths, and their chattering was like a high school cafeteria in the middle of the woods. The whole night was lit up with their laughter, and the only thing that managed to calm them down was when Pop stood atop a log to make an announcement to the waiting camp. He cleared his throat, and spoke warmly to them, like a father,

"I hope," He started, first with a laugh, "That despite all our mishaps you've been enjoying the time spent with your friends, at our camp. And, that you're ready for even more fun? Are you?"

The kids called back with a roar, and Pop laughed again,

"Of course you are! And, as a little gift, I wanted to show you something. You, no doubt, have seen the mining facilities around the camp. I assure you that these have been for archaeological purposes only, and we've obtained some gifts, be it directly dug up or crafted using the materials we've found. Now, Lumpy, Handy, Sniffles, please show our guests their gifts."

He nodded towards his workers, and they held out their hands, covered with necklaces. Each one was a leather woven strap, some aged more than others, and each had a blue stone on the end. Some were shaped as animals, some leaves, and even others arrowheads inscribed with strange runes and symbols. The campers all rushed, and even some counselors, to grab these magnificent little treasures, showing them off to each other and wondering at how they shined a glorious glowing blue in the moonlight. Pop himself even placed one around his neck, and smiled proudly at his little campers.

He even shot a smile at Sniffles, who left the bonfire as soon as the necklaces were given out. He was honestly disgusted in himself, he experimenting on those poor campers just because that man told him to. Why couldn't he just say no while he had the chance? Sure, maybe Pop had a point. That he could save their lives with these relics, stop all of them from suffering.

"What am I thinking?" He whispered, to himself, "This is crazy. This whole artifact nonsense."

He was so deep in thought he nearly passed by the girls led by Cro-Marmot, with Blade, Mint and Caramel(Blade and Caramel still misplaced in their bodies. Caramel in Blade's and Blade in Flaky's if you're keeping score). He stopped them, remembering he held some authority.

"Hey, why are you girls out here? Aren't you supposed to be at the Infirmary, or the Campfire at least? You're going to miss out on getting your,"

He stopped himself, seeing he purple amulets on their necks. In the darkness, he mistook Mumbo's handiwork for his own, and believed the girls had already received some of Pop's Montijan artifacts. He shook his head, and dismissed the girls. They didn't really understand how he would have recognized the amulets to begin with, but were happy he didn't notice, and ran back to their respective cabins.

…

Caramel, or so Phoenix thought, held out the jar to him, and he almost instantly became infuriated.

"Out!" He shouted, "Caramel! Get out, you shouldn't be here, and I don't care about whatever you need to show me. You're endangering this story, I've told you once before!"

"But, gee, I only," The little raccoon pleaded, but Phoenix cut her off.

"I don't care!" He readied to shout at her again, but the little rabbit behind him put a paw on his shoulder.

"Don't be so mean ta 'er Dad. She only wants a bit a help."

"Pippy, don't get involved."

She almost silenced, but Pippy tried talking to him again, "Please Dad, jus' relax a bit. You want me ta sing you a song?"

Before he could react, she started swaying back and forth and sang a little,

"Poor wan'dring one, if such poor love as mine," Pippy almost sounded like a different rabbit, when she sung, "Can help you find, true peace of mind, then take it, it is thine…."

Caramel watched, wide eyed, as Phoenix's expression melted from anger, to relaxation, to pure hypnotism. She held him spellbound, her little hand guided his head, as he swayed to her little song. It was incredible, a gorilla was being tamed by a tiny rabbit's song. It only faded when Pippy's voice did, and he almost at once regained his senses, and turned on Caramel with more intensity.

"Leave! Didn't you hear me? Go! Scram! Take that stupid urn and go see Mumbo if you really want to know about it!"

And with that, he slammed the door to his shack shut, leaving Caramel outside, holding the oversized urn. She was at once frustrated, but she grew excited at the mention of the crocodile. Her eyes flashed purple with a bit of malevolence and a new opportunity.

"I'll go see… Mumbo. He'll help me, with a bit of convincing."

…

"Well now, that was quick." Mumbo said, examining the jar that Caramel held in front of him. It was definitely the same urn, but Cro-Marmot was still outside bringing the girls back. He'd have to examine it himself. She handed it to the croc, who lifted it up to the counter top, and looked more closely.

"Now then, you didn't do anything with it yet? Right? You know how these things are activated, right Caramel?"

"I'm not Caramel." She said, without missing a beat. Mumbo turned to her,

"You're Flaky?"

She shook her head.

"B-blade?"

The raccoon shook her head one last time, before taking her paws out from behind her back. She was holding a kitchen knife in one hand, and the other was bloodied. Mumbo looked over in horror at the urn, which was slowly filling up with blood. Before he could snap his enormous jaw shut, that same purple fog poured out, and sucked a mist from Mumbo's mouth, and his eyes rolled back into his head, before a new entity crawled down his throat. And before the mist had cleared, the new Mumbo, the new being, was revealed to her. The Crocodile, with renewed vigor, snapped forward and coiled around the little raccoon, smiling and gazing into her soul,

"Hello little girl," It hissed, "Pleasure to meet you, I hope you've guessed my name. I'm χορεύτρια."

"Hello, friend." Caramel's eyes flashed, it certainly wasn't her in that body. It had to be Gouge, "We're going to make a deal."

"You're playing with the big boys now, sugar. And baby, you ain't seen nothing yet." The Demon was mocking her.

"I'm a powerful demon, as well. Perhaps you've heard of a nasty bat spirit?" 'Caramel' smiled, "Let's have a chit chat."

The Crocodile smiled, and gristly music, a dreadful dirge rose up around them. It was certainly going to be a hell of a show.

* * *

I wonder why he chose that title?

That Demon, he's speaking in song lyrics. Perhaps, that's foreshadowing?


	19. Phoenix Down

**Author's Note**

Okay, I'm understanding that you guys are getting a little lost from time to time, so I'll be as laconic as I can right now.

"Cheat Sheet Recap"

Gouge, after being "Killed" by the combined efforts of Mae, Caramel, Zehuva and Flaky, managed to transfer his spirit into a corpse in a cavern where he had trapped Chunky and Tyler. Then, he knocked Chunky out and transferred into Tyler's body.

Then, under the guise of Tyler, he seduced the timid Flaky, and transferred into her to get closer to Phoenix, whom he was beginning to see as a major target. Then, he saw a great opportunity in the other girls, and used a soul jar he'd found in the woods some time before to overload it and scramble the girl's bodies. He didn't particularly care who he ended up with, or if he released the spirit, he just wanted to swap bodies and kill whomever he didn't end up possessing. Also, clearing out the soul of whichever body he took over meant he didn't have to share.

The soul jar overloaded when so many people had their mouths open(Remember what Mumbo said), and took out the souls of whoever had their mouth open. The soul already in the jar(The demon that was released last chapter) ended up retreating back into it, Gouge took over Caramel's empty body, Caramel got Blade's body, and Blade took Flaky's body. Right now it's uncertain where Flaky's soul is. Mint was able to keep her mouth shut from her Mime training and Phoenix seemed to know what was going to happen, and made Blade enter the body-swap for reasons of his own.

Gouge intended to kill the other girls when he was finished, but Chunky and Tyler arrived on the scene too soon, and he ended up pretending to be Caramel. Then, later that night, he tricked Mumbo into activating the soul jar, and he ended up trapped inside while the demon possessed him.

Pop's necklaces also play a part. But we'll wait on that.

**Happy Tree Camp!**

"So, are ve reaching an understanding?" Gouge asked, wrapping his hands around the jar and placing it beside the large crocodile. The beast, whomever it was, was constantly tapping its foot, to some unheard rhythm. And it had a wicked grin that made your skin crawl, and it honestly didn't help that that grin was plastered onto a svelte crocodile that towered over most.

"Gimme some scriptures to live by," The Crocodile asked, still speaking cryptically, "Gimme commandments to know."

"Instructions?" Gouge was growing impatient, "It's simple! Capture the Author, he's the only human here!"

"What's the name of the game?" It said again, only further aggravating Gouge. The little raccoon girl he was inhabiting leapt up and snagged the demon by Mumbo's throat, and pulled him down to eye level.

"Listen to me, imbecile. I am not a man to be trifled vith, I am immortal! I vas here before you, and I vill be here long after you are gone! I am a god! Now, you vill listen to me, and you will stop speaking in riddles!"

The demon eased out of his grip, "Alright Jack, you the boss. Now, you want me to get a hold of this Author, and why do you think I could do that?"

"Because, posses power, don't you?"

"Not so. All I've got is a wicked sense of rhythm. And that isn't very good for kidnapping a creature of such power. An Author is something beyond what you understand."

Gouge raised an eyebrow, "How do you know what an Author is?"

"I was a Montijan High Priest, I danced at the temple," He began swaying, moving his hands in strange and confusing ways, "The mountain, you know it?"

"There is a temple in the mountain? The native didn't tell me about that."

The demon burst of laughing, even his chortling was melodic. And of course, Gouge became angrier, and almost struck the demon before it stopped him, and explained "Pal, the temple isn't in the mountain, it _is _the mountain."

"Vhat? Vhat do you know that you're not telling me?"

"I'm laying it out flat, jack, cool your jets." The demon said, mocking him, "I was a priest, ya hear? Played in the temple of the beginning, that mountain. And I got greedy."

He twirled his hands, and a mist appeared around them. Gouge tried to seem nonplussed, but he was almost afraid of the demon.

"I craved the power of an Author, nearly had it too. I struck a deal with an Author through a ritual, and I gained much. But the other priests condemned me, and called down the wrath of some other Authors on me. It was something Author's don't usually resort to, but they brought down the power of heaven and hell on me. And I,"

"Your vords," Gouge would hear no more, "vill not deter me. I vill take the power for myself, and you vill assist me. Are ve reaching an understanding?"

The crocodile shook his head, slowly and almost possessing a bit of pity or sadness. It was hard to tell, with creatures such as this,

"I suppose it can't be helped. Immortality is not a blessing kid. I'd know. It made me something strange, a boogeyman."

Gouge had waited long enough, "I don't seek immortality, I already have it. I seek to kill the others. Do you have any idea what my life is? They made me to be perfect; I suffered through experiments and inhuman torture to become immortal! And these, things, they disrespect me with their existence! They are a living insult! I will kill each and every one of them, only I should have immortality!"

The demon paused, and slowly a smile dawned on his face, "Fine. Let's do business. I'll catch this Author for you, subdue him, and give him to you. But, in return I want one thing."

"You are not in a position to make demands."

He ignored Gouge, and continued, "when this blows over, and you've killed the other immortals, the Tree Friends, I want you to kill me."

Gouge smirked, "I always intended to."

The Demon extended Mumbo's claw out, "Call me χορεύτρια. Or better yet, just call me the Boogeyman."

"And you will call me Master," Gouge shook The Boogeyman's hand, "Now, go find the Author by the name of Phoenix."

The Boogeyman paused, and his eyes became glassy for just a split second, before becoming something else, something sinister that Gouge didn't exactly like,

"Vhat? Vhy did you,"

"Nothing. Phoenix Reece, Right?"

"I suppose, but how do you know,"

"It's not important," The demon said, over his shoulder as he left Gouge. The bat could tell there was something up, but he would deal with that when the time comes."

…

The winds were blowing hard that summer's night, more than they had a right to, and it was getting especially chilly in Phoenix's little shack. He was going to send Pippy back to the boathouse, but it had gotten late while he was talking to her, and now he'd curled her up on a little mattress with one of his ratty cloth blankets while he tried to light a little gas stove he'd brought with him(Phoenix had been so busy today he hadn't the chance to eat anything). Pippy didn't seem to mind the blanket, though something was bothering her, and despite Phoenix's best attempts to get her to sleep, she rolled around restlessly on the bed. Phoenix finally got the stove to catch, and placed a can of franks and beans on the flame, before taking a seat beside Pippy on the mattress.

"What's the matter?" He asked, she had her eyes closed, but he could tell she was still awake, "Hungry? I'm making something if you'd like to share."

She muttered something, but she kept her head turned away.

"Can't hear you Pips." He nudged the little pile of fur, and she rolled over to face him.

"I'm not hungry."

Phoenix rolled his eyes, "Okay, then what is it?"

"Well," she sat up, and Phoenix could see her face was distressed. Her lips were sealed closely, she was really going to regret what she said next, "I've been a naughty girl, y'know?"

"It's fine Pippy, you didn't mean any harm. I suppose I should visit your little hideaway more often," He was reassuring her, sure, but there was something wrong with the way he referred to the way he kept her locked up.

"But I did awful things too, dad." She had a dollop of tears in the corners of her large eyes, and her voice was straining and wrenched. "I read your story without your permission, and I trapped those guys inna cave, so I could be the main character and find the idol…."

Phoenix's entire body tensed up, and his jaw was pulled downward so hard it looked as though the muscles in his neck would snap like rubber bands. Pippy felt the bed rumbling, and soon realized that Phoenix was trembling and sweating like a pig.

"You, what?" His voice was full of ill-concealed anger.

Pippy trembled, and tried to respond, "Well, I,"

"You ruined everything!" Phoenix shouted, and Pippy shrieked, ducking back under the covers like the frightened little rabbit she was,"You little idiot! Do you know what you've put into motion? Do you have any idea? You greedy little idiot!"

She let out a withering squeak and retracted at his insults, into a cowering little bundle of shivers under the blanket. Her father raised a hand, he couldn't see her, but she could tell how angry he was, and wouldn't be surprised if he hit her. He heard her wince, and stopped dead in his tracks, anger suddenly replaced by guilt.

"Pippy I didn't," He reached out but she curled up tighter at his touch, "Pippy, you don't understand. I just, I mean things," He tried to seem angry again, "Things are all screwed up now! We're in danger, maybe, I mean. I don't know what's going to happen now! Anything, anywhere might happen, and now I can't be certain that my story's going the right way anymore! Even now someone or something might,"

Something whistled, like an atom bomb dropping from the heavens, which was exactly what Phoenix thought the noise was, and he hit the mattress, screaming like a little girl. Then, a bang went off and when Phoenix felt chunks of meat hit his body and soaked his clothes, he immediately assumed parts of his legs had been blown off.

But, he slowly moved his back legs, and found they were very much intact, and looked over to see his can of beans had burst on the stove. He looked back to Pippy, who had sat up to find out what was going on, and he quickly stood up and brushed his pants off, then grabbed a rag to scrub the pork and beans that spilled out over the table.

"Pippy," He sat and put on his shoes, talking while he laced them up, "I'm gonna go grab something from the mess hall. I'll be back in a minute, but try to go to sleep, okay?"

He opened the door, and looked back to Pippy, who was sitting up in bed. She nodded, and blew a kiss to Phoenix, who caught it and slapped it on his cheek, before blowing one back to Pippy, who giggled and stuck it to her cheek. He pulled the chain above him, the lights in the shack went out, and Pippy laid her head down to sleep.

Phoenix brought the can of beans, or what was left of it, to snack on as he walked. The metal can had been heated so much that he had to hold it in the sauce covered rag he'd used to wipe it up earlier. To make things more clear, he almost looked like a hobo. And, given it was the middle of the night, anyone of the campers would be a little frightened to see him wandering about the camp grounds. You probably think I'm going somewhere with this, but luckily he didn't run into anyone, and actually made his way to the mess hall easily.

Unluckily, despite the lights being on, the mess hall was still locked, which was odd, because it couldn't be after eleven. So he guessed that Mumbo was still cleaning inside and decided to head around the back to see if the kitchen's back door was unlocked.

But, before he could, there was some kind of strange tapping, a sort of metal clicking just around the corner of the building. It was almost, dare I say, enchanting to Phoenix? As he drew closer he heard someone singing,

"Have you seen the well to do, up and down Park Avenue, on that famous thoroughfare with their noses in the air, high hats and narrow collars, white spats and lots of dollars, spending every dime, for a wonderful time."

Phoenix started stepping in rhythm, following the noise around the side of the building to the back end, where Mumbo was tapping his feet underneath the little lamp by the back door. He didn't know why, but Phoenix was only compelled to join in the dancing.

And Mumbo went on, "When you don't know what to do, and you don't know where to go why don't you go where fashion sits?" He pointed his cane towards Phoenix, and he shouted,

"Puttin' on the Ritz!"

Mumbo began tapping out an elaborate routine, with Phoenix attempting to follow along, but he was so awestruck by the whole performance that he looked clunky and robotic standing next to the smooth, agile crocodile. He tapped his cane on the ground twice, and tossed it in the air for Phoenix to catch, who mimicked the last two taps before tossing the cane back to the croc. Then they both began tap dancing in sync, despite Phoenix only wearing his work boots, and Mumbo had no shoes to speak of. Then, Mumbo bounced the cane off the ground again, and Phoenix caught it, tapping out a quick pattern, before smiling and passing it back. But, instead of repeating the rhythm, Mumbo took the opportunity to bash the spellbound Phoenix over the head with it, knocking him unconscious. He spun for a moment, before collapsing into the dirt, and Mumbo only glanced around for a second before dragging him into the kitchen.

…

Waking up was quite difficult for Phoenix, given that he'd suffered quite a blow to the head, and he was beginning to feel nauseous from what he would soon realize was the blood rushing to his head. He shook for a moment, and tried to rub his eyes, before he realized that they were firmly tied to his sides. This quickly threw him into a claustrophobic panic, and his yelling was only silenced when he heard the laughter of something sinister in the air,

"Ahahahaahaaaa!" It was all around him, but in the little kitchen he couldn't see anything, especially dangling by his feet from the ceiling, "Phoenix Reece, it's been so long!"

"Who's there, come out quickly now and I won't have to kill you off!" Phoenix tried his best to assume control, but right now his voice portrayed his true feelings. Things weren't going as planned.

"Don't you remember me? An old friend you'd missed for so long, someone you left here to deal with your mess?"

"Deadliving?"

"Guess again, someone who truly hates you,"

"The Wax Factory?"

"No you clod! It's is I, the Montijan priest you got banished!"

"Right!" Phoenix was feeling relaxed, "What was your name again, Shirley?"

He felt something hard hit him in the back, "χορεύτρια! I am a feared demon! Or, as you may remember, I'm now a Boogeyman."

"Speaking of which, what are you doing here? The Council doesn't usually let people like you back out."

"Revenge! An enemy of yours and a friend of mine wants you, and I'm happy to oblige!"

"I didn't realize I was so popular…"

"Aaaand, since my new friend didn't specify how I should perform my service any way I'd like."

Phoenix faked a dramatic voice the best he could, "Do you expect me to talk, Shirley?"

"No, I expect you," The Demon added some extra flair to his last part, "To sing!"

Phoenix's face lit up with genuine joy, "Oh goodie!"

A grim, low orchestra started up from seemingly nowhere, and spotlights shined down from the heavens to really sell the effect, as Phoenix was spun around to face his captor, still in the body of one Mumbo Jumbo. The Author was shocked at first, but knew that he'd try something like this.

"My my, you've gotten fat," The Boogeyman said, and before he could even try and speak up, the demon in Mumbo began singing,

_BOOGEYMAN_  
_Well, well, well, what have we here?_  
_Phoenix Reece, huh?_  
_Oh, I'm really scared_  
_So you're the one everybody's talkin' about,_  
_HAHA!_

_You're jokin', you're jokin'_  
_I can't believe my eyes_  
_You're jokin me, you gotta be_  
_This can't be the right guy_  
_He's tubby, he's ugly_  
_I don't knoe which is worse_  
_I might just split a seam now_  
_If I don't die laughing first_

_When Mr. Mumbo Jumbo said_  
_There was trouble close at hand_  
_You shoulda paid attention then,_  
_'Cause I'm the Boogeyman_  
_And if you aren't shakin'_  
_Then something's very wrong_  
_'Cause this may be the last time now_  
_That you hear the boogey song, ohhh_

_PHOENIX_  
_Ohhh_

_BOOGEYMAN_  
_Ohhh_

_PHOENIX_  
_Whoaaah!_  
_Ohhh, he's the Oogie Boogeyman_

The demon snaps a claw and the kitchen comes to life, literally. Cutlery dances out of the drawers, and from the pantry a giant stew pot slides out, filled to the brim with some strange, bubbling concoction. All around them, as the Boogeyman sings, carrots line up to be chopped, and potatoes jump into the pot which Phoenix is just dangling above.

BOOGEYMAN  
_Well if I'm feelin' antsy_  
_And there's nothin' much to do_  
_I might just cook a special batch_  
_Of snake and spider stew_  
_And don't ya know one thing_  
_That would make it work so nice?_  
_A roly-poly Phoenix Reece to add a little spice,_

_PHOENIX_  
_Nooohhh!_

_BOOGEYMAN_  
_Oh, yeah_

_PHOENIX AND BOOGEYMAN_  
_Oh, yeah, I'm/he's the Oogie Boogeyman_

The Boogeyman slaps Phoenix, and he begins swaying back and forth above the pot like a pendulum, each time growing closer to the boiling brew. Nervously, Phoenix sings a plea

_PHOENIX_  
_Release me now_  
_Or you must face the dire consequences_  
_The story can't go on this way_  
_So please come, to your senses_

_BOOGEYMAN_  
_Ha!_  
_You're jokin', you're jokin'_  
_I can't believe my ears_  
_Would someone shut this fella up_  
_I'm drownin' in my tears_  
_It's funny, I'm laughing_  
_You really are too much_  
_And now, with your permission_  
_I'm going to do my stuff_

_PHOENIX_  
_(Spoken)_  
_What are you going to do?_

_BOOGEYMAN_  
_(Spoken)_  
_I'm gonna do the best I can_  
_(Sung)_  
_Oooooh, the sound of my voice,_  
_You know there's music in the air_  
_'Cause I'm a singing Boogeyman_  
_No other can compare_

_The words mean more, I must confess_  
_When lives are on the line_  
_Not mine, of course, but yours, old boy_  
_Now that'd be just fine_

_PHOENIX_  
_Release me fast or you will have to_  
_Answer for this heinous act_

_BOOGEYMAN_  
_Oh, brother, you're something_  
_You put me in a spin_  
_You aren't comprehending_  
_The position_  
_That you're in_  
_It's hopeless, you're finished_  
_You haven't got a prayer_  
_'Cause I'm your worst nightmare,_  
_And you ain't going nowhere_

With one final laugh, the rope gives way, letting Phoenix fall into the stew beneath him, only dipping his head in it. Then, the Boogeyman pulls him back up, gasping for air, before dunking him in again and again. Each time he submerges, he seems weaker, until finally, he's given up struggling all together, and his eyes are glowing a dull purple.

….

Somewhere, high above the stars of that world, beyond what you could see. Two figures were watching that little world through what seemed a glass dome. They stood, quite like what a angel would look like, only their robes were not so long and dusted with stars, and they lacked wings. The oddest thing was, instead of a halo, each had a glowing lampshade, just above their heads.

"He's in trouble now," One figure said, "We'd best call the whole thing off. Suppose the audience would buy that it was all just a dream?"

The other figure shook its head, "No, it's fine. It's all going according to plan."

"How so? Your messenger died and the group didn't even retrieve the rabbit."

"I work in mysterious ways," The first figure nodded, and before the second could react, something crashed just outside of his field of view. And the clatter was followed by a stampeding and a girlish squeal.

"It would appear," The first figure continued, walking away, "That Kitten630 has gotten into Deadliving's Terrarium again. Please get JerryAssMonkey to help you round her and the ocelots up."

The second figure looked to the commotion, and back to the other figure, "You knew this would happen, didn't you?"

"Of course, it's no fun otherwise."

* * *

Who's got two thumbs, and can't keep a goddamn schedule?

THIS GUY!

Oh wait, you can't see me. You see, I didn't submit Friday's story, and I have two thumbs, so I pointed at myself with my thumbs. I have two thumbs.

Never mind, if you couldn't guess, the song used was **Oogie Boogie's Song from Nightmare Before Christmas**

Hopefully I'll see you all by friday!


	20. The Rise of the Temple

**Author's Note**

You ever have any weird dreams? Like the last few nights I had some odd ones. A couple nights ago, I was in some kind of medieval war, and we tried to defeat the French legion attacking our fortress by flicking spicy Cajun food into their general's eyes. Didn't work well, a lot of us died. Then I had to go and save the princesses from being captured, but the French followed me and had us cornered! Then I woke up.

And just last night I was at church, and after the sermon was over we went to some strange Japanese temple, I think to eat. But I was too busy showing a bunch of kids I didn't know I knew this garden in the back of the temple, but it was gone, even though I was certain it was there. And I got so frustrated I went in the back and looked up "Questionable Adult Images" on one of the Japanese worker's computer, hid and waited for the guy to show up and be disgusted. Which was odd, because it takes a lot to disgust the Japanese.

Anyway, I gotta write this story don't I?

**Happy Tree Camp!**

_"The Rise of the Temple!"_

_Starring  
Gouge  
χορεύτρια  
&_

_Phoenix!_

_Also featuring two late arrivals!_

He arrived abruptly, just as the demon had finished his work, still standing in a less than mighty form of Caramel. He beckoned to the crocodile with one hand, and in response the crocodile quickly cut the ropes holding Phoenix's body and helped the Author to his feet. He looked even more like a gorilla now, his eyes were glazed over and his back hunched. His hands were hanging limp, but for his fingers which in an erratic, almost violent manner. Gouge looked him over for a moment before asking,

"Is he ready?"

The Boogeyman had moved to the kitchen counter, and now held a serrated kitchen knife, "No, not yet. He needs to lose some blood."

"Vhy?"

The demon stuttered, "For, for the ritual, yes, we need an Author's blood!"

He pressed the cold steel against Phoenix's face, before Gouge reached up and snatched the knife away,

"Do not hurt him, until ve are finished."

"You don't know how long I've been waiting for this! This, this idiot did this to me!"

"Vhat happened to your cool composure? Your, wizened self?"

"Shut up, you can't understand what it's like to be a boogeyman! He tricked me! All for his audience, he's using you too!"

"Ve vill see, I doubt he accounted for this, for us."

"He's smarter than you think!"

"Did you vhat I asked?" Gouge snapped back, and The demon nodded, "Then he has no control."

Gouge snapped his fingers, and Phoenix turned his head slowly in the direction of the noise.

"Look at me. Here!" Gouge shouted, and Phoenix took a step forward. Gouge swung the knife in the air, and he took a step back, like a frightened animal, "No! I did not tell you to walk! Do as you are told!"

Phoenix nodded, and hunched his back further to meet his master's gaze, Gouge placed the edge of the blade on Phoenix' forehead, and spoke calmly,

"Stay vhere you are, until you are told to follow."

He nodded, and Gouge turned to The demon,

"vhere do ve need to go to begin the ritual?"

The croc steadied his gaze, out the window, still darkened, but dawn was approaching.

"The mountain, we need to get inside, one of the chambers will have what we need. It may take a while though."

"It is of no matter, so long as ve are not seen until it is too late."

He turned to Phoenix, and swung the knife in the air again, "Come! Follow!"

The man, still under Gouge's complete control, followed. He lurched like the walking dead, with a strange dead-eyed gaze, and his fingers still twisting in spasms as they hung below him, almost expecting what they were about to write.

The grim party moved onward, hiding in what little darkness they had left.

…

The blackened sky was turning a dim grey when they reached the cavern, they needed to act soon, light would spoil the entire plan. Only in darkness could the ritual begin. The demon headed them, leading Gouge and the enslaved Phoenix deeper into the mountain, until they reached the same wall where Sniffles had read the campers the prophecy.

Mumbo, or more rather the demon inside him, was enticed by the sight. It was something very familiar to him. He ran one of his thick claws across the writing, and motioned for Phoenix to come closer.

"Do you see this?" The demon said, "This Montijan prophecy, do you remember it?"

Phoenix did not react.

"This is your prophecy. They carved it after what you did to me!" He dug into it with his claw, cracking the blue stones, "They saw what you did to me as a sign, remember? Remember what you did to me!"

"Silence!" Gouge shoved the demon away from the wall, "He can't remember now! Not in his state, and there vill not be time to ask later. No vhere are you taking us?"

The demon stepped backwards, and nearly tripped over it. He kicked it out in front of them, a golden idol, with a grim scowl across its face.

"Impossible. How did this,"

"Vhat, vhat is it?"

The crocodile stooped down and scooped up the idol, stuffing it into his jacket.

"We can't let them get a hold of this, it could undo everything!"

Gouge grabbed the Boogeyman by his collar, and pulled him close, gritting his teeth as he spoke, "If this idol is our undoing, vhat is it doing here?"

"I-I don't know, it wasn't supposed to be here! The prophecy said it was hidden in the lake! Listen, we need to begin, get the Author to write here." He pointed to a slab, underneath the prophecy, "Tell him to write, he'll know what to do."

Gouge wanted to know more of the idol, but there would be plenty of time for that. He turned to Phoenix, "Author, scrawl here! Write our prophecy!"

Phoenix heard Gouge, but didn't react. Gouge swung the knife again, and Phoenix seized up in fright, before undergoing a series of spasms. He was reaching into his shirt, for something, but it was almost like he was resisting his own actions. Gouge smacked the flat of the blade against his shin, and he moved more quickly, pulling out a small pencil, attached to a chain around his neck. He carelessly tugged it, snapping the chain, and fell to his knees to write on wall.

The moment his pencil touched the stones, the entire mountain began to shake. His hands moved like something horrible, his muscles twitching and writhing under his skin as he wrote strange, arcane symbols into the rock.

Gouge couldn't comprehend what was going on around him. He was a superstitious creature, and this was not what he was expecting, "Vhat is going on, vhat is he doing?"

The demon didn't move, he didn't seem to mind the entire cavern shaking around him, "It is his duty as an Author to write. And by writing at this sacred spot he is altering the entire world. That little stick is his pencil, his life. No Author would reveal the source of his power unless he had no choice."

The mountain began to crack and shift, and Gouge fell to his knees as the entire chamber began to rise up beneath them. The mountain was crumbling around them, revealing what had lied beneath it for centuries, a Montijan temple. Just as the sun was rising on the outside, the Temple sprung out of the earth, shining in blue stone and carved with hundreds of ornate symbols. It was something out of Mayan architecture, thousands of steps that led up to the single altar, where Gouge, Phoenix, and The Demon were no gazing down on the forest.

Gouge looked out, trembling in shock and joy all at once, "Is it, real? Have ve done it?"

A devious grin spread across the crocodile's maw, "Not quite yet. Behold, eternal night!"

He thrust his hands into the air, and as Phoenix wrote, the sky blackened. It was more than night, it was a pitch-black oblivion, spreading over the camp like a cloak. Just as the light set in, it was blotted out by that veil of darkness that seemed to spread over the entire forest.

"Ahahaha!" The demon cackled, "Now, we shall begin our greatest achievement."

He felt a sharp pain in his stomach, and looked down to find the little raccoon Gouge was inhabiting had plunged the knife into his abdomen. He fell backwards, and as the purple mist poured out of the wound in Mumbo's body, Gouge let his out of Caramel's mouth, which seeped into the wound in the crocodile. In an instant, the demon and the bat had just switched bodies.

"What the hell?" Caramel now spoke in the demon's voice, "I stole that body myself!"

"And I stole it for me," Mumbo's voice was now that of Gouge, "You can have it back vhen I get this Author's body. Vhich vill be, vhen?"

"Give the Author some time, he's writing in a text that he shouldn't know. In fact if he's not careful he'll break his mind into powder."

Gouge used his new height to his advantage, towering over the demon in the girl's body, "Speed him up!"

"There's no rush," The demon sat down on the edge of the altar, "After all, nobody's leaving this camp now."

…

Let's not forget, that there is a world outside this camp. Things like those mysterious invitations, recent disappearances, the purchase of a large campgrounds that had been defunct for several decades couldn't go unnoticed. Only a mile away from the camp, a jeep containing two state troopers, a fox and a porcupine, were on their way to the camp to conduct an investigation of some of those recent events. They were dressed in their green uniforms, each wearing a wide-brimmed hat adorned with a tree and an acorn, symbol of their land of loyalty.

"Kurt?" The fox, who had just recently been assigned to work with the more experienced trooper, spoke up, "I was just wondering what it is we're doing?"

Kurt, the porcupine, chuckled, "Oh come on rookie; did you forget already? There have been several researchers, and young ones at that, who disappeared after being asked to work on this place we're investigating. And not only that, there was also a group of children who were brought to these same campgrounds as a cover. Seriously sinister stuff."

"I get that, but why are we going out this early?" Hanz, the fox, asked.

"It's a surprise attack! We'll take 'em down by dawn to keep the children from getting hurt. Trust me, we'll be heroes!"

"Um," Hanz, seemed a little apprehensive, "That sounds like something that maybe the FBI should be handling, you know?"

"Oh come on Hanz, quit being such a wimp!" Kurt took his eyes off the road to lecture his new partner, "You gotta learn that there are gonna be dangers out here in the wild. Stuff I've dealt with, like grizzly bears, venomous snakes, wolves, wolverines, which are something completely different. Just relax, as long as you're with me, rookie, you'll be safe."

Hanz was looking straight ahead while Kurt talked, and he slowly took on a look of shock that only amused Kurt even more,

"Listen rookie, you're never gonna get anywhere when you're scared of a little wildlife."

"I'm not afraid of the wildlife," Hanz pointed out to the sky, "I'm afraid of that!"

Kurt looked up where his partner had pointed, and slammed his foot down on the brakes. They could hear the rumbling from a few miles away, as Mt. Montijo, right beside the camp where they were headed, began to crumble, and a freakish temple that shined like something from another world.

"What the hell?" Kurt reached under his seat and pulled out a small pair of binoculars, "Did you see that? Please tell me you saw that!"

He zoomed in as close as he could, but he couldn't make out the details.

Kurt tossed the binoculars into the back of the truck, "We need to get moving! Hold on rookie!"

Hanz grabbed the edge of his seat, and Kurt turned, tossing them off the path into the forest. The jeep thundered across the dirt, flying into the air every time they hit a rock or a log. Hanz, in his panic, crawled into the back of the jeep, and grabbed the binoculars to get a look himself, and while he could barely see between the trees overhead, what he did see managed to scare him even more than the temple.

"Kurt, drive faster!" He said, looking up at the giant inky mass that had begun to surround the forest. It was growing so fast, so rapidly that when Kurt looked up, he could easily see it just hanging over their heads. He slammed down on the pedal, doubling their speed to try and outrun this wall of shadows. It seemed like it was about to fall down on top of them, when they hit an overturned log, and were sent spinning into the air, crashing just inside the dome that was now encasing the campgrounds. The jeep was totaled, but it seemed the two rangers were a little more shaken up.

Hanz was laying in a pile of camping equipment that had fallen out of the back of the truck. He called out to Kurt, who was still strapped into the driver's seat, despite the jeep being on its side,

"Sir, what do we do now?"

"Pass me the radio rookie," Kurt asked, very calmly. Hanz tossed it to him, and he switched it on, but it only produced a high-pitched static , "Hello? Hello?"

"What are you doing?"

"Calling for back-up you idiot!" Kurt was quickly losing his cool.

"But, you said you were experienced.."

"Yeah! In wildlife! Not this psychotic supernatural stuff! Do you see this? A freaking wall of black smoke, and a temple!" He was almost sobbing.

"Maybe we could just go through," Hanz reached out toward it, but Kurt slapped him.

"Are you insane? We can't go anywhere from here! The radio can't get through whatever's in there, I doubt we will." He dug around in the back of the jeep, "We need to get in there and find out what's wrong, just as soon as we find those campers!"

He pulled out a small hatchet, some flares, a rope, and a gas lantern, and passed them all to Hanz, before taking out a small gun loaded with darts.

"Dammnit! They never give us guns!" He showed the pistol to Hanz, "It's only a tranquilizer, but it'll have to do."

Hanz followed, the hatchet in one hand, and the flares tied around his waist, "Where are we going?"

Kurt tried to sound as dramatic as he could, "We're going to save some lives."

…

"Lumpy, did you think it was wrong to give those things to the campers?"

"What, the s'mores? I think they liked 'em Handy."

Handy and Lumpy had just finished mining at the crack of dawn, and both were ready to get some sleep in their quarters. It was a small shed where they kept their tools, a few snacks, and their bunks. Lumpy had just finished helping Handy into his bunk, and went to shut the blinds to keep the dawn out of their eyes.

"I mean the amulets Lumpy, I don't think those kids know what they do."

"Keep them from coming back?" Lumpy laughed, "That's silly. No dumb old rock is gonna stop the way we've always lived. You worry too much."

"It's no joke Lumpy, these amulets work."

"How do you know?"

"How do you think I lost my arms?" Handy said, grimly. Lumpy was a little worried by his friend's words, but he shrugged it off.

"Just go to sleep Handy, we'll worry about it tomorrow."

Handy pulled his covers up with his teeth and noticed the lights had gone out, and relaxed.

"Thanks for getting the blinds Lumpy."

"Uh, Handy?" Lumpy nudged him in his bunk, "I didn't close the blinds yet…"

Handy's eyes shot open,

"What? Help me down," Lumpy lifted the beaver out of his bunk, and he ran to the windowsill. Lumpy was right, directly above them there was no light, and the sky was pitch black, no stars even. But in front of them he could still see the daylight. At least, for an instant, then that same darkness fell down in front of them, and Handy nearly fell backwards in shock.

"What is it?" Lumpy asked, while Handy grabbed the doorknob with his teeth, and ran outside. Lumpy followed his panicked friend.

"Handy, Handy where are you , yikes." Lumpy saw the wall of darkness in front of them.

"What do you think it is?" Handy asked, awestruck.

"I don't know," Lumpy said, "But we need to get help! I'll go to the ranger's station!"

"Lumpy wait!" Handy tried to stop him, but of course he couldn't stick his hand out to try. Lumpy sprinted straight into the darkness and disappeared from sight. But, only a few moments later, he ran back out.

"I told you it was too dangerous," Handy said, "Just be thankful you were able to turn around and come back."

"But… I ran straight forward."

Handy and Lumpy both exchanged worried looks, before Lumpy said, "I'll go tell Pop, you wait here!"

"Lumpy wait, Pop's office is the other," But Lumpy had already run into the wall of darkness again. Handy gave his trademark frustrated look, before heading out himself to go warn Pop. Moments later, after Handy had gone, Lumpy reappeared, looked around, and ran back into the darkness.

He was gonna be there a while.

* * *

Just gonna go ahead and pretend this was on time…

Don't hunt me down like Deadliving, I've got children to worry about!

Pippy: Only kid you've got is me guv!"

Phoenix: Okay fine! Just take her first!

Pippy: You can really feel the love, eh folks?


	21. A Little Red Birdie

**Author's Note**

….

**Happy Tree Camp**

"_A Little Red Birdie"_

_Starring  
Sniffles!  
_

He couldn't sleep. That little blue anteater just couldn't fall asleep, and he knew exactly why. He was playing right into Pop's plan, and it disgusted him. He still wasn't sure of the grand scheme of things, but he was making them mortal. Sure, without the constant threat of dying each day, they would certainly live a better life, but was it really right to trick them like this? They're only children, they have families.

"What if one of them slipped up, what if someone died?" He sat at the desk, on the first floor of Pop's cabin asking himself that question. It was a little haunting at times, maybe

"Maybe we weren't meant to live like this." He whispered, Sniffles had to keep from waking pop above him. He had been allowed to sleep in the more luxurious two story cabin, on the lower floor, for reasons he was never informed of. On the surface it was because he was the camp assistant, but he silently wondered if it were something else. It was thoughts that kept him up at nights like tonight, so he sat at the radio desk, twisting the dials for who knows what. He was just trying to keep his mind occupied, since the bat was killed Sniffles had nothing to do, aside from disposing of the poison he'd created, which he still hadn't done.

"I should probably do that soon," he said. He meant to tonight, but he had gotten distracted thinking about the children again, that was one reason that he was fiddling with the radio. Something about the white noise of the static soothed him, as well as the dim lights. He hadn't risked waking up Pop; he had kept the lights low and the radio lower. Why exactly he kept twisting the knobs he wasn't sure, perhaps he was hoping to catch a counselor on their radio doing something they shouldn't, or maybe he just wanted someone to chat with.

He twisted the knob a bit to the left, and the machine began a low rumble, which gradually rose to a piercing screech, a scare chord that knocked Sniffles clear off his chair. The screeching continued spliced in with crackling static that only amplified the noise, until Sniffles could drag himself up to the table and silence it. A bit too late, because Pop of course heard the noise and came running down the stairs, clutching his bathrobe with one hand. He turned on Sniffles in an instant,

"What the hell was that?"

Sniffles immediately let go of the machine, "I,I don't know."

"What were you doing up so late?"

Sniffles glanced at his watch, he realized it was nearly dawn, "I couldn't sleep, but the radio, you need to hear this."

Pop's gaze almost stopped him, but Sniffles turned on the large radio, and it exploded with that same hollering static, that seemed to only intensify from the last time. Pop wasn't expecting it, and screamed in response, before he grabbed the lamp off the nearby table and bashed it up against the speakers, silencing it. Sniffles quaked in fear for a moment, and Pop turned to him again,

"What, the hell, was that?"

"I don't know sir, I just.." He was on the verge of tears, almost gasping for breath, "Something's wrong with it, I don't know!"

Pop gritted his teeth, and clutched the lamp harder, the anteater took a step back, but before anything could happen, someone knocked on the door. Sniffles looked away for just a moment, and didn't wait for permission to open it. It was Handy, out of breath and panicked,

"Guys, you need to see this, look at the sky!" Handy pointed skyward with one of his nubs. Sniffles thought it was a little odd that the sun hadn't risen yet, but that was nothing compared to what was really out above them. The entire sky was like a twisting maelstrom of blackness, the entirety of it couldn't even be described as clouds, it was too twisting, too strange to be clouds. It was slick, pitch black, and like ink, like evil. And off in the distance, he couldn't miss the sight of it

Sniffles couldn't even manage a word, before he felt something hard press against his back, his head turned slowly, Pop had pressed the butt of a hunting rifle against his spine. He leaned in and growled in his ear,

"Get the campers, now."

…

A bugle call woke everyone up much earlier than expected, and the campers, their eyes still full of sleep, trudged out of their cabins to find their counselors already awake. In fact, nearly all of them were now armed. Flippy, Meth, Ryder, even Mime were standing beside Sniffles and Pop, holding a rifle each. They looked much more like a military escort than the group of Friends that had watched over the campers. Something was very different, very wrong.

Chunky, for one, was more nervous than usual, he leaned over to Spades, standing closest to him, and whispered, "Spades, what the hell is going on?"

The fox jabbed him with his elbow, and put a finger over his mouth, but they'd already been noticed.

"Excuse me Maggots, is there something you'd like to say?" Flippy shouted, clutching his gun a little too tight. Chunky and Spades both shook their heads, so fast they might have given themselves whiplash.

"Good, now let's keep it that way." It was hard to tell which side of Flippy this was, though it would take a hell of a leader to make Evil be subordinate. The moment Flippy looked away, Spades nudged Chunky again, and motioned his head upward. The moment Chunky looked up, his pupils shrunk in terror. He got a full view of the sky, and had to grab a hold of his lips to stifle his screaming. Spades shook his head in disappointment and patted the koala on the shoulder.

A quick headcount, and Pop seemed to think everyone was present, and began speaking.

"Campers, I'm not entirely sure what is going on here, but there is no need for panic," There were some murmurs among the crowd, and Pop only increased his voice, "I said there is nothing to worry about!"

His cool composure cracked for a moment, giving everyone enough reason to fall silent, "I have my men looking into it, and this is clearly a, a strange storm of some sort, and no reason for alarm. I will kindly request each and every one of you report the mess hall immediately, so there is no possibility of losing anyone! I only care about your safety!"

The campers were hesitant, which only angered Pop, "I said to the mess hall! Now!"

The counselors exchanged worried glances, and advanced on the crowd of campers, pushing and herding them like a bunch of cattle into the mess hall. Within minutes, they were all rounded into the mess all, which was horribly silent because no one could speak for fear of just what was happening. That and the blatant truth that their headmaster was lying to make them feel safe.

Pop and Sniffles were just outside the doors, but before they could walk inside, Pop said without a hint of remorse, not even turning to his assistant,

"Go fix the radio."

Sniffles couldn't believe what he was hearing, "Sir please, I can't risk my life out,"

"I said go! Get out of my face!" Pop swung at him, but the anteater moved out of the way in an instant. Sniffles could only stare, words failed him in a moment of terror. Pop looked down on him, before walking into the mess hall, slamming the door behind him. Sniffles waited a moment, but he couldn't bring himself to walk inside, so he turned and left.

…

But he didn't go back to the cabin. For a moment, he returned, but only to grab his bag, a flashlight, a pocketknife, and his notebook. Then, he ran. At first, he crept, even though he knew from this distance that Pop couldn't hear him. And only once he was sure he couldn't even see the mess hall, he ran. He was running out of time, but the best thing he could do was run blindly into the woods, flashlight barely illuminating the path in front of him. Something had changed in the woods as well, they were deeper, thicker and something else was in them. Noises like he'd never heard were chirping, hissing, growling, like the entire forest was teeming with new, hideous life. And the trees above, they had closed in on him, so much that he couldn't even see the towering temple, what he was trying to get to.

It was almost, no it was too much. The anteater would not, couldn't go on, and leaned up against a tree, panting for breath and terrified of the wind around him. Out of fear, he grabbed the pocketknife from his backpack, and slowly pulled the blade out. It wouldn't be enough to fight something, barely enough to kill a Friend like himself, but it was a morale boost that he needed.

Just then, as he resolved to run deeper into the woods, warmth ran up his spine. Something soothing, like a familiar face or even just someone to stand near. Something was close. It only took him a moment to realize, but a wisp of light, glowing red, bright red, almost pink, was dancing in front of him. It was moving so he couldn't help but smile, like a whimsical little fairy. It spun in the air, before drifting backwards, then springing off in one direction.

And Sniffles, well he couldn't help himself. He followed it, like a little fish following an angler. He was completely aware of how dangerous this was, what he might actually be following. But he didn't care, he completely trusted whatever it was he was following. And as crazy at it would sound, it led him back to the cavern, which was now an entrance to this grand temple. Sniffles hesitated, but, he followed that little wisp of light when it flew into the pitch black cavern, lighting his way.

It only took him a second to realize what he was looking for, that same chamber that contained the prophecy from earlier, wouldn't be too hard to find. In fact, it was all around him. And the stone that cracked and chipped away had revealed more than he had seen earlier. Phoenix was on his knees in one carving, surrounded by angelic creatures that seemed to look down on him. The wisp was actually dancing around them, highlighting what he needed to see. Another one showed Pop, or at least something similar, with a smile on his face, something Sniffles hadn't seen in some time. And on either side of the bear was what Sniffles could only assume was his Wife and Son. But then, the red light flew downward, along the bottom of the chamber, and Sniffles realized there were carvings below him. And the moment he saw what was beneath him, he reached for the pocket knife again, clutching it close.

It was a morale boost, though, and it certainly wouldn't help. And he knew, the moment he heard that

_Hisssss_

…

They were trying their best to hide, Blade, Caramel, Mint, and Cro-Marmot. The girls hadn't known why, but they had found Cro was awake much sooner than either of them, and he was staring out into the sky terrified. Meth was gone, something very strange, and he told them to hide. He drew the blinds, to hide them, and to keep that horrible sky out of sight. Only when the other campers, Tyler and Chunky, had left to go be rounded up, did he tell them it was safe.

"Girls, I, I don't know how to tell you this, but things have gone south."

"You're telling me!" Caramel chimed, "When I got here it was summer and I was a raccoon. Now the sky is pitch black and I'm a badger."

"But you don't understand. Something, someone has brought about something horrible."

"Please don't tell me," Mint pulled a pillow over her head, she was really hell bent on not knowing what Cro was about to say. Nevertheless, he continued,

"Someone has started a Montijan ritual, and somebody, with serious magical prowess, has dredged up the temple!" Cro was seriously panicked, "You see, nothing like this has happened in at least a millennia! Because, there hasn't been a Montijan alive since then!"

"How in the," Blade began, but cut herself off, "The soul jar!"

Cro's eyes widened, "You don't think,"

"That there was a Montijan spirit in that jar!" Mint sprung out of her bed.

"And whoever had my body," Caramel added, "Let them out and used them to start this ritual!"

If Cro had a monocle, he'd have lost it by now, "Good lord! We need to get to the temple, immediately!"

"Are you off your rocker, Pop's got the camp on lockdown, and even if we could, why in the hell would we risk our lives to get to that temple!" Mint said, "We don't have any weapons, any equipment, we're just a bunch of ordinary girls!"

There was a silence. Cro wanted to add in that he wasn't a girl, but decided against it, given it would barely better their situation. Suddenly, Caramel's eyes widened in a way that made everyone nervous,

"Well, we do have something. We've got cider!"

Mint tried her best to be the voice of reason, "Oh no, there's no way! Besides, we've already seen what it does to us."

"Not exactly," Caramel corrected, "We've got two animals that haven't been tested."

"A marmot, and a badger."

* * *

*I'm hypnotized, did you forget?*

...


	22. Rallying the Troops

**Author's Note**

Man, I gotta finish this in time for the big Christmas Surprise….

Whoops, that's saying too much. You didn't hear anything, right?

Can't let them know, after all it isn't finished yet….

**Happy Tree Camp!**

_"Rallying the Troops"  
Starring the Camp!_

Under the guise of the now permanent night, Caramel, Blade, Mint and Cro-Marmot, had to now make their way to the Sniffles' workshop, and pray that nobody caught them on the way over. Cro especially had decided, though he wasn't sure what was happening with Pop, he did not want to meet him on bad terms. He went first, being the gentlemen he was, every moment they had to step into a clearing or beside something he didn't trust. He had also brought along his club, which was still flecked with frost from when he had been broken out of the ice, as their only means of defense, should they run into anyone. Thankfully, it seemed like the entirety of the camp was now in the mess hall, either trapped like a prisoner or acting as impromptu guards. But something was making the cave-friend anxious, the closer they got to the workshop, the more slow and deliberate his pace was, which only worried the girls even more considering they couldn't tell what he was so worried about.

When they got closer though, Caramel was the first to notice a quiet cracking, something striking metal dully. She pointed it out, and Blade remarked she couldn't hear it, while Mint just became more and more nervous as time went on. They had almost reached the shack, when Cro extended his hand out. They could hear the thumping noise much more clearly, and peering through the darkness, they could see a figure standing in front of the shack. Cro raised his club, and walked toward the unknown being, but couldn't get close before he stepped on a dry twig and alerted it.

The figure screeched, quite like a girl, and turned a flashlight it had been holding towards Cro, catching him off guard. But, instead of attacking, whoever it was dropped to their knees and started pleading.

"Please, please don't hurt me! It was all Flippy's idea I swear!" They immediately recognized the voice, it was Disco Bear. He scanned the flashlight around quickly, and noticed the girls standing nearby. He quickly and shamefully stood and brushed the dirt from his bellbottoms.

"Disco," Caramel sighed, "What are you doing out here?"

"Well, erm, I was," He fell to his knees again, "You guys gotta help me! Pop's gone mad with power and,"

"We know," Mint interrupted, "we're trying to get away from him and figure out what's going on at the mountain."

"Oh," Disco stood again, "I suppose that makes sense, about why you weren't at the mess hall. Nobody else noticed though. Wait, why do you two sound like,"

"Don't ask." Caramel groaned.

"What are you doing here?" Blade inquired.

"Well, you see kiddos, I was gonna," He pointed to the door, "break in here, steal some of Sniffles' crazy poison and use it to assassinate Pop! Then, I was gonna lead the other counselors in,"

"Wait a minute!" Cro interrupted, "You're telling me you were going to murder our headmaster? Corrupted he may be, but it is merely a lapse in judgment, we need to leave him out of the equation before we formulate a plan."

Disco cocked an eyebrow in confusion, and Cro-Marmot sighed, trying again,

"What I mean is we need to forget about Pop for now and take care of whoever's trying to conduct this Montijan ritual."

"Monty-who now?" Disco cocked his head to the side, becoming ever more confused by the second. The group ignored him, and decided that it would be best to get inside the workshop without any more fuss. Of course, Disco didn't notice this as they walked past him towards Sniffles' workshop, "Hey guys, I don't know what you're gonna do, but there ain't no way you're getting in there. Trust me, I've been bashing the lock with a rock for a solid ten minutes."

"Disco, we are gentlemen," Cro said, without turning from the door, "So we must knock, as it is the polite thing to do"

Cro lifted his fist high above his head, and brought it down on the door, smashing it to splinters with a single, calm blow. The girls ran in ahead, while Disco stared wide-eyed at what just happened, while Cro simply smiled a smug smile, with one hand extended to his friend,

"After you." He said plainly.

Disco carefully stepped over the shattered door, with Cro right behind him. The Mint and Blade had already begun shuffling through the desks and draws to find something that might help, but it seemed to be useless. Everything in the shack was either broken, never worked, or a tool. Caramel had gone straight to the vat of cider, which was still sitting in the corner. The burners underneath it were off though, and cold to the touch.

"Here, the only way we're gonna get anywhere is if we start drinking cider!" Caramel grabbed a paper cup from the table beside her, "If this thing can mutate one of us into a giant monster we'll be set! So, everybody start chugging!"

She scooped up a cupful of the cider, and before anyone could stop her, she gulped down the entirety of it. Caramel swallowed, and sighed, looking into the cup "Hmm, it never tastes as good cold."

Mint ran over and slapped her, "Are you nuts? You just drank an entire cup of that stuff, after what it did to you? To me?"

"After what it did to a raccoon," Caramel corrected, "If I get this stuff right, something different is going to happen while I'm in Blade's body." She scooped up another cup and handed it to Blade, still in Flaky's body. She grabbed two more Styrofoam cups and passed them to Disco and Cro as well.

"And if a Marmot and a bear drink it, something completely different will happen!"

Disco looked into the cup, apprehensively, "Um, Caramel, what makes you think this'll work?"

"Yes, I have to admit even I'm not sure of the liability of this one," Cro added.

"It's simple guys," Caramel said, "It's merely rewriting parts of our internal DNA to create mutations in us. And it's quite obviously working the same changes on each one of us, given the similarities between mine and Mint's transformations. The only difference is in the basic DNA that is has to work with."

There was an utter silence; nobody could quite comprehend what Caramel had just said. They understood, for the most part, what she was telling them, but the shock of her, of all people, saying it was just too much. Cro and Disco absentmindedly downed their entire cups, and Caramel suddenly perked up,

"Thirsty now!" She said, and seemed to blurr as she moved from the vat and back. She held two cups, even though nobody had been able to see her pick them up, simply because she was moving too fast. She quickly gulped down the first cup and handed the other to Blade.

"Here! Drink!"

Blade of course wanted nothing to do with it, "Flaky, I can't,"

"Do it! Do it quick!" She was even starting to speak quickly, until her sentences drowned out into a blurr "Given the rapidly mutating rate of species in this world the odds of even seeing a creature like yourself undergo a similar transformation in our lifetime is nearly, " Caramel was bouncing up and down from excitement, and nearly vibrated through the floor. Finally, Blade cocked her head back and slurped up the cider. She felt woozy for a moment, but it subsided quickly. She glanced over to Cro and Disco, to see how the cider had affected them. But, only Disco was there, and hovering a few feet over the ground. And getting higher, and higher above her. In fact it seemed like the entire room was stretching out above her.

"Uh, Blade?" She looked to her left, and Caramel's, or more rather her, leg was next to her, and the size of a skyscraper.

"Looks like we found out what it does to porcupines," Blade squeaked from her now diminutive height. Caramel reached to her and she crawled up onto her friend's shoulder. She called the others together, Disco, who elected to drift over, and Cro(or at least they think it was Cro-Marmot, all they could hear were his footsteps) and Mint, who had not bothered to sample any more cider, given it would have the same, useless effects.

"Alright guys," Caramel said, "We've got to find whoever stole my body and whoever's pulling off this ritual, and chances are they're one in the same. So, are we ready to rock?"

Caramel held her hand forward, and looked to her friends. Disco immediately put his hand in, followed by Mint, and some unseen hand(Assuming it was Cro, he was probably invisible at this point), and even Blade ran out onto their hands.

"Team break!" Caramel shouted, and the group tossed their hands in the air, inadvertently throwing the mouse-sized Blade across the room. God only knew what they were going to do, but they were going to do it.

…

"And if I catch any of you, any of you at all attempting to leave, you will receive the utmost punishment! I swear it! Just remember, this is all for your protection!" Said Pop, still fuming from the lecture he'd been giving. It had been a good ten minutes since he started, but unlike the last few speeches, this one was bitter. It was almost like he was blaming them for what was happening, and though he may have quieted the murmurs of suspicion, he certainly hadn't comforted them.

He turned to Flippy, and nodded to the soldier, who still held his rifle. Then he turned to Mime, and unceremoniously pulled his gun from his hand, remarking something along the lines of "I'll be needing it more than you," and leaving for his cabin.

The moment he was gone, of course, the noise began to stir up again. The campers especially needed to talk in a situation like this, just to calm their nerves.

"What the hell man? This isn't right, they can't just trap us like a Demoman at out spawn!" Tyler complained to Chunky, sitting beside him on the bench. Petunia had curled up next to Chunky, pretending to sleep, while she just needed someone to sit beside.

Maria and Ollie were watching Cuddles, who was sitting beside Giggles, trying to calm the chipmunk as she had a breakdown from the stress. She was taking it pretty well compared to Zehuva, who had thrown herself to Flippy's feet, who was trying his best to ignore her.

Lifander was rocking nervously on his seat, while Ruffy, sitting next to him, was relatively calm, trying to strike up small talk with him about just anything he could to try and get off the subject of their bleak little situation. Slick, sitting across from them, didn't seem too concerned with himself, much more with Lammy, who had fallen asleep in his lap. He took some comfort in stroking her woolen head as she rose and fell with her breaths.

Across the room, DJ was trying to plan how he'd escape, with Lifty and Shifty in tow. But Brooke kept catching them off guard, and started playing with them, threatening to tell Flippy if they didn't include her in on the scheme. Toothy had ended up alone, twiddling his thumbs and wondering just how he'd ended up the Luigi of the group, while Mae chose to enjoy a cigarette by herself.

Niki, though, had taken to talking to Ryder, who had stopped "Guarding" the children the moment Pop had left, and retired to drinking his vodka.

"Ryder, I'm seriously freaked out."

He mulled over his drink for a second, before responding, "I wish I could tell you that it'd be okay, little one. But it looks bad."

"What's going on?" she inadvertently raised her voice, and a few others overheard her.

"The bat, I would suppose," Ryder took another heavy swig of his drink, "I knew that thing wouldn't die this easily."

"What kind of thing can't be killed easily?" Niki wondered aloud, though for the longest time she was such a creature, all of them were technically.

Others were drawing closer, to listen to whatever story the old Russian dog was about to tell,

"You see, this was no ordinary creature, I'd hate to say, but I suppose it's no use concealing this one anymore. A while back, during the cold war, for whatever reason a few of our Russian scientists had begun research on making creatures more resistant to pain, and ultimately death. What we ended up with is the creature known as Gouge. He wasn't originally a bat, no, he was a lab rat. We thought he died, but he ended up taking over a worker in the facility. We'd messed up, bad, and he got loose. They sent me, all the way from Russia to these woods to hunt him down, and I've spent a good twenty years of my life here trying to kill it."

"But you couldn't pull it off, eh?" Meth chuckled, interrupting the story, "So our nation sent their own genetic freak to catch it, me. And damnit I've tried for five years and all I've learned is that somewhere along the lines, it took control of a Native Montijan living within the mountains, which is where he got his Bat persona."

"And here we are again," Ryder laughed, "No closer than we ever were! Think we're ever going to get that thing?"

Before Meth could answer, DJ called out from across the room, "What the hell are you two laughing about? Think it's funny that you guys couldn't accomplish what you've been sent to do? You've got the best damn opportunity of your life, and you're gonna waste it?"

Ryder looked directly at Meth, who could only smile in response. The two stood, and cocked their rifles.

"Shall we dance?" Ryder said, and bowed to let Meth go first. But before they could take a step forward, he felt something tugging on his pants. Niki was trying to stop him,

"Are you guys crazy? Going out like this, you're gonna get killed!"

"Sorry Niki, this is something I need to do," He said, but the moment he turned, he walked straight into Flippy.

"I don't know where you're going, soldier," He said, "But we've got orders to guard these kids, and I don't go back on orders."

Ryder was about to say something less than polite to Flippy, but Meth caught him, "Hey, what if, um… What if the kids came with us?"

"Are you nuts?" Flippy said, "I don't think many of these kids would be willing to risk their life for your petty game."

Ryder and Meth both looked at each other and smiled, and then looked back to the campers and Ryder shouted,

"So, kids, who wants to risk your life following a bitter, drunken Hyena into the woods to end a blood feud?"

There was an utter silence, quite obvious. But before Flippy could comment on it, Tyler stood up from the crowd and shouted, "I want to, and so does he! Right Chunky?"

Chunky, however, was remaining seated, "Oh you did not just try to,"

"I want to!" Petunia stood up next to him, and Chunky had no choice,

"I want to…" He stood, his head hanging.

And then Maria shot up, "I do! I totally do!"

Ollie followed, "Don't forget me!"

And pretty soon the entire cafeteria was filled with a chorus of "ME!"'s and "I do!"'s that nearly deafened Flippy. Defeated, he shook his head and saluted Ryder,

"Well then, I guess we're going AWOL?"

"I guess you would be right, Comrade," Ryder kicked the front door open, "Let us kill some bat."

…

Russell couldn't believe he'd slept in. The entire nautical branch of the camp depended on him being prompt. The fishing lines needed to be threaded, the boats re-waxed, the fish chumed. So much to do and such little time. He was just pulling up a pair of fishing boots up onto his pegs, when someone knocked on the door. It was the strangest thing, though, when he opened the door it was still night out.

Pippy was at the door, a worried expression on her face.

"Russell, you've gotta 'elp me. Me dad's gone missin'"

* * *

Still technically on time! STILL TECHNICALLY ON TIME!


	23. Lullaby

**Author's Note**

Ho-ho-ho!

…

Nah, that wasn't right.

HO HO HO!

Er, no. That's not it either.

Meeeeeerrry Crimbo!

Screw it, long story short I've got a very special surprise in store for all of you which will be arriving (Hopefully) on Christmas day! That's right, pry yourself away from your family and loved ones and plop your face in front of a computer in order to view the newest delight I have to offer. Be on ol' Deviant Art and check my page(Same name, same game) for a very special surprise!

Until then, let's view in on what horrors and chaos await our campers on this episode of

**Happy Tree Camp!**

Russell let the little rabbit into the boathouse the moment she'd arrived. Her worried expression would take no other answer from the sea captain. He waited until she had taken a seat on a barrel of chum and relaxed her jittery nerves a bit before he let her speak. Of course, the moment she was able to, she wound up again, nearly falling off her seat with frustration and anxiety,

"Russell, you gotta 'elp a girl out! Me dad's gone missin' and I don't 'ave 'alf a clue where 'e went!"

"Now hold on Lassie," Russell tried to reason with her, but she kept going on,

"You don't understand! If me dad doesn't get back soon the entire story'll be ruined!"

"Wait, a story? What in the name of all that's nautical could you possibly be talking about?"

Pippy sighed, and motioned for Russell to sit down, "Okay, this'll take a while, 'ave a seat."

Russell pulled up a small crate full of hooks and sat on the edge while Pippy began her story;

"My dad is the fella you all call Phoenix," Russell opened his mouth to speak, but Pippy held a paw over his face.

"Lemme finish, will ya? My dad's Phoenix, ya hear? And my dad is a special sort a guy, calls himself a, a otter?"

Russell squinted out of confusion, and Pippy paused, embarrassed she must have said something wrong.

"A, a guy what writes books, an Otter!"

Russell laughed, "Oh, you mean an Author, a person who writes books is called,"

"I got that!" Pippy snapped, ""cept 'is story's much more important, 'cause all of ya are in it!"

Russell suddenly looked very happy, "Someone wrote a book about me? Well, I'm no romantic sailor, but I suppose my life might make a nice book. Do you know if he has any movie rights?"

Pippy grabbed her ears and nearly pulled them off, screaming in frustration, "No! You don't get it, this story's ain't just a story, its your life! Me dad is writing everything that's 'appening! 'e's in control! And now 'e's gone missing and the story's gone wrong! Somebody's makin' 'im write!"

All that Pippy got for her effort, though, was a blank stare, a very quiet boathouse, and a very confused Russell. She screamed again, pounding the sides of her head with her fists like a drum out of pure anger. She grabbed Russell by the collar and dragged him over to the door, before kicking it open, and directing his head skyward.

The moment he got a glimpse of the swirling black sky and the temple on the horizon, the superstitious old sailor began to understand the magnitude of the situation.

"What in the world," He mumbled, under his breath.

"Understand now?" Pippy had lost her already slim patience, and it was showing, "I need to get over to that temple now!"

Russell looked across the darkened lake with a grimace, the temple looming over them only worsened the situation. But just as he was going to argue with the rabbit, he looked down at the fire in her eyes. He winced; realizing that there was no way that he was going to convince her otherwise. Then, with a defeated look on his face he said,

"Okay, fine. We're gonna go rescue your dad little one."

"Good! Now if we wanna get over there soon, we'll,"

"Just a moment Pippy," Russell interrupted, "I need to get a few things for the journey, shan't take more than a minute."

He ran back into the boathouse, and after a terrible clattering and several mumbled curses from inside, he returned, with a few extra items. In one hand he had a lantern with a candle and some strange herbs burning in it, and in the other he held a crucifix. On his head a number of four leaf clovers and spell tags were attached to his hat, and around his neck were an eyeball pendant, a horseshoe, and a shark tooth necklace.

Pippy groaned and planted her face into her palms, before daring to ask, "What in the 'ell are you doing with all that junk?"

"Can't take any risks lassie, not when there be evil in the air!" He said proudly, "Black sky in morning, sailor's warning, and all that! I got a burning incense to scare off ghosts, cross to ward away the devil, clovers for luck, a gypsie eye to watch out for ghouls, me lucky shark tooth, and,"

"Can we just get going?" Pippy's tone reflected just how embarrassed she was of how much she was now relying on this nutcase. He led her down the side of the docks, where their best bet was to get to Phoenix quickly was waiting for them. Sure, it was only a rusted out metal boat with a rickety engine, but it would serve to carry them straight to the base of the mountain.

Russell let Pippy in first, and asked her to hold the cross and lantern while he started up the engine. It took a few good tugs on the ripcord to get the old motor working, but the moment it's rusted blades kicked into action, they were flying across the surface of the water. It would only take them a few minutes to get to the other side of the lake, and Pippy couldn't believe it, but she was enjoying the ride.

That was, until something snagged their engine. The boat came to such an abrupt stop that Pippy was nearly thrown out of the boat, and dangled over the side until Russell pulled her back up. She lost the cross in the tumble, but managed to keep a hold of the lantern, even if the sudden toss had snuffed the flame out, leaving them in complete darkness.

"S'alright lassie," Russell assured, "Probably just some seaweed caught in the motor. Lemme just relight this lantern and we can get a move on." He pulled a box of matches from his pants pocket(Or more accurately impaled a box of matches in his pocket with his hook hand) and struck one with his good hand. But before he could bring the flame to wick, something tugged on the boat and he fumbled the match over the side of the boat, where it plunged into the murky depths.

Pippy and Russell both exchanged worried looks, and he desperately struck another match, trembling as he relit the lantern. The sigh of relief as it brightened the darkness around the boat was short lived, because the tiny dinghy shook even more, and tilted to one side, almost as if someone was climbing aboard.

Russell's face, which Pippy could barely see in the dim light that the lantern allowed, was still visible enough for the rabbit to tell how terrified he was. Something grabbed the side of the boat and pulled itself up with a wet, awful thudding and Russell jumped to the front of the boat with Pippy, shining the light on the figure that was now joining them in their ride. It was a rotting, corpulent, waterlogged zombie that appeared to be another Friend. It had only one arm, the other seemed as though it had been gone for some time, and its head had no eyes, probably rotted out. And even though it had only a few clumps of fur dotting its body, and its skin was a greasy, disgusting green, Russell immediately knew it was a stoat. Not just any stoat, but,

"Marcus the Carcass!" Russell shrieked. He nearly dove off the boat in fright, but Pippy had other plans. She grabbed the lantern from Russell's hand,and began bashing the stoat with it, until the corpse was thrown overboard again. Then, she frantically grabbed the engine's ripcord, tugging it in an effort to start the motor again.

"What in the world was that?" Russell couldn't believe his eyes, "Did you just clock an ex-convict zombie murderer?"

"'e wasn't," Pippy said, between tugs, "A convict! 'e was a dumb, ol' clown! Part of the story, which is , why I'm so worried! It ain't suppose to 'ave h'appened yet! Now, 'elp me out, with this dumb motor!"

Russell reached over the edge of the boat and saw, with the lantern's light, that the motor had been snagged on seaweed, just as he thought. He quickly reached down with his hook and tore it away, and on the next tug Pippy restarted the engine, sending them back on course.

The boat was speeding along, but even then it would take a few minutes to reach the mountain. Russell decided he'd use the time to ask something that had been bugging him,

"Hey Pippy, I need to know, how did you know about the,"

"I told you, it was part of the story," Pippy didn't turn her gaze from straight ahead, focused on the temple.

"Oh." Russell said, "Well I was just wondering, what was the story behind it? The clown I mean."

Pippy suddenly seemed very interested, "Oh! Phoenix 'ad the greatest idea for 'im." She readjusted her seat to face Russell and tell him the story,

'E was suppose ta try and kill everybody, but then Disco was gonna realize that 'e'd seen Marcus's old uniform before. Y'see, Marcus was a clown, who was always gettin' shown up by this magician, so 'e took up knife juggling and attracted a crowd, but…."

For a moment, on their way to save her father, Russell saw Pippy smile. A real, earnest, happy smile that showed just how much she really loved her dad. And it made him forget for a moment about the skies above him and the dangers ahead.

…

His head was pulsing with pain, horrible anxiety raced his blood through his veins while his heart was pounding out of his chest. Sweat beaded down his forehead while his lungs clenched for breath. Because Sniffles knew exactly what was happening at this moment, he had just become prey. That dreadful hissing echoed throughout the halls around him, and all around his head. At first, he ran for the exit, that same sprite hovering just above his head. It was nearly impossible to tell the inside of the chamber from the outside, had it not been for the torches lit all around the outside, that he could see from the tunnel. He ran for it with all his might, but before he could make it, the beast stalking him leapt from the shadows and revealed itself.

It was something he'd never imagined, nothing he'd even read of, but there was only one thing on his mind. That carving couldn't have possibly captured how horrifying it really was.

It was a giant snake like creature, made of scales, muscle and venomous spite. But at the end, where its head would be, was a human woman, with knots of snakes in place of long hair. The woman's eyes were serpentine, and a forked tongue flickered in and out of its thin, toxic lips. A man might find the temptress on the end attractive, but Sniffles could only see how terrifying and alien it all was to him. It hissed, and started for him, slowly approaching on its hideous writhing tail. Sniffles was paralyzed by fear, until that little red sprite twirled around his head, glowing to attract his attention. He looked to it, and followed the light as it spun to the ground, lighting the path the beast was slithering on. On it were carvings, of what looked like priests, raising their hands to a carving of the beast before him.

And above it was a stanza of music. Sniffles quickly looked at the notes, then at the approaching monstrosity. He only knew a little music, but it would be enough to read what was before him. He had no other option, and began humming aloud. The snake paused, but only for a moment. It wasn't enough. Sniffles tried bellowing the notes, even with his voice cracking, he was screaming more than singing, and but it seemed to be working.

It began to sway, back and forth, following his rhythm. Its movements became slower, and slower until it was barely keeping its head in the air. And finally, it fell to the ground, barely moving with its breath. He had just sung its lullaby. The anteater could barely comprehend what was going on, but he could only think to get away, and tiptoed over the freakish monster, only daring to get out his walkie-talkie when he had escaped the temple.

….

"I can't believe this, this isn't happening!" Chunky was twitching his entire chubby body out of fright, and shouting to almost nobody. Even Tyler wasn't listening to him, "Why are they bringing us? Why? Shouldn't we call the military, or the police, or the Men in Black? My cousin Reginald works in the CIA, maybe we could call him and,"

"Chunky?" Petunia, walking next to him, called sweetly, "Shut up."

Up ahead, Ryder and Meth were leading the party, and despite the bear's best efforts, Ryder could tell he was excited.

"So, here we go again eh, pal?

"It's the funniest thing Ryder, but" Meth said, smiling, "I'm almost enjoying the thought of fighting this thing again."

"Hah!" Ryder exploded with laughter, "You're a twisted bastard, just what these children need!"

Meth laughed, and almost said something back, but never got the chance. In an instant, the ground ruptured beneath them, a snake, the same freakish breed that had attacked Sniffles, leapt out from the depths. Ryder and Meth, as well as Flippy a few feet back, began firing on it, to no avail. It didn't feel anything, but whipped around violently, almost too fast for the two veterans to dodge.

Flippy, still firing from a distance, heard something rattle in the trees above him. But before he could act, something, another snake, fell down from the trees, clasping him tight in its human hands, while swatting violently at the group of campers, too frightened to move, and Flippy could do nothing to fight the grip of the monster. Zehuva, however, ran right up to the freak, and began pounding on its tail with a rock.

"Let go of my Flippy-boo you hussy!" She screamed at the snake. And even though Flippy swore it must have been a figment of his imagination, he saw the snake roll its eyes before swatting away the little bear.

Mime attempted to get the children away, but it was no use, two more of the snake-creatures appeared from the woods before they could react and snatched up and attacked any children that they could. The entire party was falling into chaos at the monsters, children running left and right, only to be snatched up by more snakes approaching from the woods around them. In the confusion, Ryder, hiding behind a tree to avoid the snakes, heard the walkie talkie click. He grabbed it from his belt, and held it, hearing Sniffles' voice on the other end,

"Hello, hello is anyone out there?"

"Sniffles, its Ryder, what's going on, where are you?"

"I'm at that temple, I escaped, and listen, you're never going to believe this. I've run into a,"

"A snake creature?"

"H-how did you,"

"No time, we're surrounded by them and they've got the campers!" He was shouting like it was a war zone.

"Listen, you need to sing! Music will put them to sleep!"

"Oh you've got to be shitting me," Ryder mumbled, and shouted into the fray, "Someone! Anyone! Sing! It's our only hope!"

The campers and the counselors all looked to each other, but nobody had any idea who could sing. Zehuva almost raised her hand, but was smacked away by a snake tail, much to everyone's relief. Spades grabbed Mae's hand, and pulled her forward,

"Hey! You said you sing, right?"

Mae went wide-eyed, "I-I can't sing now! I'm no good anyway!"

"He didn't say you had to be good, just go!" He pushed her out into the path of one of the snakes, and she nearly wet herself with fright. Then, she found something, deep in her heart, and mustered up her courage, before belting in her raspy, dark, but somewhat beautiful voice. The Snakes all froze in their tracks, staring wide-eyed at the little girl singing her heart out with a cigarette in one hand,

_MAE_

_Oh Lord, won't you buy me a Mercedes Benz ?  
My friends all drive Porsches, I must make amends.  
Worked hard all my lifetime, no help from my friends,  
So Lord, won't you buy me a Mercedes Benz ?_

_Oh Lord, won't you buy me a color TV ?_  
_Dialing For Dollars is trying to find me._  
_I wait for delivery each day until three,_  
_So oh Lord, won't you buy me a color TV ?_

_Oh Lord, won't you buy me a night on the town ?_  
_I'm counting on you, Lord, please don't let me down._  
_Prove that you love me and buy the next round,_  
_Oh Lord, won't you buy me a night on the town ?_

Everybody!

The other campers joined in, reluctantly singing

_EVERYONE  
Oh Lord, won't you buy me a Mercedes Benz ?  
My friends all drive Porsches, I must make amends,  
Worked hard all my lifetime, no help from my friends,  
So oh Lord, won't you buy me a Mercedes Benz ?_

And with her last note, the final snake dropped to the ground. All around them they had laid down, soothed from the song. Spades, who had removed his hat for the number, carefully placed it on Mae's head,

"Nice one," He smiled, and she smiled back,

"My grandma sang that to me when I was little," She turned to Ryder, kneeling beside one of them, "So it really put all those snakes to sleep?"

He laid a hand against one of their necks and shook his head, "Nope, they're dead. All of them. Looks like heart attacks to me, and I can only assume it was you. If music soothed them, whatever that was killed them."

Mae scowled, "Everyone's a critic…."

* * *

Heh, I don't even know if ending on that note was appropriate, but the song was **Mercedes Benz **by **Janis Joplin. **I just thought her voice and attitude would fit Mae.

Anyhoooooooo,

There's not gonna be a chapter on Friday, I'm taking the day off, can you blame me? But you'll still be getting that surprise.


	24. Please!

**Author's Note**

Howdy folks, I'm sure most of you are wondering what happened with everything?

Well, if you happened to live in the northeast, you'd know we got blasted with a mother of a snowstorm, and most of my town lost power. So I was unable to update yesterday.  
(Because I totally had one planned, I swear…)

As for that Christmas surprise, well I'm no longer allowed to whip and or beat people preparing presents for me, so I have to wait until they finish it. Trust me, it'll be good.  
(hopefully)

And let me tell you folks, these next two chapters are gonna be the best! These are in fact, our climactic climax, our fantastic finale, our end of days, our absolute best that I've got to offer!  
(Man, it's gonna suck if I don't make these chapters that awesome…)

This chapter is also going to feature a song written by me, and it's called **Please Wait/Please Write**

**Happy Tree Camp!**

He was taking deep breaths now, to keep from losing his temper. Whatever was going on was coming very, dangerously close to ruining everything he had tried to create. I won't say Pop was a bad guy, he certainly wasn't. He had a very good goal in mind, with these amulets that he'd dug up with Handy and Lumpy's help, he was curing everyone of their curse. No more random deaths or suffering. He just wasn't very trusting. Because honestly, if they knew, they might do something stupid, like, try to take off the necklaces. And although he didn't show it very well, he was frightened of just what might be going on.

He returned to the mess hall, clipboard in hand and a rifle around his back, to check on the campers. In the excitement he hadn't a proper headcount, he needed to make sure they were safe above all else after all. But, the moment he pushed open those doors, he had to do all he could to keep from snapping the clipboard he held in half. The mess hall was completely empty, not a soul to be found, and before he could say anything, shout or even open his mouth, Lumpy walked in from the kitchen with a sandwich in one hand and a glass of iced tea in the other.

He grinned his dopey and Pop immediately understood that Lumpy had not yet realized that everyone was missing. He met him halfway and invited the moose to sit down beside him at a nearby table and eat his sandwich.

"Lumpy," Pop started, very slowly, very calmly, "Where are the campers, and the other counselors for that matter?"

Lumpy looked around for a moment, and suddenly realized he didn't see anyone else besides them. He took a moment to think, and answered through a mouthful of lettuce and bologna.

"Playing hide and seek?"

Lumpy's little quip was met with a rifle butt to the snout, and he was cold clocked on the ground. When his staggered vision refocused, Pop was standing over him, clutching his gun. His voice had a sting of acid in it,

"What the hell are you thinking?"

He raised the gun to strike him again, and Lumpy covered his face to shield the blow. He was sniveling, like a child, when he tried to respond, "I, I don't know!"

"What do you mean you don't know?" Pop was shouting now, "Where did they go!"

Lumpy sniffed the blood and snot that was welling up in his nose and tried to respond, "I was in the kitchen! I just went to grab a snack, and when I came back, you were here!"

Pops' knuckles were turning white as he clenched the rifled tighter in his hands, jabbing Lumpy while he spoke, "You idiot! You've ruined everything! They're all going to DIE now! Is that what you wanted, to let everyone around you die!"

Lumpy was sobbing, and Pop couldn't hear anything out of his combination of begging and crying. He struck him one more time with the rifle to quiet him up, and the moose took the hint and fell to a low whimper while Pop turned away from him, and said,

"Well you've done it now! Stay here, and hopefully I can save everyone from your ignorance."

Pop left Lumpy, sobbing and shaking in a corner of the mess hall, and went to find his car, still covered with a tarp beside his cabin. He threw off the cover, climbed inside and threw the rifle into the passenger's seat. With his eyes set on the temple the mountain had become, he turned the key and the engine roared to life.

…

Sniffles couldn't even begin to understand what he was doing, but he felt he had no other choice. And despite his every part of his being telling him this would be the last thing he ever did, he was now ascending the temple steps, ducking under cover whenever he heard the hissing of those hideous snakes. And it was often, he could see better with every step he climbed, and every inch of the camp and woods surrounded was being combed by those creatures. It seemed now like there were dozens of them, and part of Sniffles was climbing the temple just to get further away from them.

And all the while, that little red speck of light was dancing around his head, almost goading him on further. It was crazy to say, sure, but that little glowing light was giving him some courage, some determination. And that little scientist in him was begging to catch in a jar to study later, of course that would have to wait.

The little red light flew just out of his reach as he pulled himself up higher, and he suddenly realized that, besides the hissing, he could hear talking just above him. Sniffles pressed his body up against the rock, and the little light did the same. He cocked his head to one side, lifting his ear a little closer to the conversation,

"Do you see that? In the voods near the camp," He recognized that voice immediately, the bat.

"Yeah, lights. A car." He couldn't tell who the other voice was. It almost sounded like two voices at once, one a little girl's, and the other the devil's.

"I vill go check for myself, you vait here with the Author." The first voice began, "The ritual is nearly over, correct?"

"Yes, by the end of the hour."

"Excellent"

Sniffles heard the sound of running, followed by a rush of air, as if something had just taken flight. He decided to try his luck, and just peered over the edge of the stone. He didn't realize until just then, but he'd reached the top, and on the top was some sort of strange altar.

And on that altar, Phoenix was slouched over a tablet, writing something into the blue stone. And Caramel of all people was watching with anticipation. Before he could make up his mind about what was going on, that same little red sprite flew over his head, and towards Caramel.

It danced around her head, and she began swatting at it, speaking in that same, freakish tone,

"What the hell? Get out of my face you little gnat!"

Sniffles suddenly decided that he didn't have time to waste, and followed that same little sprite up to the altar, he ran up to "Caramel", and shouted,

"Hey, who are you and what do you think you're doing?"

The raccoon turned, and stared at him with clouded purple eyes, "Excuse me? What am I doing? That's rich, coming from someone who is ruining my hard work!"

Sniffles glanced over to Phoenix, who didn't seem to notice either of them.

"What about him?" Sniffles said, "What are you doing with him?"

"Using him, idiot," The raccoon remarked, "Now do me a favor and die!"

"Caramel", or whoever it was, leapt out at Sniffles, and knocked him to the ground, digging into his throat with her nails. She was only a small girl, but Sniffles' wasn't very strong, and could only manage to roll over and knock her aside. He scrambled to the other side of the platform, to avoid being pounced on agai.

"Don't you understand what this is?" the girl shouted, "This is out of your grasp, twerp! We're harvesting the power of a god, so just sit tight until we're finished and I promise to kill you quickly! Sound go,"

Before she could finish that little red light began dancing around her head, distracting her, and Sniffles did something that surprised even him. He charged the little girl, and before she knew what was happening, he had snatched her up by the hem of her dress and was holding her out over the side of the temple.

Bravery or desperation, whatever was fueling him, it was working.

"Who are you?" He asked, feeling like he finally had control over the situation.

"Peh! This changes nothing," The girl was still defiant, and dug her nails into his arms, "You want to know who I am?"

Her voice changed suddenly, that hint of Caramel, the girl inside, disappeared. Now, it was the voice of something evil, "I am χορεύτρια, a demon of the Montijan people! I have powers you can't imagine, I am immortal! Is that enough for you?"

The demon took advantage of his shock and pushed itself onto him, knocking him backwards, before beginning to pound on his face with its small, though quick paws. One blow knocked his glasses off, and he used his strength to shove the pint-sized demon off his chest to grab them before they slipped from the edges.

The moment he put them on, he looked down, through now cracked lenses, and saw a crowd of campers begin to form around the temple. It looked as though the entire camp had come. He didn't know how though, it seemed impossible to get past Pop, but they'd done it.

Of course, they were down there, and he was up here, so they couldn't help when the little demon leapt onto his back and tried to wrestle its little hands around his throat.

"Think they're gonna save you?" It whispered in his ear, "Watch, my friends will kill them just as easily as I will kill you!" And then the demon shouted into the blackened sky,

"Naga! Scourge of the Montijan people! Rise from the dark and strike down my foes, so that you may feast upon their carcasses!"

As the demon spoke, the snakes began to draw inward from the woods, taking the campers below by surprise. Sniffles was able to toss the demon from his back, but he could only watch as the snakes began to attack the group below. But, amazingly enough, what the anteater saw wasn't them being slaughtered like lambs by the beasts. No, they fought back.

He looked to the northern side, and Meth, Flippy and Ryder had each began to fight a snake, dancing around it so it couldn't keep track of them, before Ryder leapt up onto it's back, hooting and hollering while it whipped around under him. And to the southern side of the temple, Maria and Ollie were tossing rocks at a snake, and managed to lure it in close enough for Lifander to fall down on it with a fishing net. Nearby Chunky was running, horrified, while Tyler attempted to ride a snake himself. Okay, so not everyone was winning, but they certainly had the upside.

When Sniffles turned back to the altar, the Demon was about to pounce on him again, but he anticipated the strike, and scooped its tiny body up in his arms and tossed it aside.

"Hah!" He was sounding very proud now, "Looks like your little ritual is over!"

The demon stood back up, its purple eyes glowing more intensely now, "Really? And what have you done to stop it? You idiot, Phoenix is still writing, and I grow stronger by the second!" The demon pointed a finger at Sniffles, and one of the torches along the altar spewed flame that lined the floor around him in a ring of fire.

"Uh, good point." Sniffles said, suddenly sounding less sure of himself.

"Glad we've reached an understanding, because you see, now that he's begun writing, not a single one of you little hopeless imbeciles will stop him!"

Just then, something shot out of the darkness, a rope with a small rock on the end of it lashed out and spun around a torch. And something darted out of the woods and up the side of the temple quicker than the blink of an eye, it was Blade, or in actuality Caramel. Disco Bear joined them too, swooping in from above like a seventies Superman. Then, something hit the ground beside them with a loud thud, it was Cro-Marmot, still invisible. And finally, Mint pulled herself up with the rope, before untying the "Rock tied to the end of it, Blade(still in Flaky's body)

"Oh yeah?" Caramel said, "What about these hopeless imbeciles!"

Disco leaned in and said something into her ear, and she immediately responded, "I mean, these heroes!"

The demon leapt in front of Phoenix, growling, "NO! Stay away! You will not interfere with this ritual!"

Someone, however, plucked it off the altar, Cro-Marmot in fact, and the little demon now appeared to be helplessly floating in the air. Caramel waltzed up to the demon in her body with a smug grin on her face, "We'll deal with you later," She said, "But for now…"

The group turned their attention to Phoenix, who wasn't moving from the altar. Disco started tugging on his back, and Mint grabbed Disco's hips as well to pull, but he remained there like a stone, still scrawling on the slate in front of him. Caramel screamed in his ear with her high pitched voice, but still nothing. In one desperate attempt, Cro swung his club with enough force to shake the entire temple beneath them, but Phoenix didn't even flinch under the blow.

It seemed it would be impossible to move him now.

"If only there was something to snap him out of it, some way to remind him who he was," Caramel bemoaned out loud.

"Forget it!" The demon cackled, though still in Cro's grasp, "There will be nothing that can stop this ritual now! Nothing! The bat will gain omnipotent power, and I will finally be free of this wretched plane!"

"Oh shut up!" Mint shouted, "Nobody cares what you have to say. Seriously, though, don't we have anything that would help? Something Phoenix loves?"

Blade raised her hand, and because of her size, almost nobody noticed her at first, "Um, I have an idea, but it won't be pretty..."

"What's the plan, little lady?" Disco asked, still leisurely floating about.

"Follow my lead," Blade said, and Mint lifted her up on the palm of her hand towards Phoenix.

_BLADE  
Phoenix, can you hear me?  
It's Blade, I'm your friend!  
Please wait, please wait!  
Why can't you understand?  
This writing isn't yours, this isn't your work!  
Just stop listening to that low down jerk!_

The demon wrestled itself from Cro-marmot's invisible grip, and ran up beside Phoenix. He looked like he was slipping from the spell's grasp. It began singing, in a fake, saccharine girl's voice.

_DEMON  
Phoenix, Phoenix,  
What are you trying to do?  
Finish your story please?  
We want to hear from you!  
Please Write, Please Write!  
Haven't you heard?  
Millions are hanging on your every word!  
Please write!_

Around the temple, Campers had subdued the snakes chasing them, and were beginning to ascend the temple steps. Chunky and Tyler, in particular, were close enough to hear the singing. Tyler's face lit up and he grabbed Chunky's Hand.

_TYLER/CHUNKY  
Phoenix, it's Tyler/Chunky  
Please cut it out!  
Please listen, Please listen.  
Don't make me shout!  
This story is killing us, can't you see?  
Do it for Pippy if not just for me!  
Please stop!_

Up on top of the altar, the demon was running circles around the group, as they tried to subdue it. It just kept dancing, and kept singing, dodging every time one of them made a grab at it.

_DEMON  
Phoenix, Phoenix,  
Can't you see what they're trying to do?  
They're jealous, those cads, they're ruining you!  
They're Jealous, Stay focused!  
There's more work to do!  
Your fans, your people, are counting on you!  
Please write!_

Phoenix seemed to be drifting in and out of his trance-like state with every verse he heard. Of course, Disco couldn't resist the thought of singing and leapt into the action,

_DISCO BEAR  
Yo Phoenix, hey listen!  
I may not know best,  
But man this is messed up, give it a rest!  
Man hold it, man hold it,  
You're effing insane!  
Can't you see this hold on your brain!  
Please stop!_

Phoenix was nearly there, but before he could blink, the demon belted out another verse, singing like an opera singer now,

_DEMON  
Phoenix!  
Phoenix!  
This world hinges on your every word!  
Phoenix!  
Phoenix!  
How can you bare to go unheard?  
Your in my hands now,  
You follow me now!  
A slave obeys!  
Phoenix! Phoenix!  
Obey! Write!  
Obey! Write!_

_Obey and-_

Unbeknownst to them, even the group that came to rescue Phoenix didn't notice when Pippy and Russell appeared at the temple. Pippy had darted up the steps with vigor, leaving the old sailor several flights below. She leapt up on the demon's last verse and belted,

_PIPPY  
Dad!  
Dad what are you doing?  
I was so worried!  
You left me all alone,  
In such a hurry. _

_I'm so disappointed,_  
_I can't believe my eyes!_  
_This isn't your story,_  
_All of these lies!_

_Open your eyes dad!  
Where is your head!  
Cut this crap out,  
Before we're all dead!_

_JUST STOP!_

The entire camp, surrounded the base of the temple, taking each other's hands, and united in a voice that shook the heavens,

_THE CAMP  
Phoenix, can you hear us?  
Phoenix, can you hear us?  
Phoenix, it's your friends,  
Phoenix, your friends!  
_

_Can you hear us?  
Can you hear us? _

_Please wait!_  
_Please wait!_

_PIPPY  
JUST STOP!_

On that last word, the music cut out, and sitting on the altar, was one very confused Phoenix. He looked around at the group surrounding him, and then down at the slate that he had been writing on. He leapt back in fright, dropping the pen he was writing with.

"Was I just?" He asked, and everyone nodded in unison, "Oh jeez, guys I'm really sorry, I don't,"

"Daddy!" He was cut short by a little rabbit, jumping into his arms.

"Pippy! I didn't mean to do all this, you know that?"

She cuddled into his chest, like an enormous stuffed animal, "I don't care dad, we're safe now."

Phoenix looked over to the demon, who was once again in Cro's invisible grasp,

"Well, looks like you lost again, Shirley."

"I told you to never call me that!" It screamed.

"Well, as long as you're in that body, it'll stay that way. Speaking of which, we need to get you girls back where you belong, it's been a long night…"

…

Out in the darkness, Pop's car thundered through the woods. He could barely see where he was going, but kept an eye on the temple. But before he could get close, something landed on his roof, and dented in inward on his head. He was struck for a moment, and nearly crashed the car, before skidding to a halt. Then, he snatched the rifle beside him and kicked open the door, rolling out onto the grass. Sitting on the roof of his car, was a dark figure, that looked, in the lack of light, like Mumbo. He lowered the gun for a moment, but before he could speak to it, the figure swooped inward, and crashed against him, pinning him to a tree.

Up close, he saw that it was indeed Mumbo, but something was different. His eyes had an evil glow to them. In his panic, Pop managed to strike the crocodile in the stomach, and knock him away. Then, he quickly took aim and sunk a shot into his shoulder, dropping Mumbo to his knees.

Pop readied to take a killing shot on the croc, but something happened. Darkness poured out of the wound, an evil mist that engulfed him in choking purple smoke. And in an instant, Mumbo collapsed, unconscious, and Pop had been changed,

"Yes," He said, "This body vill do nicely. Such fear, such hate! I can mold this into something awful!"

And his devil's laughter cut through even the darkness.

* * *

Just when I think I can take a break, something else evil happens….

Review, or I'll cave ya skull in with my Boston Basher, ya hear?


	25. All's well

**Author's Note**

Then Gordon said, "It's time to finish this ones and for all!"

And he punched the story in the face and the story ended.

**Happy Tree Camp!**

"So, let me get this straight," Sniffles said, adjusting his glasses once again, "You're telling me whatever you write becomes reality, and this bat monster from Russia and a Demon sealed away in a jar conspired together to steal these powers away from you?"

"That'd be the looks of it," Phoenix responded. He was hunched over that same stone tablet that the demon had been making him write on, and seemed to be going over it. Every once in a while he would take a small ballpoint pen from him pocket and scribble something out on it, before deciding he didn't like the wording of it and scribbled it out.

"And on top of that, I'm also supposed to believe that this temple was buried here this whole time, and holds the secret to defeating this curse? And that you're now going to rearrange the bodies of a few campers because they had gotten mixed up earlier?"

Phoenix didn't even look in Sniffles direction, only nodded and grunted something to let him know he was on track.

"This seems like a shoddily put together story, if you ask me." Sniffles remarked.

"Hey!" Phoenix shot a hurt look in the anteater's direction before returning to his writing.

"Well then," Sniffles said, peeking over Phoenix's shoulder as he wrote, "I can only assume you're now going to write what happens next?"

"Not quite, I need to fix what's going on right now," Phoenix looked out over the sides of the temple.

He could see the campers near the bottom, all exhausted from the recent excitement, but some were not so tired that they could help climbing up the side of the temple. A few were already at the top, and admiring the view alongside Caramel and the others. The Demon was still being held in Cro's iron grip, struggling and muttering curses in a tongue most didn't understand.

"Dad, Daaaad!" Pippy was still tugging on Phoenix's shirt, trying to pry his attention away from the tablet, "What are ya goin ta do about that monster bat guy?"

"Pippy, I told you, I've got it all under control," He said, jotting down another quick sentence, "Once I'm finished getting these girls back into their proper bodies… Now where is that Soul Jar?"

On cue, Caramel popped up holding the jar, "Right here, I found it back in the Mess Hall!"

"Excellent, now if we could all gather up right here I can remedy this body swapping." He looked over to Cro-Marmot, "This should work, right?"

"Well, I can't entirely say," A voice from the invisible marmot was all there really was of him right now, "You're the omnipotent one, are you not? But in theory there's no reason it shouldn't work."

"Never said I knew everything," Phoenix said under his breath, "Okay, Blade, Caramel, Shirley, and Flaky, all of you come here."

"Um, Phoenix," Blade said, "Flaky's been missing for some time now. Nobody's seen her since we started swapping bodies."

"Yeah," Caramel added, "We were hoping that when we found whoever had my body we'd find Flaky but,"

"Oh, really?" Phoenix smiled.

Sniffles suddenly noticed that the ball of light was still floating around his head. It spun around him quickly, and then flew over to Phoenix

He held out his hand and the little wisp of red light landed on it, still glowing softly. He lowered the wisp down onto the tablet, and it started to glow purple, and then blue, and slowly sank inward as the writing on the stone illuminated. Phoenix only shot a glance at Caramel, and then Blade, and then the Demon, and they all began glowing. And, with a flash of light and a slight smelled of burned fur, they were gone.

Before Sniffles could ask where they had gone, Phoenix pointed skyward. The anteater looked up just in time to see a raccoon, a badger, a jar, and a very small porcupine fall from the black sky. Luckily, nobody was hurt in the fall, because Phoenix caught the jar and Blade in one hand each, and Sniffles managed to catch the miniature Flaky before she fell. And Caramel, well Sniffles broke her fall.

Once he pulled his battered body out from underneath Caramel, Sniffles held out Flaky, who seemed to be her normal self, save for being three inches tall. He whispered, so as not to hurt her very small eardrums,

"Flaky, are you,"

"Yup," She cut him off, "Back in my normal body, though just a little on the short side."

"Well, I just needed to thank you," Sniffles said, "For everything. That was pretty amazing what you did while you were, um, a fairy?"

Flaky gave him a puzzled look, then laughed and said, "Well, I'm not exactly sure how what happened happened, but it was kind of crazy. I felt like a ghost, and somebody kept whispering in my ear, and telling me what would happen next. So, I figured I'd just use it to help you."

"Aw, how swee," Sniffles began, but Phoenix quickly plucked the tiny porcupine out of the palm of his hand, and dropped her on the tablet.

"Now," He said, "we can get down to the business of fixing this cider incident."

He fished through his pockets for a moment, and realized he was missing something. He looked around and said,

"Pippy? Have you seen my pen, or my notepad? I could have sworn I had them with me,"

He pivoted from his sitting position, and saw that the little white rabbit was sitting, cross-legged and reading something out of a beaten-up notepad.

"Midna giggled, pressing her tiny imp hands up against Link's lupine loins," She read aloud, "as he lowered his immense, feral form down on her. He thought he was taking advantage of her, but she was only using his lust to slake her own."

Phoenix's face turned several shades of red, before he snatched the papers out of her hands.

""ey!" Pippy said, "I was jus' reading some of your fanfiction."

"You can't read that one! I mean," He cleared his throat, obviously flustered, "You shouldn't read that, because it's, um, unfinished! Yes, unfinished."

"But it goes on for six more pages, an" Before Pippy could say anything else, he wrapped an arm around her mouth and pulled her close while he wrote on the tablet, squeezing her just enough so she couldn't break out. Sniffles, who had been watching the whole time, only shook his head in disappointment.

But, in a few moments, Phoenix had finished amending, and he placed the pen back in his pants pocket. The second he finished, in perfect synch with what he had written, a strong breeze blew in from the north, and washed over them with the scent of apples and cinnamon. The wind washed over Flaky, who returned to her normal size, and made Cro-Marmot visible again, and let Disco Bear drop back down from where he was floating, landing hard on his backside. Blade seemed unaffected, but she no doubt had also been cured.

"I still can't believe you're doing that with some sort of superpower," Sniffles remarked.

Phoenix merely shrugged his shoulders, "Hey, you can believe what you want. But isn't this the same Sniffles who was brewing apple cider to fight a bat monster that steals people's bodies?"

"Yes, well," Sniffles said, but he didn't have anything else to say. How could he, after all that? He did, however, after watching Phoenix write for a while, decide that there was still some unanswered questions, "What about you? Where are you going after this is over?"

Phoenix, who was now holding Pippy up (She had given up fighting him and decided to rest in his arms for a bit. Poor thing hadn't any sleep in the longest time), said, as he wrote, "I guess I'll have to find a new hiding place for Pippy. She's too important to keep here."

"Because she's your daughter?"

"Because she's special. Ever heard of alternate universes?"

That was the last thing Phoenix said before focusing in on his writing. Sniffles preferred it that way. If this strange creature could change their very world by writing in a notebook, than he honestly didn't want to know what things his mistakes were capable of.

"This last passage something long?" said Sniffles. He was talking about the tablet, whatever Phoenix was writing was taking some time.

Phoenix looked up from his writing for just a second and said, "It'll be done when it's done."

…

Down at the base of the Pyramid, Meth had borrowed a cigarette from Mae, and was leaning up against the temple's base, beside Ryder.

"So, I suppose we're done here?" said the bear, with a hint of sarcasm.

"I wish," the Hyena said back, "I wish. With our luck these kids are gonna need us to watch over them all summer."

Meth cracked a smile, "Is that really such a bad thing?"

"Feh," Ryder kicked a rock and waited for it to bounce to a stop beside one of the apple trees before he said, "Not as simple as war. War, just kill and keep moving. Kids are a real pain."

"Careful Ryder, keep talking like that and someone will start to think you like them."

Ryder shook his head, but before he could say anything, the trees shook. Something let out a high pitched squeal that vibrated down to their very cores. Ryder trembled for a moment, before his eyes went steely, and he grabbed the rifle off the ground in front of him. Immediately taking aim down the sights, he stared into the trees.

The whole forest was still darkened by the swirling shadows above, he could barely see ten yards into the trees. It was all too tense for what seemed like an eternity. He heard the shifting of metal beside him, he didn't need to look to know that Meth had taken up his gun.

Something tore out of the darkness, and he instinctively fired a shot down the sights at it, only wasting a second to reload. Meth had fired as well, but neither bullet found a mark. The creature, something like the bat they had seen before, twisted in its flight, and then shot upwards, gliding over them. Ryder fired a second shot, but couldn't connect. He cursed his own aim in Russian, and tried to steady a shot on the beast, as it pulled up and circled back down on the temple, landing on the top level, on the altar.

Phoenix was taken by shock when he arrived, on giant wings misplaced on his body. He saw his face through the light of the torches and froze. It was Pop, and something else. The bat. It had taken his body and began to twist it. Perhaps this was the power he'd gained while Phoenix was under his control.

But now, Pop's old self was barely recognizable. His face was elongated, stretched along its jaw to allow for the rows of fangs that had grown in. And his torso had also been stretched so far that his skin looked as though it would snap at any moment, his ribs pulled farther than possible. And two wings had torn their way out of his back, still dripping blood down their thick, leathery span.

Before any of them could react, the bat snatched up Pippy, easily holding her tiny throat in one gnarled hand. It stood on the edge of the altar, holding her out to a fatal fall if he let her slip.

And worst of all, it spoke, spoke with a twisted voice to match its horrible form.

"_Write"_

It's voice was so contorted, and yet so clear Phoenix would have sworn he could hear it in his mind. His hand trembled, he couldn't react. The bat grew impatient and tightened his grip on Pippy. She squealed, and a pain shot through Phoenix's mind. It spoke again, louder,

"_WRITE."_

Phoenix, not daring to breathe, could see no other option. He lowered the pen downward, just touching the slate. Someone else spoke up for him, when he couldn't find the words. Someone from behind the bat.

"Excuse me sir," It turned and saw Cro-Marmot, standing fully upright, brushing the long hair from his eyes to show the anger that was in them, "I believe you should let the young miss go."

The bat lashed out at him with one claw, but the Cave Friend proved just a bit more agile than anyone could have expected. He countered, with a punch that could shatter stone, striking the beast in the stomach. It was staggered for a moment, but much to Cro's horror, it was nowhere near defeated.

"_Really?"_ It said, in that horrifying voice, "_What do you think you're doing? Who do you think you are?"_

Cro was too frightened to move, and the bat lashed out again, this time connecting. Cro screamed in pain as a chunk of his flesh was severed in an instant, revealing his bones. He stared at the wound for a moment, but a moment was all he would waste. He let out a primal roar and jumped at the bat, wrestling with it. Punches, screams and slashes could be heard. People were actually cheering for Cro, the campers below were shouting for him. It actually seemed he could defeat it, if only for a second.

But their hope was shattered without a second thought, and the bat threw Cro off his body, and to his death. He plummeted, down the flights of stairs, breaking every bone in his body. Phoenix wanted to scream, and he wasn't the only one.

"CRO!" Someone, it was Mint, she had screamed when she saw him fall. His body tumbled to the bottom, there was no life left in it, and it laid, in a pool of blood, at the temple's steps.

The bat looked to Phoenix, and screamed, "_YOU! You did this! She will die for your imputence!"_

Phoenix screamed, "NO! No leave her alone!"

The bat pushed away, and flapped its great wings, floating just above them. Pippy, who was in tears, felt the bat reach down to her stomach, and felt it tighten its hand on her throat. She could barely breathe, from his hand, and from her fright.

An explosion, a shot rang out like a screaming valkyrie! A bullet was lodged in the beast's side, disrupting his flight. Ryder smiled proudly, locking the next shell into the chamber. The next shot rang out, striking the sinews that bound its wings. The bullet cleanly severed the wing from its body, and screaming, the bat fell. It hit the ground like a meteor, the sound of snapping bones from the impact letting them know Ryder's attack had hit hard.

But when the dust cleared, through broken bones and blood gushing from wounds, the bat stood. Pippy was still locked in its hand. It screamed so that everyone could hear,

"_Idiots, all of you! This girl's life is forfeit, this is all you can hope for when you challenge a god!"_

Phoenix reached out to her; his daughter. He couldn't save her and he knew it, his eyes were welling up with tears. Nobody could help her, and even Ryder had to sit by and watch what happened next.

The bat dug into her soft stomach, its nails easily pierced her like an overripe fruit. And then he tore her open, pulling out her entrails like twine in a doll. He pulled her far apart, stretching her organs out as a grisly display for every one of the campers. She didn't scream.

Pippy didn't scream. She only turned her head towards the sky, towards the temple, where her father was. And her eyes, pupil-less, stared up to him.

And through her bloodied mouth, she smiled.

Phoenix, a grown man, fell down and cried. Nobody spoke, all they could hear was the harsh breathing of the bat, and the dripping of the last of Pippy's blood. But she smiled. She knew what was happening, in the instant that death became certain for her, it all became clear.

At first, the light cut through the darkness. Beams of sun like angel wings descended down, piercing the lake of shadows above them. Then, the darkness was torn asunder, and pieces of it rained down on them, dissolving like wisps of smoke. It almost looked like it was snowing, when the angel feathers began to float down. Phoenix looked up to the sky, he recognized these signs, but never believed it would happen.

A beam of light focused in on the bat, who's eyes had changed. The predatory look in the vicious eyes of the bat was now afraid. Pippy kept smiling, she knew this was her reward. The light intensified on them until it became blinding. And then it was gone, and the bat, and Pippy, all traces of them had vanished.

Sniffles couldn't believe what had been going on, and looked to Phoenix.

"Do you know what's happening?" He asked.

Phoenix smiled too, though he couldn't understand why, "I'm not sure yet, but someone's coming to visit us."

"Another Author?"

"No, someone much greater."

A cloud parted in the sky, and Sniffles looked up to see someone descend from the heavens above. It was a figure unlike any he'd seen before. If he believed in angels, this would be the perfect fit. Though certain things were strange about this visitor, like the lampshade that drifted just above their head.

It landed beside Phoenix, and spoke to him in a soothing, if not strangely effeminate voice, "My child, have you finished your work here?"

Phoenix didn't look up at the figure, "Am I speaking to what I believe I am?"

The figure laughed, "Precisely who you think."

"Phoenix," Sniffles interrupted, "Who is this?"

"This," Phoenix said, standing, "is the spirit of fantasy. The guiding light for all Authors. He is the belief of something greater, the idea that you belong somewhere else, the thought that looks beyond established facts and sees something that it could discover."

The spirit chuckled, "You've done your homework, I see."

"I only wonder why you're here." Phoenix asked, "But I suppose it might have something to do with my daughter?"

"Oh yes, Pippy, that adorable little plot bunny," it giggled, "She's been released! That world that she contained, she's become it now. That's one of the reasons I came here."

"She has?" Phoenix was taken back, "She's become something?"

"Yes, I suppose you could visit her when you're finished here. But aside from that, there's something else I wanted to say," The spirit took his hand, "I wanted to apologize. I may have interfered with your story in just the teensiest tiniest bit."

"You were the reason this didn't go right?"

"Yes, I have to admit that it was me. I hoped it would help you, and I think it did. But there's something else I need to apologize for?" And before Phoenix could ask what, the spirit said, "This."

The spirit and Phoenix both began to fade. He immediately realized that he was being called back out of the story. He panicked, and shouted to Sniffles, "Sniffles, you need to know. If my story didn't change too much then Cro-Marmot might make it! He's not wearing a necklace! And tell everyone goodbye!"

And then, the Author, and the Spirit were gone, leaving a very confused Sniffles. But it seemed like nobody else had seen the spirit. Or seen Phoenix disappear. Flaky, who had been standing behind Sniffles, placed a hand on his shoulder and surprised him. Of course, when he yelled, Flaky yelled too, and it took them a moment before Flaky could finally ask what she had wanted to,

"Sniffles, where'd Phoenix go?"

"Oh, he left, to go home. And he said," Sniffles stopped, and he smiled, "Flaky, follow me! I need to check something!"

And he started to run down the temple steps, with Flaky running behind him.

…

Somewhere, out in the woods, Mumbo sat up against a tree clutching his head. That bullet wound in his shoulder was nothing more than a minor inconvenience, and he patched it up quickly with some old elixirs he kept in his coat.

This hadn't been the first time he'd gotten possessed by a wayward spirit, and it certainly wouldn't be the last, but it always left him with a splitting headache. So now he was nursing a bottle of tonic he'd kept handy and resting on a fallen tree, when he heard someone coming out from deeper in.

A porcupine dressed up in a park ranger's uniform stepped out from the thicket of trees, brandishing a dart gun. He looked over to Mumbo and shouted,

"It's okay citizen, I am a state ranger! You have nothing to be afraid of!"

Another ranger, a fox, followed from behind, dragging the corpse of an enormous snake, with several darts sticking out of it, "Kurt, do we really need to be carrying this thing around?"

"Yes! It's a sign of my victory! Now help me help this passerby!"

Mumbo groaned, clutching his head, "Oh just shut up!"

…

_Epilogue_

The following week, camp resumed under the watchful eye of Sniffles, the new head of camp. Cro-Marmot took up Phoenix's job as janitor, enjoying the title very much. Seems like the curse was still in effect for him, much as Phoenix planned, and he was found the next day, snoozing in the infirmary. Nobody knows exactly what happened to Phoenix, Pippy, or the Bat, but Sniffles swore while he was stargazing one night he noticed some new stars. And though he swore it was a trick of his mind, if he connected them, he made out the shape of a head, with two large rabbit ears sticking out of the top.

And on that last week of camp, just when the balmy weather had begun to chill, there was a dance held in the mess hall. A karaoke machine had been set up, and Mae had taken it over, forcing a not entirely unwilling Spades to sing duets with her. And while it wasn't his best idea, Sniffles had decided to leave out the cider for everyone to have a little fun with.

"Okay, c'mon, we'll both down them at the same time," Tyler said, holding a cup of cider. Chunky looked down into his cup, and then looked over to Lammy and Maria who were also holding a cup each. Tyler counted down and on three they each shot back their cups.

Chunky immediately felt sick, and then in a large puff, his fur popped off, leaving him a hairless pink color. Tyler immediately started laughing, but stopped when "he" noticed "His" voice had become much higher, and his bosom had grown considerably. That's when Chunky started laughing.

Maria would have been laughing too, but it would seem the cider had rendered her mute, and Lammy couldn't see anything, considering the drink had caused her wool to grow suddenly, turning her into a giant ball of wool.

Amidst the confusion, singing and mayhem Mumbo and Cro were busy keeping up with the food orders. Mumbo immediately needed more French fries and another order of Pigs in Blankets, and called to Cro, who ran to the pantry. Of course, he didn't get very far, because he was blocked by a giant purple wall of fat. He looked up in horror to see Caramel, who had been hitting up the cider again, snacking on just about everything in the pantry.

She waved, and started to say something, but stopped when her belly began gurgling. Cro didn't waste any time running, and bolted out the front door and when Mumbo noticed what was going on, he only had enough time to yell,

"**SHE'S GONNA BLOW!"**

* * *

Hah!

Happy New Year all, and a hell of a year it's been!

Hope nobody minded me throwing in those last two scenarios. I know it was a little goofy, but it helped lighten the mood. And for those of you who were wondering, I kind of imagined the spirit of Fantasy as Hugh Bliss, to explain his feminine voice.

Now go forth my children and review! Flamers will have an extra gassy Caramel sent to their house!


End file.
